I am loving the comments I’ve been getting lately on my previous posts.  Thank you!  Reading about the reactions or thoughts you guys are having is always a pleasant and very personal experience for me.  From these comments, I stumbled upon a great post by Matt Savage.  He pondered if the lack of male role models gave rise to the Pick-Up Artists.  It really got me thinking, especially after I watched the video of Zan posted in that same article.

I think it’s true!  I look back and I look around me:  all the men (outside of the Seduction Community) who I consider to have healthy relationships with women have had some sort of personal male role model.  It could be their father, a close friend, their cousin, uncle or whoever… but they learned how to present themselves to women from them.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not implying that men who were raised primarily by their mothers aren’t successful with women, but they tend to have a less masculine demeanor to them (until they learn better).

I look at my own life experience and I can definitely relate.  I learned to be a social butterfly from both my Mom and Dad who were great in their own ways when interacting with people.  My Mom taught me the power of words.  She was more reserved and diplomatic.  My Dad taught me how to be interested in people and how to win debates.  He was more gung ho.  However, during my puberty years, the daily presence of my father was lacking as he was living in a different country for most of the year.  At the time, I was not comfortable or willing to talk girls with my Mom so I did not have any real guidance in that department.

Last week, my friend ”Pastiche“ of Houston sent me a video of of Alan Roger Currie being interviewed at the launch of his book “Mode One” in Chicago.  His directness towards women is a bit too extreme for my taste, but I definitely respect his approach of living unapologetically and setting the right expectations for people around you.  It really all comes down to this:  men need to learn to be “real” men.

When I read seduction related material, they call it:  being dominant, coming from a place of high value, not giving  yourself excuses for your sexual desires, being alpha, leading.  When I read business books, they talk about:  being a leader, being a motivator, having a plan, being decisive.  It’s all the same.  As a man, embrace your natural self.  What does that mean?

I feel that our world is becoming too politically correct.  Girls are taught to constantly express their independence and strength to prove they can be equal to men.  Boys are taught to suppress their natural competitive and more masculine urges out of tolerance for the other person and in order to avoid conflict.  I believe this is the real cause for the “terminal Nice Guy disease” that Eric “Disco” M. from PU101 wrote about. 

Suppressing your natural self is wrong.  Boys need to be taught how to control and use their masculinity with respect and care for others to create more meaning.  This is what Wayne “Juggler” Elise call “alpha nice.”  Look around you, the most amazing things are created out of tension and conflict.  The best sex comes from built-up sexual tension.  You don’t hear about great sex from the “Oh my God, he/she was so sweet” stories.  You want to see friction overcome in beautiful unison. 

We live in a world of contrast.  Without contrast, good means nothing, bad means nothing.  The best communicators use contrast in their speech (hint: use more contrast when talking about yourself or giving compliments).  Contrast is what makes things appealing.  Fashion revolves around how well we match contrast together.  World wars are when societies create their most lasting innovations. 

Is being masculine or feminine that important?

In terms of getting on with your life, not really.  Being masculine or feminine has no bearing on the kind of success you experience in life.  Being masculine or feminine is also very subjective to the individual.  However in dating, I have noticed that women respond better to a more masculine man, and men respond better to a more feminine woman.  I will proudly say it:  the more feminine a girl is, the more I am to notice her.  I love a girl who takes pride in being a woman (and yes, I am turned off by overly feministic and even overly submissive behavior).

I previously linked in my Random Tidbits post 2 articles on attractive walking patterns.  I can’t speak for all men but that’s really what I notice first in a woman.  I like to watch the way she carries herself.  No matter what shape, size or form, the more womanly she is with her demeanor, make-up (girls, please don’t go overboard with it.  Lipgloss is great though), fashion/clothing (yay to skirts!), hair… the more I am to take a double look on her.  And that’s even before I know anything about her!  Once I am interacting with her, I like it when she is cutesy.  I like it when she has a little bit of spunk to herself.  I like it when she allows me to lead and when she is responsive to my lead.

For guys:  how do I become more masculine?

According to Wikipedia’s article on masculinity, Janet Saltzman Chafetz describes 7 areas of traditional masculinity in Western culture:

1. Physical – virile, athletic, strong, brave. Unconcerned about appearance and aging;
2. Functional – breadwinner, provider;
3. Sexual – sexually aggressive, experienced. Single status acceptable;
4. Emotional – unemotional, stoic (think emotionally stable/strong);
5. Intellectual – logical, intellectual, rational, objective, practical,
6. Interpersonal – leader, dominating; disciplinarian; independent, individualistic (applies to western societies);
7. Other Personal Characteristics – success-oriented, ambitious; proud, egotistical (applies to some societies);  moral, trustworthy; decisive, competitive, uninhibited, adventurous.

So pick one… or two… or three from the list and work on them.  If you can display any of these traits, SOME women will feel attracted to you.  I personally feel that if your goal is to attract as many women as you can, you should be sexually and interpersonally masculine/dominant.

But if you have to blend all of these areas together, masculinity is best embodied by decisiveness.  I know it sounds very simple but decisiveness implies two things:  (1) knowing what you want and making a stand, AND (2)acting/following-through on your decision.

Hmmm… is there anything that I need to decide on today?

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