A couple weeks ago, a girl I really liked and I “broke up”. 

We never really dated. 

We’ve been friends for a year and a half.  We started our friendship with a very hot makeout but life happens and we never managed to see each other much.

On the day we “broke up”, she told me very harsh words via texts.  Somehow, I wasn’t phased. I saw these words for what they were:  a mere reflection of her own confused emotional state.

I was sad… not because I didn’t get the girl, not because I lost a friend.  I was sad because she couldn’t see how much she had.  She had so much potential and beauty but oftentimes, she would look for outside validation to make herself feel better instead of truly believing in herself. 

I was sad that on many occasions, she behaved a certain way because she didn’t know better.

Yesterday, I went to meet up with some friends to play golf.  I arrived an hour late (I didn’t sleep very much the night before).  I didn’t know what I was doing but I walked on the golf course directly to hole #3 to see my friends.  I didn’t know I couldn’t walk on like that.  I didn’t even pay. 

As I started walking towards my friends, people were yelling at me from afar to tell me something.  I looked back without really understanding what people wanted and kept on walking.  I was unphased by the commotion and social pressure around me.

My friend couldn’t believe what I just did.  He said I was “Gangsta” for walking in like that.

A week and a half ago, I got into a car accident.

I was driving straight when the other car trying to turn left hit me on my driver side, rear wheel.  My car spun almost 180 degrees and I came to a complete stop on the side of the curb, facing back traffic.

Throughout the entire experience, I saw everything move in slow motion.  I wasn’t afraid.  I wasn’t panicked.  I knew what to do.

A few days ago, my insurance deemed my car as “total loss”.  The damages were too heavy for repairs when considering how many miles my car had.  I have to buy a new car now.  The other insurance hasn’t accepted liability yet either.  My rental car may not get paid by the insurance.  What it translates to is…

I have a lot of uncertainty floating around in my life at this moment.  I am faced with potentially new financial stress.

But I am calm.

How do YOU react to the pressures in your life?  When faced with unexpected situations, how do you handle negative or overwhelming emotions?

Jealousy, anger, fear, anxiety, pain, feelings of inadequacy, strong urge to feel loved, racism, embarrassment…

These are all emotions that will test your emotional strength and character.

These are also emotions that will arise when a woman teases you or as the Seduction Community calls it “shit tests” you.

As men, we are taught to be unreactive… almost to the point of stoicism.  In hopes of being strong, I learned to hide my emotions.  That’s what I thought being strong meant.  That’s what I believed for a long time. 

Don’t show your emotions.  It’s weak.

I became afraid of feeing sad, angry, scared… etc because I thought showing emotions meant I was weak.

I was wrong.  Emotions are what makes me feel alive.  They are what makes me feel strong.  I can’t run away from them and I shouldn’t have to hide them.  Instead, I need to embrace them.

But as much as I embrace them because they make me feel alive, I don’t let my emotions control me.   Read the rest of this entry »

 

 Emotional Strength [12:22m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download (105)

…you know how to entertain yourself!!!

If you don’t know how to have fun at the club, don’t go. 

Or if you want to be good at club game, then take some time to learn how the social dynamics at a club or at a bar works. 

It’s really not that hard.

Let me spell it out for you.  H-A-V-E   F-U-N.

Clubs and bars are just places for you to be social and retarded at the same time.  The real “seduction” game is always done in isolation, when you are 1-on-1 with the girl.

Whenever I go to the club (and I don’t go that often), I always see 2 kinds of guys:

1. the wall flower
2. the hunter

The wall flower is the guy who hopes to meet someone but for some reason, he’s too scared to talk to anyone.  Something is blocking him.  He wants to meet someone so bad that he inadvertently puts immense pressure on himself and psyches himself out… so there he stands, on the sideline, admiring everyone walking by.

I can relate to the wall flower guy.  I used to be one of them.  Either the music is too loud and I didn’t think the woman would hear me so I didn’t approach, or the girl is too hot and I get intimidated, or I would think too hard and get all self-conscious because i thought everyone would look at me if I tried to approach a girl or if I went on the dance floor.  I didn’t want to embarrass myself.  I would go to the club because all my friends were going but deep inside, I hated it because i didn’t know how have fun there.

