A few months back, David Wygant and I did a blog on what it meant to be a man. 

A lot of people responded very well to that article but we forgot to post part 2.

So today, I’m posting part 2 as I shared my own personal experience looking for role models as I transition from boyhood to manhood.

I’m sure a lot of you guys can relate to it. 

As originally posted on David Wygant’s blog:

Be A Man That Women Desire

About two weeks ago you read a blog about being a man, and what being a man is all about. Of course, now it’s another one of those late nights in my house – which, by the way, I’m looking for a bigger house now, because part of being a man is realizing that you have friends at your house all of the time and you want a playroom. Even though you’re a man, you still like to be a boy, and we tend to hang out so much in my office – I’d love to have a killer den and a guest room.

A lot of guys who take the Bootcamp come and stay with me, clients stay with me, and friends stay with me at my house. My ex-girlfriend Alison said to me the other night that my house is like Camp David. That’s pretty funny – I’m certainly NOT George Bush! – but I wouldn’t mind if my house was actually Camp David.

I like opening my home, I’ve always been about opening up my home to my friends. And it’s fun – I like having people over. I have a cool pad, great furniture, fun toys in my house, lots of computers for people to play on, and a killer dog that everybody likes to hang out with.

So we were talking a little bit more about being a man. A couple of weeks ago we talked about what I feel it is to be a man. Khiem wanted to add something that I thought was really fascinating…

Khiem: For me, I really enjoy talking about being a man, because it’s a topic that is not very widely or often discussed among boys and men nowadays. Society and your family expect you to be a man, but nobody ever really tells you how to be one.

Or, you’re taught: “don’t cry,” “be strong,” “be a man!” But what does that mean? How do you be tough? Does that mean that you become stoic and hide your emotions from everybody? Or does it mean that you can raise your emotions, but not let them effect you?

When I was young, I was always close to my dad, so I don’t have an issue with that, but I remember when I was 15 and older, he was always really absent in my life. Now, looking back, I realize it was a big void because in your late teens when you are maturing, how do you transition from a boy to man?

David: You know it’s interesting – when I grew up, my father was my anti-role model. I didn’t respect him. When I was growing up, we would play football in the backyard, and sometimes my dad would fade back to pass, or go over to the middle to catch something that one of my friends threw, and he was like 6’4” and not muscular at all, and I would go to tackle him and he’d break like the Leaning Tower of Pisa. You’d hear him tumble down.

(more…)

This week, I got to tag along David Wygant to David DeAngelo’s “Double Your Dating:  Man Transformation” seminar.

David Wygant had a speech to do and as usual, he rocked it.  His energy is absolutely amazing when in front of an audience. 

When he gets on stage, he just gets in the zone.  He never prepares his speech.  Everything is in his head and I think that’s what makes him so good.  He knows his stuff so well that he just get into that flow state. He gets in the moment and everything comes out naturally.

For this seminar, he brought a grapefruit on stage and asked one courageous volunteer to come up.  He then explained:  “I want you to catch the grapefruit. I’m going to roll it either fast or slow.  It’s up to you to catch it.”  Without much of a warning, he then rolled the grapefruit fast towards the volunteer.  The guy missed the grapefruit completely and had to chase it down the stage.

This is what most men do wrong.  They spend their life chasing after women.

The audience went crazy with the analogy.  David moved on to talk about how men need to learn to attract women instead of chasing them.  Men need to learn to have purpose, have passion, be able to observe and listen to truly connect with women on a deeper, higher level.

I’m not going to lie.  I like working with David.  He has a very healthy lifestyle and mindset.  Sometimes, I feel he could teach a little bit more technical stuff for the guys who truly don’t get it but he doesn’t… and I know why.  He really wants guys to understand the habits and behaviors of being an attractive man.  If you “get it”, techniques don’t matter as much.

However, David is not the only dating expert I like to hang around or hear from.  There are a lot of other dating experts and gurus that teach some truly amazing things.

At the “Man Transformation” seminar, I was very happy to see Vin DiCarlo again.  He’s one of my favorite guys in the Community because his writing has always resonated with me.  He’s the guy who coined the term ”Natural Game” for the Seduction Community a few years back.

If you were to meet him, you’d think of him as a totally normal guy unlike some of the other Pick-Up Artists (PUAs) out there.  Ask him about his Star Wars collectibles collection sometimes or if you are into music, ask him about his rockstar aspirations.

Maybe I like him because I’m a Star Wars geek too.

The only difference between you and him is that he just gets laid a whole lot more than you ;p

He’s definitely a bit more of a Pick-Up Artist than a dating kinda guy but his methodoly has always been about bringing your most natural masculine behaviors out without asking you to manipulate women into liking you.  Some of his advanced techniques can definitely be misused by ill-intentioned men towards women but that’s the nature of things.  You can use any pool of knowledge for good or evil.

As I was networking with David, I didn’t realized that I completely missed Vin’s presentation.  Bummer!  I was really looking forward to hearing what he had to say.

I did get to chat with him a little bit though.  He’s releasing a new e-book called The Attraction Code which I’m pretty excited about.

He graciously sent me a copy for me to review so you can bet that I’ll be writing about it soon.  I’ve read 3/4th of the e-book already and the cool thing about Vin is that he realizes that any seduction method out there CAN work… as long as you know HOW TO THINK about attraction.

