A few months back, David Wygant and I did a blog on what it meant to be a man. 

A lot of people responded very well to that article but we forgot to post part 2.

So today, I’m posting part 2 as I shared my own personal experience looking for role models as I transition from boyhood to manhood.

I’m sure a lot of you guys can relate to it. 

As originally posted on David Wygant’s blog:

Be A Man That Women Desire

About two weeks ago you read a blog about being a man, and what being a man is all about. Of course, now it’s another one of those late nights in my house – which, by the way, I’m looking for a bigger house now, because part of being a man is realizing that you have friends at your house all of the time and you want a playroom. Even though you’re a man, you still like to be a boy, and we tend to hang out so much in my office – I’d love to have a killer den and a guest room.

A lot of guys who take the Bootcamp come and stay with me, clients stay with me, and friends stay with me at my house. My ex-girlfriend Alison said to me the other night that my house is like Camp David. That’s pretty funny – I’m certainly NOT George Bush! – but I wouldn’t mind if my house was actually Camp David.

I like opening my home, I’ve always been about opening up my home to my friends. And it’s fun – I like having people over. I have a cool pad, great furniture, fun toys in my house, lots of computers for people to play on, and a killer dog that everybody likes to hang out with.

So we were talking a little bit more about being a man. A couple of weeks ago we talked about what I feel it is to be a man. Khiem wanted to add something that I thought was really fascinating…

Khiem: For me, I really enjoy talking about being a man, because it’s a topic that is not very widely or often discussed among boys and men nowadays. Society and your family expect you to be a man, but nobody ever really tells you how to be one.

Or, you’re taught: “don’t cry,” “be strong,” “be a man!” But what does that mean? How do you be tough? Does that mean that you become stoic and hide your emotions from everybody? Or does it mean that you can raise your emotions, but not let them effect you?

When I was young, I was always close to my dad, so I don’t have an issue with that, but I remember when I was 15 and older, he was always really absent in my life. Now, looking back, I realize it was a big void because in your late teens when you are maturing, how do you transition from a boy to man?

David: You know it’s interesting – when I grew up, my father was my anti-role model. I didn’t respect him. When I was growing up, we would play football in the backyard, and sometimes my dad would fade back to pass, or go over to the middle to catch something that one of my friends threw, and he was like 6’4” and not muscular at all, and I would go to tackle him and he’d break like the Leaning Tower of Pisa. You’d hear him tumble down.

(more…)

I love it when someone wants to write a guest post on my blog.

There are lot of guys out there who have something good to say about meeting women and they don’t all charge something for sharing their knowledge.

Today, I have Robert Z from www.MasteringTheArtOfAttraction.com wanting to talk about the mindset you should have when you approach a woman.  After talking with him by email, I learned to appreciate the maturity he has that only comes with age.  In his 40s, he has the experience to truly understand what guys go through when they are trying to learn to get better at this whole dating game.

Robert likes to focus on giving pragmatic advice on how shy guys can build up their self-esteem with strong inner game techniques.  He’s an advisor on Zan Perrion’s Natural Game forums so I’m more than happy to have him stop by to share his knowledge.  I’ve recently met Zan at the PUA Summit this year and I just love his work.

It’s always easy for someone to tell you what to do when you approach.  Say this, do that… but it’s harder to teach you the right vibe.

At the beginning, you might need to learn WHAT to say… but eventually, you should really focus more on HOW to say things and how you should perceive yourself and the woman in the situation at hand.  The way you deliver your lines and your body language projects a certain image, a certain vibe that once you get down pat, makes it SUPER easy to meet and attract people. 

You’d be surprised how people react to energy and vibe way more than words.

The funny thing is that vibe has to come from within.  You can very rarely fake it.  Even if (more…)

 

 Look Beyond Techniques [14:13m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download (86)

I’ve always wondered why it is so hard for people to be naked.

Are people afraid of nakedness, or are they afraid of being vulnerable?

Are we too critical of our own self-image? Can we not accept seeing ourselves “as is” with no pretentions?

Why do some women insist on being intimate with a man only in darkness?

Why are men so afraid of other men’s bodies?

I find this entire “naked” business very funny.

When you go to the beach in Europe, men and women of all ages wear skimpy outfits. Imagine grandpa in a speedo with his flabby gut hanging out. Imagine the woman with saggy boobs walking topless. There’s skin showing everywhere. It’s not always pretty but over there, it’s not a big deal.

Here, in the U.S., someone would call out foul play and indecency.

Ewwww… Gross!

What’s so gross about a human body?

Why are YOU not comfortable with nakedness?

More importantly, are YOU comfortable with YOUR OWN nakedness?

I see it a lot in the pickup/dating industry. There are a lot of guys (and girls for that matter) with insecurities. They aren’t comfortable with themselves. They aren’t happy with who they are. They aren’t happy with how they look. They aren’t happy with their lives and they look for that external validation to tell them that they are okay, that someone loves them.

They look for that external validation by chasing money, by chasing unhealthy relationships, by chasing sex, by chasing empty dreams, etc and that’s why they can’t meet and connect with someone of the opposite sex.

That’s why they can’t get laid.

I was there. I understand. I was confused.

Being naked is the epitome of being comfortable with yourself. When you can look at yourself in the mirror - naked and vulnerable - without the urge of looking away, (more…)

 

 Be Naked [27:54m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download (61)