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| Is He or She the One? |
| Posted by Khiem in: Articles |
Not long ago, I went back to Texas for my college roommate’s wedding.
One of my favorite things to do when I meet couples is to ask them how they met. Every time I hear their stories, I feel enchanted. The way they tell their stories is always so vivid! They remember every detail as if it was yesterday and share it with such enthusiasm and passion that you can’t help but smile.
When I hear excitement in their story from both the man and the woman, that’s when I know their marriage will probably last.
However, I’ve always been curious about a much bigger question. After you’ve been dating someone for a while, how do you know if he or she is the one?
How do you know it’s time for you to take it to the next level?
The Seduction Community never really addresses relationship questions. They only teach you how to meet and attract the girl… but what do you do after that? How do you know if someone is good for you? How do you maintain the relationship?
Is marriage just the natural progression of “we’ve been together for a while so it just felt right for us to get married” or is it more about “I absolutely love this person and can’t imagine living and growing with someone else”?
Every time I’ve asked one of my friends who recently got married that question, I get a different answer.
Seriously, how do you know?
For once, I think I have my own answer.
You see, I have a friend who’s been dating a guy for at least 5 years now… maybe longer. She just bought a house and is planning on allowing her boyfriend to move in with her. From what I hear, she has a lot of doubts about the future of her relationship with him.
After moving in with him for less than a week, she’s discovering sides of him that she’s never known… for example, she’s discovered how he’s very obsessive about making everything match in the house… or how he wants things a certain way.
When I heard that, I couldn’t help myself get frustrated: how could you not know that about him? You’ve been dating him for 5+ years!
However, my blog today is not about whether or not you truly know a person after an x amount of time. It’s about knowing if he or she is the one.
And let me tell you, looking back at my friend, I don’t recall her ever being truly excited about him. Every time I asked about her relationship, she always tells me it’s going alright or good… but there was always something seemingly missing. He always had something that was not good enough for her.
That’s when it dawned on me.
Listen to your feelings more.
Listen to your heart more.
Knowing if someone is the one is not about logic. It’s a feeling, it’s almost an urge.
It really doesn’t matter how long you’ve been dating someone to know if he or she is the one. For my friend in question, she’s giving herself more time to figure out if he’s the one by letting her boyfriend move in with her… but the reality is… it doesn’t matter how long she’s been with him.
When you think of that person today, do you feel excited about him or her every day?
When you think of a future together, do you care about whether or not he/she is in the picture?
When you look at the past together, do you look at it with fondness and gratefulness?
When you think of that person romantically and sexually, does your mind wander into wild happy naughty la la land?
All in all, do you feel at the same time cherished and grateful to have that person in your life?
I guess the saying is right. ”You’ll know when you find him or her”.
So let me ask you, how do you know if he or she is the one?
If you have been dating someone for a long time, is your relationship moving forward towards something or are you just wasting time because you are comfortable with each other?
There’s one thing we can’t teach you at David Wygant, it’s getting that feeling. But we CAN teach you to be honest with yourself, to be genuine, to be powerful and attractive to people… so that when you do meet the one, you’ll know.
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February 9th, 2010 at 5:48 pm
Really enjoyed this post. Another way you can tell if the woman you are with is really right for you, and that’s if you can picture yourselves living as elderly folk in the future, and still being together, loving each other. It’s a cliché sure, but the feelings are genuine.
February 10th, 2010 at 6:28 pm
Thanks man! I totally agree with you. When you can foresee a pleasant future with someone, it always gives you a warm fuzzy feeling inside.
March 25th, 2010 at 12:14 pm
Every woman which I lay my heart, I always think she’s the one.
That’s why it’s hard for me to play with heart with every woman I met. It’s kinda’ expensive..
March 26th, 2010 at 6:49 pm
Why do you think every woman you meet may be the one? It’s easy for us guys to get super excited by new women but maybe you should ask yourself: how does she deserve such honor in your life?