…you know how to entertain yourself!!!

If you don’t know how to have fun at the club, don’t go. 

Or if you want to be good at club game, then take some time to learn how the social dynamics at a club or at a bar works. 

It’s really not that hard.

Let me spell it out for you.  H-A-V-E   F-U-N.

Clubs and bars are just places for you to be social and retarded at the same time.  The real “seduction” game is always done in isolation, when you are 1-on-1 with the girl.

Whenever I go to the club (and I don’t go that often), I always see 2 kinds of guys:

1. the wall flower
2. the hunter

The wall flower is the guy who hopes to meet someone but for some reason, he’s too scared to talk to anyone.  Something is blocking him.  He wants to meet someone so bad that he inadvertently puts immense pressure on himself and psyches himself out… so there he stands, on the sideline, admiring everyone walking by.

I can relate to the wall flower guy.  I used to be one of them.  Either the music is too loud and I didn’t think the woman would hear me so I didn’t approach, or the girl is too hot and I get intimidated, or I would think too hard and get all self-conscious because i thought everyone would look at me if I tried to approach a girl or if I went on the dance floor.  I didn’t want to embarrass myself.  I would go to the club because all my friends were going but deep inside, I hated it because i didn’t know how have fun there.

Then there’s the hunter.  The hunter wants sex so bad that he’ll prey on any person in heels.  Some of the Pick-Up Artists (PUAs) I know are hunters.  Some of the natural guys I know are hunters too.  The good thing about hunters is that they have no fear.  They are super goal-oriented (because they want to get laid) and they can just walk up to the girl without thinking twice.  They go after what they want.  They appeal to girls because they seem confident.  

Do they get any play?  Sure they do because it’s a numbers game. 

The bad thing about hunters is… by the end of the night, they might have creeped half the club out.  They are also not always good at connecting with women.  They are going after a goal so they forget to truly be present and they forget to fully connect with and appreciate the woman in front of them.  A lot of the hunters are somewhat insecure too.  They need the validation of “getting the girl” to feel good about themselves.  I guess in some weird ways, they are needy.

If I had to choose between the two of them, I’d prefer hanging out with the hunters.  They are fun!  No matter what they do, no matter how the situation turns out, it’s always something to remember later on.  They don’t care how they are perceived so they are hilarious to watch and make fun of.

However, I lied to you.  There is a third type of guy that you can see at the club.  This is the kind of guy I hope I am.  This is the guy who I would ALWAYS pick to hang out with over the wall flower and the hunter.

3.  the cool guy

The cool guy is the kind of guy who knows how to have fun.  He brings the fun to everyone so people always want to be around him, women included.  He’s not overly boisterous, obnoxious, sexual or even creepy like the hunter.  He is just socially savvy.  When the time comes, he knows what to do to get the girl.

He doesn’t try too hard to impress anyone but he knows how to connect and make others feel special.  He lifts people up.  He’s usually a leader in his social circle and people respect his opinion.  When you hang out with him, everything seems to flow naturally.  You always have a good time when around him.

EVERY man wants to be the cool guy.  We want to be that guy that radiates of fun, warm, masculine and friendly energy.  EVERY Pick-Up Artist hopes to be the cool guy who gets the girl.

The funny thing is… you CAN’T PRACTICE being a cool guy.  You either are or you are not.  You can’t open hundreds of “sets” to learn to be attractive.  You have to BE the cool guy. 

So how do you BECOME the cool guy? 

FOCUS ON THE RIGHT THING.  THINK like him, BEHAVE like him.

Focus on having fun.  Focus on being in the moment.  Focus on listening… and lead.

While in the club, if you even have to think on what to do to be perceived as the cool guy, then you are not the cool guy.  Cool guys don’t think.  They do.   If you have to strategize your moves, do it while visiting your neighborhood stall.

Here’s is a little piece I wrote for David Wygant’s blog a few weeks ago.

In bars and clubs, women are there to have fun.  It always surprises me, however, how many men are there to hunt.  These are the men standing against the wall, drooling, and strategizing how to approach the women.  What they really should be doing is going up to those women and having fun with them.

Unless a woman is really on the hunt herself, she is NOT looking to hook up with you tonight!  So instead of thinking of clever lines to say to a woman when you approach her, why not bring some great energy and just have fun with her?

For example, when you’re at the club, invite a girl to dance.  If you’re not a dancer, then joke around with her… tease her.

When you’re at the bar, don’t talk about your job or your miserable life.  Again, women are out at a bar or club because they want to escape from those things.  Help her escape the mundane daily boredom of her life.

So walk up to a woman and be playful.  Be unique.  Be intriguing.  Don’t worry so much about hooking up with her.  If you guys can have fun together, she will want to have you around again.  If you can include her friends in that fun, it’s even better.

The difference between day game and night game is really the energy that’s involved.  Everything David teaches about “day game” can be applied in clubs and bars.  So the energy you bring into a club or bar will be the difference in how you are able to connect with the women there.

The energy you bring can be seen the moment you enter a bar or club.  When most guys walk in to a club or bar, they scramble around looking for their friends or looking for “targets.”  Instead of doing that, as you walk in, take a moment to stop and scan the area.  You’ll be surprised how many people will notice you.

You may also be surprised at how many people will smile at you.  Those are the people you want to go talk to first.  If you really want to meet or pick-up a girl, don’t make it harder on yourself.  You don’t get extra points for doing the impossible.

Whether you like the first few people you talk to doesn’t matter.  You’re there to be social, have fun and connect with people.  Even if you don’t care for these people, the way you are interacting with them will make all the people who are looking at you wonder who you are. 

