Pardon my bluntness here but let me ask you something:

Are you a great lover?

Really.  Honestly.  Don’t try to blow yourself up here.  I’m not the one to judge you.  Look straight into my eyes and tell me how good of a lover you are.

No, no, no, don’t laugh either.  I’m asking for your own benefit.

You see, I love nicknames.  

Nicknames are fun.  Every time I give someone a nickname, I just feel that much closer to them.  I particularly love giving nicknames to the girl(s) I’m dating.  It’s very endearing and guess what, she likes it too.  The fun part is seeing what kind of nickname the girl might give you.

And… let me tell you.  There is ONE nickname you don’t ever want to be called.  

You don’t want to be “Dildo…”

No, I’m not “Dildo.”

“But a lot of guys are,”  as my girl from Vegas claimed.

Think of the imagery for a moment.  Guys = Dildos.  How funny is that?!?  It makes total sense!  Most guys don’t know the first thing about sexual pleasure beyond kissing, some basic fingering or tonguing techniques and in-and-out hip movements.

No wonder women are so picky about who they sleep with.  They don’t want another lame lover.  If all that they wanted was some in-and-out poking of their vaginas, they could just as well pull out their favorite plastic toy.

Men like that are disposable.  They are no better than dildos.

My friend from Vegas is in her late 20s.  None of the guys she’s been with in the past 10 years has ever taken the time to figure out where her G-spot is.  That’s totally absurd!

It’s like all they do is find a way to stick it in, pump a few times and there… that’s their idea of sex.

If the guys were a bit more sophisticated, they’d have learned something about female anatomy so they’d know a few special sex positions or techniques to specifically stimulate the various erogenous zones (aka G-Spot, Anterior and Posterior Fornix, Clitoris, Perineum area… etc.) and… eventually, after they’ve explored all the technical aspects of sex, they’d have played with speed and depth variation or how rough they’d go at it.

Sounds like a lot of fun and it is!  But great sex goes way beyond that.

Great sex involves a certain level of emotional chemistry.  It requires a certain level of sensuality in the lovemaking process.  It involves you and the woman sharing a certain amount of feelings and sensations with each other, whether it’s created through the sheer aggressiveness of roughly tumbling in bed or the affectionate loving caress and touch of skin to skin contact.  

There’s a lot you can do for great sex but one of the key elements I have found that works consistently is to engage and completely immerse the woman’s mind into the sexual experience so that she can truly surrender to the pleasure she’s feeling.

If you haven’t noticed, we -men- are the same way.  If we don’t fantasize about something sexual when we masturbate, “it” doesn’t work.  I guess that’s why we got porn!

Seriously though, dirty sexy talk is one of the best ways for you to achieve mental sexual immersion for both you and your woman.  Read some David Shade or Daniel Rose if you don’t know how to do that.  If you are skeptical, go read Nancy Friday’s My Secret Garden and see how sexual women really think on the inside.

Deep inside, women are very very sexual and you want to be the man who knows how to unlock and tap into that energy.  I mean, look at a woman’s genitalia.  She can feel pleasure in so many different ways!  Inside or outside, deep or shallow… do you realize the sexual pleasure potential here?

So when you know some anatomy and when you learn to arouse and seduce her sexual mind, you’ve got some steamy sleepless nights ahead of you.

The psychology of sexual arousal starts way before the bedroom.  

From the way you touch her, from the way you look at her, from the way you lead her, from the way you make her feel, from the way you engage her imagination, you can create sexual desires in her without saying a word.  Some people call it sexual state transference.

David Wygant has a great imagery for that.  He teaches:  

Think of the woman lying in bed and masturbating to you.  Her toy or finger is named after you.  Every time she moans, she’s calling out your name in ecstasy.  Let that imagery fill your body.  Notice how you feel more powerful, more attractive, more sexual.  Notice how you are smiling differently.  You have that sly smile going on.  There…  Go talk to the woman with THAT smile. 

You really want to learn to project that sexual masculine dominance through the little things you do too.  It comes down to you being the man, you commanding respect, you being decisive and knowing when and how to take charge.  When you are being the man, the woman allows herself to trust your leadership so that she can just focus on enjoying the ride.

She’s allowing herself to surrender to the experience of being with you.

Don’t misunderstand me.  I can see some women reading this and ask:  what if I like a softer kind of man?  That’s totally fine but when I tell the guy to “be the man,” I really mean:  have the inner strength and conviction of knowing who you are and acting on what you want.  

You don’t have to be this brutal or macho man to be the man.

When the woman can feel that kind of masculine strength in a man, that kind of internal warm dominance, she’s more receptive to feeling sexual with him.  She’s learned to trust and respect him so she’s more open to him seducing and arousing her.  

Once you’ve earned and commanded her trust and respect, dirty sexy talk and sexual state transference work wonders.

So… don’t be a dildo.  

Take some time to learn a little bit about female anatomy and how women really think and feel about sex.

When you know how to engage the woman’s sexual mind on a consistent basis, who knows what kind of wild, steamy, hot, passionate and fulfilling sexual experiences you’ll get to live out?

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