So I am one day late. 

I wanted to publish this post yesterday but Yakub is taking all of my time.  I just dropped him off at the airport so that he can finally go home to Virginia. 

Pfffeew, what a fun couple of weeks I’ve had with him.

If you don’t have a cool buddy to do fun crazy things with, I highly recommend you find yourself one.  I don’t mean a good buddy to play video games or sit around at home with but a seriously awesome guy you can hang out and play around with.  Hmmm… that didn’t sound right. 

I meant you should find yourself a super chill guy with whom you can fuck around when you two are meeting and talking to the people you see in your daily routine.  You want a guy who’s at the same level as you socially or better… or you want a guy with whom you feel energized by.

Yakub is one of those guys who just make me want to do more in my life.  We are always daring each other on stupid stuff and we push each other’s boundaries.  In all honesty, sometimes I hate him.  He’s always making fun of me but so am I.  What can I say… it’s a love/hate relationship

We actually got new nicknames for each other.  We’re the new Harold and Kumar!  Some girl we were talking to at Whole Foods gave those to us because we were such screwballs on the day I was wearing that “BIG PENIS” t-shirt.

Anyway, one of the things I love most about meeting people is learning from their experiences. 

It is fascinating for me to listen to someone talk about what made them succeed in life or what made them one way or another.  Last week, one of David Wygant’s clients came into town and all we did was go around town to shop with him while listening to his life stories and countless jokes.

Let me tell you:  this particular client was an experience of his own.  I have never learned so much from someone by just hanging out with him for 2 days.  He obviously was successful in his business.  He made plenty enough of money to not worry about his spending habits but what struck me the most was not his ridiculous generosity but his lifestyle. 

The way he leads his life is that he creates and lives his very own fantasy.  No matter where he goes, he thinks of entertaining himself first.  He creates his own situations and his own memories.  He jokes around with people, he plays with them… sometimes he give them gifts because he likes to show them that anything is possible.  He likes to create the unexpected in people’s lives. 

He absolutely has no social fear.  He has no sense of social boundary.

It’s very inspiring.

David actually nicknamed him Santa Claus.  It’s pretty funny actually because it’s so accurate!

Most of us are afraid of standing out.  We want to be unique but we are afraid of not fitting in so we play it safe most of our lives.  After watching him, I realized even more that the real fun is when you create your own rules.  You CAN live your own fantasy if you want to.  No one can judge you if you are doing the things you love and enjoy, even when it’s “out of the norm”. 

If people can’t accept you the way you are, they will weed themselves out of your life.  The one who stays are the one you want around in the first place.  They are the ones that will make you an even better, an even more interesting person.

Personally, his ability to create good energy and have fun anywhere was mind boggling.  Everything he did came from a place of making himself happy first, even in his dealings with women.  He obviously cared about women and gave a lot of himself to them but it always came second to his own happiness.

If the Community was to look at the way he gives to others, the Community would probably consider his overly generous behavior as supplicative but in all honesty, he did not come across supplicative at all.  Everything he did, he did from a place of authenticity, a place of personal power… and THAT was very attractive about him.

Parts of the Community teach guys to put people down with negs or tell you that it’s bad to give too much to people.  If you were a recovering “nice guy”, I can see why you should abide by those rules for a while but eventually, as you learn to find what your boundaries and deal breakers are as a man, it’s okay to give… as long as you do it for your own happiness’s sake and from a place of self-respect.

 

 Live Your Own Fantasy [11:38m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download (76)

By the way, to download the podcast onto your computer, right click and choose “save target as…” if you don’t want a new browser window to pop up.

I feel bad.  I haven’t written a lot on the blog recently but it’s not because I don’t want to.  I just have been busy.  Yakub came to visit me and David for the past week and I’ve been taking him around, showing him the good life we have in CA.

If you haven’t noticed, I’ve been working with David Wygant a bit more lately.  So a couple of my most recent posts have been published on his blog instead of mine.  I’ll repost them here sometimes this week.

In the meantime, David, Yakub and I had some really good conversations this past Saturday on what it means to be a man.  What does it mean to be a strong man?  What does it mean to be attractive and desired by women? 

I personally think that the topic of “being a man” is not discussed very often.  As boys, we are told and we are expected to “be a man” but we are never really taught HOW to be one.  We are told to stand up for ourselves and to be independent.

All I remember as a kid were vague “don’t cry”, “be strong” from the various father figures in my life.   But how do you learn to be strong?  How do you learn to be self-reliant?  How do you learn to be an attractive man?

Women, on the other hand, learn to confide in each other.  They share their inner fears and demons to one another.  By discussing them, they learn how to become a woman.  Men on the other hand usually don’t ask each other for help.  We deal with problems on our own. It would be un-manly to ask someone for assistance.

So for the first time here, David, Yakub and I decide to sit down and discuss openly how we feel about being a man.  I hope you enjoy it.

For me, being a man is similar to being a bamboo tree. You are to be grounded and strong but you can bend to the weather calamities at will without ever breaking. That supple core strength is what makes you a “strong” man.