Who is this guy who seems so fun?  Who is this guy who looks like he knows everyone?

Now, you have the power of intrigue on your side. [and social proof]

So then how do you approach the girl you actually want to meet?  First, don’t hesitate.  People are just looking to have fun so you don’t need the perfect line to start a conversation.

Make a quick observation or use an assumption. Here are a few examples:

“Hey, you guys are fun.  What are you guys doing?  You are being loud and you’re going to have to keep it down.  I’m trying to dance.”

“Wow, you can dance – but can you do this?”

“Why are all the girls in this bar so friendly?  Are you friendly?”

The key point of your opener is not what you say, it’s your delivery.  You need to be excited to be there.  Interestingly, the girl doesn’t even have to like your opener for it to be successful.  She just has to accept it.

It’s your follow-up that counts.  If you make it even more fun for her to be there because you are there, she will want you to stick around.

In addition, if your friends are with you, then don’t be afraid of introducing her to them.  Your friends can speak well of you to her.  Thus by sheer association, you are going to be seen as even cooler if you have cool friends.

At a club or bar, it’s better for you to be the fun, social guy than the “hunter.”  I’ve seen a lot of “hunters” enter a club in a group but then once inside, they disperse immediately and never see their friends again until the end of the night.  Don’t be that creepy guy!

Girls are not stupid.  Girls in a big club or bar will always ask you who you came with that night.  You don’t want to be that guy who points in twenty directions looking for his friends.

Hanging with her friends and having fun with them will always help you in terms of how a woman will perceive you.  After you have fun and really connect with her, then you can pull her aside and decide whether you want her number or whether you want to go for a quick hook-up. 

Either way, your follow-up should be made within 24 hours.  Use momentum to your advantage.

I guess my blog for David stopped short of the juicy part, huh?  I can already hear some of you say:

Wait… what if I want a one night-stand.  I want to hook-up when I go to the club.  Are you saying that I can’t do that?”

No, that’s not what I’m saying.  You can definitely pick-up and hook-up with a girl the same night you meet her at the club but no matter what you do, your focus should be on HAVING FUN.  If you start strategizing too much, if you start thinking too much about the right or the best thing to say next, somewhere… sometime… your vibe will be off.

Your vibe won’t be seen as fun, friendly and dominant anymore.  People will sense that you want something from them.   You are being too pushy.  You are turning them off.

To hook-up with a girl on the same night, all you have to do is lead her into favorable logistics for you to “do the wild thing” while making sure you two are enjoying your time together. 

To incite her to DESIRE you, to inspire her to jump your bone, you have to arouse her throughout the night.  You have to talk to her emotional and sexual side.  I don’t care how you do it.  There’re a lot of articles out there on how to create a sexual vibe.

Just off of the top of my head, I can think of role play, teasing, subliminal (sexual) language and metaphors, strong sensual body language and eye contact… etc.

It’s really not that hard.  STOP making “meeting women” so complicated by over-thinking what to do.

If you listen more attentively to your urges and desires, you’ll know what to do.

And if worse comes to worse and you can’t do that, well… there’re always Korean clubs (aka “booking” clubs).

Ah… yes.  I forgot to tell you about Korean clubs.  Korean clubs are a unique experience of their own.  I just went to my first Korean club 2 Fridays ago for one of my friend’s birthday.

The cool thing about Korean clubs is that you don’t need to know anything about approaching women.  So if you are wall flower, this is for you.  If you hate being a hunter, you don’t have to be one either.  Women are BROUGHT to you.

“What?  What?!?”  you say.

Simply put… when you go to a Korean club, you are given a table for you and your buddies to chill at (obviously, this implies you are ordering a bottle service.  Just for the experience, do it once and split the bill with your friends).  The guys’ tables are semi-circular in shape and are placed on the outside rim of the center of the club.  All girls sit at square tables in the middle of the club near the dance floor.

You have PERFECT view of all the girls in the club.

As the night progresses, the waiter will start bringing you random chicks from the club.  The better you tip him, the more girls he brings you and the better looking they get.  All these girls are not working girls.  They are just random customers of the club.

Let me assure you.  By the end of the night, you’ll have met waves of girls.  Once you get introduced, all you have to do is have fun and be interesting.  The bottle service can help keep them around if your game really sucks LOL.

Everyone is getting wasted.  It’s a total hook-up environment.  You are drinking.  She’s drinking.  It’s only a matter of time before someone starts making out.

My first experience at a Korean club was quite memorable.  I barely talked to the girl.  All I knew about her was her name (which I can’t even remember now) and that she looked sexy in her blue dress.

My friend was actually working on her friend.  Knowing what I know about pickup, I decided to play wingman for him.  I talked to my girl a little bit, just enough to distract her away from my friend running his game.  (By the way, my friend is not a PUA.  He’s just a normal social guy).

I made her sit close to me.  I didn’t do any form of crazy routines to touch her (if you know me, that’s not my style) but I held her close and had some casual touching going on.  I talked a little fluff.  I held a lot of strong eye contact and I would speak in her ear a lot. 

Her and I would alternate between grinding on the dance floor and sitting at the table.  Within 10-15 minutes, we started making out.  I kind of felt her up too.  Eventually, she was almost humping me.  She was literally simulating sex with me as we danced to the rythm of music.

Trust me.  Listen to your instincts more.  Ride the “fun vibe”.

You’ll be surprised how little “technical” game you really need.

It’s too bad her girlfriend took my girl away once I pulled her aside and things started to get really hot.

If you already know how to arouse a girl, logistics is always going to be your biggest issue if you are looking for one-night stands.

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