I always love a good PUA story.

As much time as PUAs spend on learning advanced social and dating skills, they aren’t always so subtle (or good) when they are talking to women.

I can always smell them!

Last month, I went with David Wygant to the PUA Summit 2009 in Hollywood for his talk.  I knew that if I brought my girflriend, I might have to protect her from guys oogling at her… or worse, from guys trying to practice their recently learned techniques on her.  Nonetheless, I decided to take her along.

I’ve told her about the Seduction Community before.  She’s never seen anything Community related so she was pretty excited to discover what this whole movement was about.

As I arrived at the Renaissance hotel, I started scanning the room for familiar faces.  There were quite a lot more people this time around that I didn’t know.  I guess that’s what happens when I don’t actively keep in touch with people in the Community.  I definitely wasn’t familiar with some of the speakers listed on the schedule.

We entered the room quietly in the middle of Adam Lyon’s speech and sat in the back.  I love Adam!  I think the world of him.  He and his wife Amanda are the nicest people.  I wish I’d get to see them more often but as much as I like him, I didn’t like his speech as much as the other years.  As a speaker, he’s absolutely fantastic!  He always wow the crowd with his humor and stories.  What I didn’t like was his message (at least the part of the message I caught).

In his talk, he explained to the guys how you can almost guarantee success in transitioning to sex with a woman by justifying your every move… even if it didn’t completely make logical sense.  As long as you give a seemingly valid reason to why you are doing this or that with her, why you are leading her somewhere, she will follow.

From a psychological perspective, that’s pretty interesting!  It shows you that people don’t really think for themselves that much.  As long as what you are doing makes some sense and that you do it with enough conviction, people will just follow.  Honestly, it’s kind of scary to me.  It just shows me how stupid we really are as human beings, but oh well…

The reason I didn’t like his message is simple.

In my world, if you are a powerful and genuine guy who kind of embodies the lover for women, you don’t have to justify anything!  Sex with you just happens (or so that’s what women say)!  It feels like a fairy tale.  For them, being with you feels natural and right.  It just happens because you understand how women get turned on.  You understand that women love the idea of being swept away… and YOU are that guy who lets them live their own romantic comedy or sexual fantasy through you!

If you have to justify anything to her, you probably didn’t do a good job at making her feel (more…)

The more I help people on bootcamps, the more I realize I enjoy coaching.  

Most of the time, I don’t end up coaching a whole lot of technical stuff.  Most of the bootcamps I help on are “natural game” focused anyways and as such, I usually talk a lot about mindsets, beliefs and perceptions.

The interesting part for me is to see that most of these students that come to bootcamps are REALLY good guys.  They are typically successful in their own rights in whichever areas they pursue but because of the focus society puts on us to become performance driven machines, they have forgotten to develop their (inter)personal skills.

All these guys are kind of like me in some ways.  At one point in their life, they forgot how to just enjoy the little moments, how to be present with someone, how to actively listen and carry a conversation.  They forgot how to truly listen to their own desires and how to have fun.

I know I talk a lot about the Seduction Community and its various facets but in the natural game side of things, very few people aspire to be Pick-Up Artists (PUAs).  They definitely want to meet a lot of women like the Pick-Up Artists do.  They definitely want to have more choice in the quality of women too but very few of them ever consider themselves a PUA. 

They don’t really approach women with a hunting mindset.  They usually think of developing themselves to be able to attract the women they want and for me, they truly embody the abundance mentality.

Most natural guys I have met are absolutely okay with (more…)

Bootcamps are always an interesting affair. 

From a student/client’s perspective, you are there to absorb as much as you can, see how things are done in-field and you hope that you get enough 1-on-1 attention to kick your game up a notch even though… this is just the beginning for you.

From an instructor’s perspective, bootcamps are always hard work.  If you care for your clients/students, you make sure they are learning and improving under your watch but you also want to make sure they are having a good time.  Sometimes, you have to sacrifice your own fun to make sure the student/client is doing ok.  Sometimes, you have enough good instructors with you that you can afford to get a little enjoyment yourself while on the job.

Overall, it takes a lot of energy out of you if you are an instructor.  Everyone learns at a different pace.  Give the students/clients too much theory and they get bored.  Give them too little role play, not enough drills and too few exercises and they don’t internalize the concept.  In field, if you don’t walk them through the process at first and if you don’t give them enough personal attention, they feel lost.

By the end of a bootcamp, I want a client/student to gain enough social awareness so that he can navigate any social interactions with confidence.  If he can do that, he shouldn’t have too much trouble attracting more women in his life afterwards and if he can follow-up with these women… [smile]

So this past weekend, I agreed to help Adam Lyons run his very first U.S. bootcamp alongside Johnny Wolf and Adam’s girlfriend Amanda.  We had 4 students coming in and we had 4 instructors. 

Let me tell you, the weekend turned out to be one of the most fun bootcamp I’ve ever participated in.  I’m not sure if I can credit this to Amanda as she brought balance to this highly testosteroned environment or if it was because… when you hang out with truly exceptional guys, whatever you do always turns out fun.  (more…)