So if you want to keep yourself up-to-date on his e-book release, make sure to sign up for his VIP list right now by clicking the banner below.  He has some freebies to give away and he’ll be releasing the book to his friends and private list first.

I also got to chat a little bit with Steve Piccus.  If you don’t know him, he’s the guy behind the White Tiger Tantra DVD set.

In those videos, he teaches men how to massage a woman for optimal relaxation and blood flow so you can help her reach deeper, stronger orgasms and squirting.  I remember watching those DVDs a long time ago and wondering how Steve would be like in person.  From his long hair and cowboy/native American fashion style, I was afraid he’d be some kind of woo woo woo new age spiritual guy.

After meeting him, I can say that Steve is CRAZY!!!  He’s not insane crazy.  He’s just crazy because he’s so full of life and energy.  I was there listening to him and David Wygant speak to each other and Steve truly understands how to connect to women on a much higher level.

Steve’s 18-year old son was also present and it was interesting to watch how father and son were both so open with each other about sexuality.  So many fathers out there don’t really teach their sons anything about women.  The funniest part for me was when his son expressed his view that a lot of Pick-Up Artists (PUAs) are just “gay”.  They seemed more interested in chatting with other men than meeting women.

Now, THAT’s something to think about.  This reminds me of what Adam Lyons once said in one of his speeches: 

If you want to meet women, surround yourself with women.  Why are you going out with a bunch of dudes?

Steve Piccus is definitely a manly man.  Everything about him projects a very masculine and dominant energy.  He absolutely abhors the part of the Seduction Community that teaches men to use tricks to meet women or the part of the Community that tell guys to act or dress gay to attract women.  If you want to meet women of quality, be a man! 

Steve curses a storm when he wants to make his opinion well known.  You probably wouldn’t want him to speak if political correctness was an issue.  He’s very passionate about what he teaches and you can tell it’s important for him to have men and women connect genuinely on a spiritual and sexual level.  Just by listening to him and talking to him for a few minutes, I was just amazed at how much he knew about sensuality and health.

I sure hope David and I get to work with him in the near future.

Finally, I got to meet Brent M.  David and Brent have been friends for a long time and I’ve always heard good things about Brent.  However, I haven’t met him until a few days ago.

Brent is one of those guys who also focuses on teaching men to live an interesting lifestyle.  If you live an attractive lifestyle, women will come to you but you have to learn to let go of a lot of your fears, a lot of your outcome dependence, a lot of your insecurities.

Brent is probably one of the best dressers I’ve met in the Community.  He has a very clean yet trendy look.  He wears good jeans, very nice shoes and always sports a nice blazer/sport coat.  The way he moves is very flowing and dominant.  His image alone probably gives him a lot of attention from the kinder gender.

Besides his good fashion sense, he has long shiny hair that would make Fabio (the model for all those romance novels) jealous.  You know what?  Maybe I should nickname Brent “Fabio.”  I wonder how he’d like that.  Anyhow, I didn’t talk to him about anything significant but I know that I’d just get along with him.  There are some people you just know.  You just KNOW you’d click with them.  There’s something about their vibe that puts you at ease and makes you smile.

The “Man Transformation” seminar featured a lot of other guest speakers including Lance Mason from PU101, Mehow, Hypnotica, Grant Adams from Net2Bed, Sean Stevenson, Alex Allman (author of Revolutionary Sex) and Neil Strauss himself.  I didn’t get to hear everyone speak and I definitely didn’t talk to all of them either but it was fun for me to just SEE all these gurus in one room chatting one another up. 

There were even other major players in the industry that just came in to network.  Tyler Durden from RSD, Jae Ellis from AskRomeo and Cameron Teone from AttractWomenAnywhere were there as well.

They may be competitors when it comes to business but when you put them all in one room, they are all friends.

I feel bad.  I haven’t written a lot on the blog recently but it’s not because I don’t want to.  I just have been busy.  Yakub came to visit me and David for the past week and I’ve been taking him around, showing him the good life we have in CA.

If you haven’t noticed, I’ve been working with David Wygant a bit more lately.  So a couple of my most recent posts have been published on his blog instead of mine.  I’ll repost them here sometimes this week.

In the meantime, David, Yakub and I had some really good conversations this past Saturday on what it means to be a man.  What does it mean to be a strong man?  What does it mean to be attractive and desired by women? 

I personally think that the topic of “being a man” is not discussed very often.  As boys, we are told and we are expected to “be a man” but we are never really taught HOW to be one.  We are told to stand up for ourselves and to be independent.

All I remember as a kid were vague “don’t cry”, “be strong” from the various father figures in my life.   But how do you learn to be strong?  How do you learn to be self-reliant?  How do you learn to be an attractive man?

Women, on the other hand, learn to confide in each other.  They share their inner fears and demons to one another.  By discussing them, they learn how to become a woman.  Men on the other hand usually don’t ask each other for help.  We deal with problems on our own. It would be un-manly to ask someone for assistance.

So for the first time here, David, Yakub and I decide to sit down and discuss openly how we feel about being a man.  I hope you enjoy it.

For me, being a man is similar to being a bamboo tree. You are to be grounded and strong but you can bend to the weather calamities at will without ever breaking. That supple core strength is what makes you a “strong” man.