I love it when someone wants to write a guest post on my blog.

There are lot of guys out there who have something good to say about meeting women and they don’t all charge something for sharing their knowledge.

Today, I have Robert Z from www.MasteringTheArtOfAttraction.com wanting to talk about the mindset you should have when you approach a woman.  After talking with him by email, I learned to appreciate the maturity he has that only comes with age.  In his 40s, he has the experience to truly understand what guys go through when they are trying to learn to get better at this whole dating game.

Robert likes to focus on giving pragmatic advice on how shy guys can build up their self-esteem with strong inner game techniques.  He’s an advisor on Zan Perrion’s Natural Game forums so I’m more than happy to have him stop by to share his knowledge.  I’ve recently met Zan at the PUA Summit this year and I just love his work.

It’s always easy for someone to tell you what to do when you approach.  Say this, do that… but it’s harder to teach you the right vibe.

At the beginning, you might need to learn WHAT to say… but eventually, you should really focus more on HOW to say things and how you should perceive yourself and the woman in the situation at hand.  The way you deliver your lines and your body language projects a certain image, a certain vibe that once you get down pat, makes it SUPER easy to meet and attract people. 

You’d be surprised how people react to energy and vibe way more than words.

The funny thing is that vibe has to come from within.  You can very rarely fake it.  Even if you get good at faking it by practicing all these “outer” techniques you’ve read on the internet, people usually can sense when something is off because you lack genuineness or authenticity.

Eventually, you have to learn to own yourself.  You have to believe in yourself.  You have to trust yourself.  The stronger you believe in yourself, the more powerful and attractive your vibe becomes.

Without further ado, I’m giving you Robert Z’s “Is She Worth Approaching?”.

IS SHE WORTH APPROACHING?

It’s a funny thing.  When you first see a really hot woman walking towards you, the first thing that goes through your mind is usually, “Man, I’d love to talk to her and take her back to my place ASAP!”

But the reality of the situation could be just the reverse.  What if her breath is horrible?  What if she has the worst attitude of all time?  What if her intelligence level is bordering on being mentally retarded?

You can never be too sure that a woman will measure up to your first observations of her unless you open the girl up and find out for yourself.  I have personally found that once I get close up enough to certain women, they actually are not nearly as beautiful as I had initially thought they were.

This can be embarrassing once you start saying something to her and then find out some of her teeth are missing!  Hey, it happens.  It just goes to show that you really have no reason to be as nervous as you currently are when you first start your approaches with women because most of them can never measure up to your high expectations of them anyway!

SHE NEEDS TO KNOW YOU AS MUCH AS YOU NEED TO KNOW HER

It’s always good to let her know a little about you when you first open her, without being totally upfront about where you live, what you do or where you are originally from.  You don’t give the key to the entire house to a stranger, do you?  You want to tease her sense of curiosity.

Women love intriguing men who will not give them much information about themselves from the start but you should lead her into having an intimate conversation with you by telling her something about yourself first.

You are the man.  Take the initiative.

This will allow her comfort level with you to be raised because now she sees that you are trying to be “real” with her, not phony.  And it also helps when you relate to her about certain shortcomings on your part, such as being kind of shy when it comes to meeting new women because she will open up and tell you her shortcomings.

Then you can decide if you can overlook her faults and still consider her sexy enough to get to know her further.  Tell her where you are going or what you will be doing later after you have exchanged names with her.

For instance, telling a girl something like, “I just went to the post office and man, was it packed today!” is showing her that you are active during the day and then she will tell you where she is going.  That opens your next suggestion to her and you can say, “Sounds like you could use a cup of coffee or a coke.  There’s a Starbucks down the street.  I’ll meet you there in ten minutes.”

When you say something like this, you are not letting her say no.  If she is a girl worth getting to know better, she will accept your invitation, which will let you really know if she is worth your time.  If she declines, say “Thanks, anyway,” and look for a girl who can appreciate who you are.

Read all of my articles on “Approaching Women” as well as many other seduction topics on my daily blog and on this site.  These articles will really help your seduction game tenfold, and make sure you read my book, “Mastering the Art of Attraction” that will be coming out soon.

The more I learn from other guys in this dating/pickup industry, the more I realize we all say pretty much the same thing.  We just explain it in different terms. 

When you approach, don’t give your power away so easily to someone you don’t know.  You are someone of value.  Act like one.

If you are one of these very technical guys, what Robert tells you here is to maintain a qualifying/screening frame from the very beginning of the interaction.  You first drop hints of value by telling her a little bit about yourself (that creates intrigue), then you quickly engage her more into the interaction by making her commit back to you when she answers your questions, when she opens up to you, when she relates back to you.

You are asking her to actively participate in the interaction when you make her put effort into the conversation (aka invest in you/put in compliance) so that you can determine if she’s worth your time.

To end today’s blog, I’m going to share with you a conversation I had with my friend Lexi.  We were discussing how even the most mainstream dating advice is not actually that bad.  You just have to read them with the right context, with the right frame in mind and with the right attitude.

Have a good day, guys!

 

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This entry was posted on Wednesday, June 4th, 2008 at 3:45 pm. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a comment, or trackback from your own site.