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| Make Yourself Happy First |
| Posted by Khiem in: Articles, Podcast |
So I am one day late.
I wanted to publish this post yesterday but Yakub is taking all of my time. I just dropped him off at the airport so that he can finally go home to Virginia.
Pfffeew, what a fun couple of weeks I’ve had with him.
If you don’t have a cool buddy to do fun crazy things with, I highly recommend you find yourself one. I don’t mean a good buddy to play video games or sit around at home with but a seriously awesome guy you can hang out and play around with. Hmmm… that didn’t sound right.
I meant you should find yourself a super chill guy with whom you can fuck around when you two are meeting and talking to the people you see in your daily routine. You want a guy who’s at the same level as you socially or better… or you want a guy with whom you feel energized by.
Yakub is one of those guys who just make me want to do more in my life. We are always daring each other on stupid stuff and we push each other’s boundaries. In all honesty, sometimes I hate him. He’s always making fun of me but so am I. What can I say… it’s a love/hate relationship 
We actually got new nicknames for each other. We’re the new Harold and Kumar! Some girl we were talking to at Whole Foods gave those to us because we were such screwballs on the day I was wearing that “BIG PENIS” t-shirt.
Anyway, one of the things I love most about meeting people is learning from their experiences.
It is fascinating for me to listen to someone talk about what made them succeed in life or what made them one way or another. Last week, one of David Wygant’s clients came into town and all we did was go around town to shop with him while listening to his life stories and countless jokes.
Let me tell you: this particular client was an experience of his own. I have never learned so much from someone by just hanging out with him for 2 days. He obviously was successful in his business. He made plenty enough of money to not worry about his spending habits but what struck me the most was not his ridiculous generosity but his lifestyle.
The way he leads his life is that he creates and lives his very own fantasy. No matter where he goes, he thinks of entertaining himself first. He creates his own situations and his own memories. He jokes around with people, he plays with them… sometimes he give them gifts because he likes to show them that anything is possible. He likes to create the unexpected in people’s lives.
He absolutely has no social fear. He has no sense of social boundary.
It’s very inspiring.
David actually nicknamed him Santa Claus. It’s pretty funny actually because it’s so accurate!
Most of us are afraid of standing out. We want to be unique but we are afraid of not fitting in so we play it safe most of our lives. After watching him, I realized even more that the real fun is when you create your own rules. You CAN live your own fantasy if you want to. No one can judge you if you are doing the things you love and enjoy, even when it’s “out of the norm”.
If people can’t accept you the way you are, they will weed themselves out of your life. The one who stays are the one you want around in the first place. They are the ones that will make you an even better, an even more interesting person.
Personally, his ability to create good energy and have fun anywhere was mind boggling. Everything he did came from a place of making himself happy first, even in his dealings with women. He obviously cared about women and gave a lot of himself to them but it always came second to his own happiness.
If the Community was to look at the way he gives to others, the Community would probably consider his overly generous behavior as supplicative but in all honesty, he did not come across supplicative at all. Everything he did, he did from a place of authenticity, a place of personal power… and THAT was very attractive about him.
Parts of the Community teach guys to put people down with negs or tell you that it’s bad to give too much to people. If you were a recovering “nice guy”, I can see why you should abide by those rules for a while but eventually, as you learn to find what your boundaries and deal breakers are as a man, it’s okay to give… as long as you do it for your own happiness’s sake and from a place of self-respect.
By the way, to download the podcast onto your computer, right click and choose “save target as…” if you don’t want a new browser window to pop up.
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April 8th, 2008 at 9:35 am
Very enjoyable blog today. I had so much fun and learned so much from Khiem that I can’t put into words!
April 9th, 2008 at 1:12 am
Yakub seems like a really cool guy. The way you talk about him reminds me of my old friend in socially awkward yet living in your own reality life. He’s settled down now, so I do kinda feel a void from missing the guy I can just do crazy stuff with for no apparent reason other than personal enjoyment and creating insane memories.
It’s actually kind of interesting because I used to live in my own oblivious reality. I’d go outside wearing red shorts and a red shirt looking like the kool aid man but feeling effing awesome. I used to be able to say the most random things without a care or worry about how insane it sounded.
Now, however, I’ve grown up and kinda limited some of that behavior because I know its not “socially acceptable”. It comes back to a quote from Notes From The Underground I guess: “It was not only that I could not become spiteful, I did not know how to become anything; neither spiteful nor kind, neither a rascal nor an honest man, neither a hero nor an insect. Now, I am living out my life in my corner, taunting myself with the spiteful and useless consolation that an intelligent man cannot become anything seriously, and it is only the fool who becomes anything.”
I am working towards being an intelligent fool, knowing the social matrix and boundaries, but discarding it in favor of doing what I want to do for my personal enjoyment. It’s a really good post man.