I love my guy friends.  There are things that I can talk to them that I can’t talk with other guys.  They are the types of guys that not only know when to give me a gentle pat on the back when I feel down but who also know when to challenge me when they think I’m not being the best me.

Anyone dating them should feel lucky to be with them.  What I love most about them is that they are extremely self-aware, which makes them great socially and in relationships… but they are go-getters too.  They aren’t afraid of going after what they want… and it reflects in their dating lives too.

All my close guy friends date actively.  When they do date, they don’t have much problem attracting women but what is fascinating to me is what we divulge to each other when we discuss how we know a woman is just for fun… or when she actually means more to us than “just having fun.”

One of my friends and clients got married this past weekend too!  It was a b-e-a-u-t-i-f-u-l wedding.  If there is one thing I learned from that wedding, it’d be this:  Indian people know how to celebrate… and… I now know why they are so good at bargaining lol.

So without much fanfare, here’s my list of how you know when you’ve met the right woman:

1. She makes you hungry for more.  Because of her, you want to achieve so much more…  You are not only thinking about yourself anymore, you are thinking for two.
2. You go home tired but seeing your woman relieves the temporary stress you feel.  Just a few  words of encouragement from her are enough to get you ready to fight another day.
3. You feel unstoppable because she believes in you like no one else before… which sometimes actually scares you a little.
4. Even though she believes in you, she’s not afraid to challenge you too.  She helps you see the world (or yourself) in ways you sometimes haven’t thought of.  She’s not just your biggest supporter and cheerleader, she’s at all times your most respected and beloved equal.
5. You realize that ultimately (and just like you), she’s in no way flawless but she’s plenty perfect for you.  There are always other women out there but she’s the one you like and want; she’s the one you want to create something with.  The depth of intimacy and connection you already have with her is something you couldn’t recreate or have with someone else.
6. As cliche a it sounds, she actually makes you a better man.  Things you wouldn’t tolerate with others, you can tolerate with her.  Things you wouldn’t tolerate in others, you can tolerate in her.
7. Everything you do with her is fun.  It doesn’t mean that you or her don’t struggle or argue from time to time, but everything you do is easier and more fun because she’s with you.
8. People actually see you happier.  When you are together, you both kind of glow and radiate together.
9. You can actually imagine yourself growing with her, not just growing old with her, but growing as a person with her.  You not only like… but want her by your side, every step of the way.
10. You understand that even if it doesn’t work out for whatever reason, you have faith that it will.  But if it was to not work out, be it death or break-up/divorce, you wouldn’t have had it any other way.  You have and had much more to cherish with her than without her.
11. Every time you look at her, you think to yourself:  ”Wow, she’s so hot!”
12. Aside from you fantasizing of the naughtiest things you could do to her, you’ve actually thought of the kind of Mom she could be to your kids.
13. You actually feel like you’d want to give her the moon, oh wait… isn’t that called a diamond nowadays?

As you finish reading this list, I invite you to add your own bullet points in the comments section.  How do you know when a woman is right for you?

I’m also very curious about the woman’s perspective too.  I would like to believe that women can this list as their own but I invite them to share their thoughts too.  How do you know when you’ve met the man of your dream?

Last week, I didn’t make a podcast because I was out of town traveling to San Francisco.

To make up for it, I decided I’d do a video interview instead this week!  Yay!!!

A few years ago, I watched a neat YouTube video called “Yellow Fever” from Wong Fu Productions.  It was touching and hard to watch at the same time because the main character shared thoughts that I used to have many years ago.  Truth is… I don’t think anyone ought to think like that and I know that you can date whoever you want, regardless of race.

It’s time to forget stereotypes and show what real Asian males think of dating in a multi-cutural environment.

Watch “Yellow Fever” first…

Then watch me interview my friend Kai on his experience with dating women from all over the world.

Lots of more fun stuff are coming up so stay tuned!

As usual, if you want to share a story about your experiences dating or wants to be interviewed, email me.  I’m currently looking among other things for women who want to make fun of guys and bad sex, Asian guys who wants to talk about dating interracially.

As usual, I’m also open for ideas so ask and comment away!

Was that a routine?

It goes without saying that I’ve explored a lot of the Pickup Artist Community in the past few years.  I’ve met a lot of PUAs, read countless books, e-books, watched more videos than I would care to remember and listened to more podcasts that you’d want to in a lifetime.

Even though I no longer study the Seduction Community, I still get the occasional question asking me for my opinion on various gurus, their teaching styles and whether I believe more in natural game or routines.

On the topic of the efficacy of routines, one guru wrote the following to the guy who reached out for my opinion:

ANYONE who tells you not to use routines does not know what they are talking about.  Routines work the best.  Natural game will never be anywhere near as good.  It’s for guys with small comfort zones who are too pussy to try the shit that actually works.  Do the shit that works.  If your comfort zone is too small, then GROW IT BIGGER.  Do not work with shitty methods that fit into your narrow idea of what is “acceptable.”

“Natural game” as taught by the community does not even resemble the game of actual naturals.  Actual naturals say the same things every time.  They are basically using self-scripted routines.  Sometimes they even lift material from other guys they know or from movies or whatever.  Real naturals are basically doing canned game all the time.

“Natural game” as taught by the community is just a reaction against the earlier, more effective methods.  It’s an outgrowth of retarded community politics and the ego clashes of self absorbed gurus.  They care more about “reinventing the game” and “making their mark” than they do about the success of the students.  It’s also an easier sell, because students are too pussy and they think they can get laid by doing the same weak shit they’ve always done and just “being themselves.”  Haha what a joke.  Being yourself doesn’t work at all when “yourself” is devoid of personality, dominance, identity and anything that would attract a female.

So the authors write ebooks that are easier to sell, but the methods don’t work.  It’s a sucky situation, because natural game has become trendy, and tons of guys are now failing with it.

That’s why in <guru program> we toughen you up and grow your comfort zone with material that takes a lot of balls, instead of being complicit accomplices to you remaining a pussy for the rest of your life.

Here’s my response to the guy who asked for my opinion: (more…)