I love it when someone wants to write a guest post on my blog.

There are lot of guys out there who have something good to say about meeting women and they don’t all charge something for sharing their knowledge.

Today, I have Robert Z from www.MasteringTheArtOfAttraction.com wanting to talk about the mindset you should have when you approach a woman.  After talking with him by email, I learned to appreciate the maturity he has that only comes with age.  In his 40s, he has the experience to truly understand what guys go through when they are trying to learn to get better at this whole dating game.

Robert likes to focus on giving pragmatic advice on how shy guys can build up their self-esteem with strong inner game techniques.  He’s an advisor on Zan Perrion’s Natural Game forums so I’m more than happy to have him stop by to share his knowledge.  I’ve recently met Zan at the PUA Summit this year and I just love his work.

It’s always easy for someone to tell you what to do when you approach.  Say this, do that… but it’s harder to teach you the right vibe.

At the beginning, you might need to learn WHAT to say… but eventually, you should really focus more on HOW to say things and how you should perceive yourself and the woman in the situation at hand.  The way you deliver your lines and your body language projects a certain image, a certain vibe that once you get down pat, makes it SUPER easy to meet and attract people. 

You’d be surprised how people react to energy and vibe way more than words.

The funny thing is that vibe has to come from within.  You can very rarely fake it.  Even if (more…)

 

 Look Beyond Techniques [14:13m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download (86)

I’ve always wondered why it is so hard for people to be naked.

Are people afraid of nakedness, or are they afraid of being vulnerable?

Are we too critical of our own self-image? Can we not accept seeing ourselves “as is” with no pretentions?

Why do some women insist on being intimate with a man only in darkness?

Why are men so afraid of other men’s bodies?

I find this entire “naked” business very funny.

When you go to the beach in Europe, men and women of all ages wear skimpy outfits. Imagine grandpa in a speedo with his flabby gut hanging out. Imagine the woman with saggy boobs walking topless. There’s skin showing everywhere. It’s not always pretty but over there, it’s not a big deal.

Here, in the U.S., someone would call out foul play and indecency.

Ewwww… Gross!

What’s so gross about a human body?

Why are YOU not comfortable with nakedness?

More importantly, are YOU comfortable with YOUR OWN nakedness?

I see it a lot in the pickup/dating industry. There are a lot of guys (and girls for that matter) with insecurities. They aren’t comfortable with themselves. They aren’t happy with who they are. They aren’t happy with how they look. They aren’t happy with their lives and they look for that external validation to tell them that they are okay, that someone loves them.

They look for that external validation by chasing money, by chasing unhealthy relationships, by chasing sex, by chasing empty dreams, etc and that’s why they can’t meet and connect with someone of the opposite sex.

That’s why they can’t get laid.

I was there. I understand. I was confused.

Being naked is the epitome of being comfortable with yourself. When you can look at yourself in the mirror - naked and vulnerable - without the urge of looking away, (more…)

 

 Be Naked [27:54m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download (61)

A couple weeks ago, a girl I really liked and I “broke up”. 

We never really dated. 

We’ve been friends for a year and a half.  We started our friendship with a very hot makeout but life happens and we never managed to see each other much.

On the day we “broke up”, she told me very harsh words via texts.  Somehow, I wasn’t phased. I saw these words for what they were:  a mere reflection of her own confused emotional state.

I was sad… not because I didn’t get the girl, not because I lost a friend.  I was sad because she couldn’t see how much she had.  She had so much potential and beauty but oftentimes, she would look for outside validation to make herself feel better instead of truly believing in herself. 

I was sad that on many occasions, she behaved a certain way because she didn’t know better.

Yesterday, I went to meet up with some friends to play golf.  I arrived an hour late (I didn’t sleep very much the night before).  I didn’t know what I was doing but I walked on the golf course directly to hole #3 to see my friends.  I didn’t know I couldn’t walk on like that.  I didn’t even pay. 

As I started walking towards my friends, people were yelling at me from afar to tell me something.  I looked back without really understanding what people wanted and kept on walking.  I was unphased by the commotion and social pressure around me.

My friend couldn’t believe what I just did.  He said I was “Gangsta” for walking in like that.

A week and a half ago, I got into a car accident.

I was driving straight when the other car trying to turn left hit me on my driver side, rear wheel.  My car spun almost 180 degrees and I came to a complete stop on the side of the curb, facing back traffic.

Throughout the entire experience, I saw everything move in slow motion.  I wasn’t afraid.  I wasn’t panicked.  I knew what to do.

A few days ago, my insurance deemed my car as “total loss”.  The damages were too heavy for repairs when considering how many miles my car had.  I have to buy a new car now.  The other insurance hasn’t accepted liability yet either.  My rental car may not get paid by the insurance.  What it translates to is…

I have a lot of uncertainty floating around in my life at this moment.  I am faced with potentially new financial stress.

But I am calm.

How do YOU react to the pressures in your life?  When faced with unexpected situations, how do you handle negative or overwhelming emotions?

Jealousy, anger, fear, anxiety, pain, feelings of inadequacy, strong urge to feel loved, racism, embarrassment…

These are all emotions that will test your emotional strength and character.

These are also emotions that will arise when a woman teases you or as the Seduction Community calls it “shit tests” you.

As men, we are taught to be unreactive… almost to the point of stoicism.  In hopes of being strong, I learned to hide my emotions.  That’s what I thought being strong meant.  That’s what I believed for a long time. 

Don’t show your emotions.  It’s weak.

I became afraid of feeing sad, angry, scared… etc because I thought showing emotions meant I was weak.

I was wrong.  Emotions are what makes me feel alive.  They are what makes me feel strong.  I can’t run away from them and I shouldn’t have to hide them.  Instead, I need to embrace them.

But as much as I embrace them because they make me feel alive, I don’t let my emotions control me.   (more…)

 

 Emotional Strength [12:22m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download (95)