I’ve been meaning to start a series of articles that takes a humorous angle on sex.  No matter how good you are… or how bad… sex is really funny sometimes!

If you are new to my blog, you should definitely read my Kill The Mood Please blog as well as my Most Unlikely Orgasm for Men blog.  I promise you, you’ll never look at sex the same way!  If anything, it will give you a good laugh and put you in a good mood for the weekend

Today, I don’t have a funny sex story for you but I was browsing some of my old documents for inspiration and I came across this nice little write-up that an ex-girlfriend of mine wrote a while back.  I won’t tell you if any of it was inspired by me or not but in either case, you’ll get the benefit of it!  So here it is, in all its glory, for your titillating reading pleasures.

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A lot of men want to be great lovers but they never take the time to ask the woman if they are satisfied with their love making skills.

Women like to have all their senses stimulated.  It’s how you touch her and caress her, how you talk to her and build a connection, how you look at her, how you whisper to her, how you can create and build up desire and affection.  I can’t tell you how many times I have been disappointed in bed by selfish lovers. [Editor's note:  or emotionless lovers]

Men assume that having sex only involves minimal foreplay and go straight to fucking… which usually lasts about 5 to 10 minutes.  It’s just a release for them.  For most women, that’s not even enough to have a (good) orgasm.  Men need to take the time to stimulate the woman’s senses and imagination.

I had an ex-boyfriend who would only be interested in sex for one round, maybe two.  We’d get to business and once he was done, he wasn’t interested in more.  I was just starting to get into it!  It was so frustrating…

I would recommend at least 20 minutes with foreplay which involves kissing, oral pleasure, or even something playful like feathers and blindfolds.  If you really want to get more playful, you can try whipped cream and chocolate syrup to lick off of each other.  Just have fun!  Get creative with it!

After foreplay, don’t immediately start fucking her.  You need to build anticipation so she can have a bigger, stronger (maybe longer) orgasm.  Make her want more.  Tease her a bit with the tip of your dick against her pussy and slowly insert the tip… but not going in all the way.  Slowly insert the tip about 7 to 8 times and then, Read the rest of this entry »

Every guy who had to learn how to be more social, more charming has asked me this one question.  Every time, I try to give as thoughtful of an answer as I can but today, let me answer it once and for all and give the question as much thought as possible.

My biggest problem with a girl is running out of things to say and telling stories, keeping the conversation interesting. It’s a broad question, I know, but any advice?

Keeping the conversation going  essentially boils down to your mastery of two things:

• your listening skills
• your relating skills

For some of you guys, when you talk to a woman you are attracted to, you run out of things to say because you are not actually listening to her.  Instead of enjoying her company, paying attention to her and staying in the moment with her, you let your mind race at 200 miles an hour because you are either trying to anticipate what she’s going to say next or trying to say something clever, witty or funny to impress her.

So the first thing you need to do is slow down.  Get curious about her, get curious about what she’s talking about.  Listen for those key portal words.  When I’m talking to a woman, I personally look for which topics trigger the most powerful emotions in her (passion, excitement, happiness, fear…) and for which topics interest or intrigue me the most (common interest or even my own personal curiosity on a particular subject matter) because that’s where I’ll lead the conversation to next.

I want the woman to feel and attach strong emotions when she’s around me.

Typically, you don’t want to enter the conversation trying to impress the woman.  When you are trying to impress her, you are sub-communicating that you don’t feel worthy of her, not good enough for her.  That mindset comes from a place of insecurity and does not make you look confident… which in turns, is not very attractive to most women.

Your relating skills comes from your ability to share yourself through storytelling.  A lot of guys think they have nothing to say to a woman when in reality, they have many years worth of opinions, experiences and adventures to share.  How old are you now?  26…?  Well, that’s 26 years worth of things to talk about!

Anything in your life can be turned into a story, whether it’s your grocery shopping list or your latest spontaneous mishap.  I personally believe that most people are afraid of opening up not because they didn’t think of doing it as much as they were afraid of being negatively judged.

I say… let people judge you!  When someone judges you, it’s more a reflection of who they are rather than who you are.  You can learn a lot more about someone by watching how they react to you rather than what they tell you.  Yes, even in conversations, actions speak louder than words.

The key to making your conversation interesting and unique is to focus on Read the rest of this entry »

People must be liking the new direction I’m taking with the blog.

Today, inspired by my “First Impressions” series of blogs (first couple stories are here and here), Donnie wants to share a personal story.  He is going to talk about how to not let the monkey chatter cloud your mind and make the best out of your first few interactions with someone.

If you have a an insightful and entertaining story you want to share that truly speaks of how people really think while dating or socializing, email me.  I don’t think you need “gurus” to show you how to date better.  When it comes to improving your chances at meeting and attracting the people you want in your life, I believe we can all learn from each other if we shared more of our experiences with one another.

And Kiss N’ Tale is the place for you to do that!

Right now, the series is about “first impressions” or “first love/lust.”  I also would love people to write about bad sex, interracial dating or being too much of a nice guy.

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Have I been wrong all along?  Back track to a few months ago, to when I was just starting to open myself up and really put myself out there to meet people, everything I saw was what I believed to be real.

I’d work myself up the courage to go and talk to the cute girl behind the counter at the coffee shop and rather than just placing my order, I would talk to her and see what she is all about.  We’d have a good fun conversation that would last for a good few minutes depending on how many people were in line (usually I went up when there was no line) or until I had exhausted the conversation and felt like I had left a good impression.

So what happened the next time I saw her?

I’d walk into the coffee shop and I’d instantly look to see if she was working that day.  When I saw her and she’d look up at me and then look back at what she was doing, all I could think about was:  “Did I creep her out?” “Does she not remember me?” “Should I just leave?”.  Explosions of monkey chatter would go off in my head when in reality, she was just working and being focused on her job, nothing personal.

Do you find yourself “expecting” things from women?  When you think about it, how many times have you not talked to a girl because she didn’t show immediate bubbly enthusiasm that you were in her presence?

What you see is not what you always get. Read the rest of this entry »