Then there’s the hunter.  The hunter wants sex so bad that he’ll prey on any person in heels.  Some of the Pick-Up Artists (PUAs) I know are hunters.  Some of the natural guys I know are hunters too.  The good thing about hunters is that they have no fear.  They are super goal-oriented (because they want to get laid) and they can just walk up to the girl without thinking twice.  They go after what they want.  They appeal to girls because they seem confident.  

Do they get any play?  Sure they do because it’s a numbers game. 

The bad thing about hunters is… by the end of the night, they might have creeped half the club out.  They are also not always good at connecting with women.  They are going after a goal so they forget to truly be present and they forget to fully connect with and appreciate the woman in front of them.  A lot of the hunters are somewhat insecure too.  They need the validation of “getting the girl” to feel good about themselves.  I guess in some weird ways, they are needy.

If I had to choose between the two of them, I’d prefer hanging out with the hunters.  They are fun!  No matter what they do, no matter how the situation turns out, it’s always something to remember later on.  They don’t care how they are perceived so they are hilarious to watch and make fun of.

However, I lied to you.  There is a third type of guy that you can see at the club.  This is the kind of guy I hope I am.  This is the guy who I would ALWAYS pick to hang out with over the wall flower and the hunter.

3.  the cool guy

The cool guy is the kind of guy who knows how to have fun.  He brings the fun to everyone so people always want to be around him, women included.  He’s not overly boisterous, obnoxious, sexual or even creepy like the hunter.  He is just socially savvy.  When the time comes, he knows what to do to get the girl.

He doesn’t try too hard to impress anyone but he knows how to connect and make others feel special.  He lifts people up.  He’s usually a leader in his social circle and people respect his opinion.  When you hang out with him, everything seems to flow naturally.  You always have a good time when around him.

EVERY man wants to be the cool guy.  We want to be that guy that radiates of fun, warm, masculine and friendly energy.  EVERY Pick-Up Artist hopes to be the cool guy who gets the girl.

The funny thing is… you CAN’T PRACTICE being a cool guy.  You either are or you are not.  You can’t open hundreds of “sets” to learn to be attractive.  You have to BE the cool guy. 

So how do you BECOME the cool guy?  Read the rest of this entry »

Let me ask you.

Do you believe in yourself?

Do you believe that by the sheer fact of being a man, you can attract women?

Do you believe that attracting quality women involves things beyond using pickup lines, routines or techniques?

Do you know HOW to develop that inner strength and confidence that makes you attractive in all situations?

I just finished reading Vin DiCarlo’s new e-book The Attraction Code and I want to tell you that this is one of the best pieces of writing I have read from the Seduction Community (and I’ve read a lot!).  If you think I’m exaggerating or creating hype, then you aren’t ready to understand.

I’m going to be honest.  Most people reading his e-book are NOT going to get it (at least, not right away).  They might not even understand the deeper stuff yet either.

In this e-book, Vin is not going to give you pickup techniques for you to practice.  If you are looking for that, get your hands on his other products or someone else’s products.  He does allude to some very powerful techniques but you’ll have to read in between the lines to see that.

What Vin describes in The Attraction Code is how to think to create changes in your life.  He gives you a certain way of thinking about attraction.  How should you think about yourself to change how the world reacts to you?  How does perceptions affect the way you see people and vice versa?

What are the behaviors that make people inexplicably drawn to you?

How should you feel about yourself so that you can radiate that calm yet magnetizing energy?

What is attraction?

Attraction is not what you do to a woman; it is what you cause her mind to do when you’re with her and in your absence.

I’ve talked to a lot friends from within and outside the Community and once you practice a discipline long enough, it becomes an art form.  It becomes an art form because at some point, you have to face and shed your insecurities or shortcomings in order to excel in your discipline of choice.

Vin has reached that higher level of consciousness where meeting and picking up women has become an art form.  He’s reached that place where he can express himself naturally and freely.  He free flows.

That’s what The Attraction Code is about.  It is about knowing how to reach that state where you can free flow with your ability to attract women.  Read the rest of this entry »