A few months back, David Wygant and I did a blog on what it meant to be a man. 

A lot of people responded very well to that article but we forgot to post part 2.

So today, I’m posting part 2 as I shared my own personal experience looking for role models as I transition from boyhood to manhood.

I’m sure a lot of you guys can relate to it. 

As originally posted on David Wygant’s blog:

Be A Man That Women Desire

About two weeks ago you read a blog about being a man, and what being a man is all about. Of course, now it’s another one of those late nights in my house – which, by the way, I’m looking for a bigger house now, because part of being a man is realizing that you have friends at your house all of the time and you want a playroom. Even though you’re a man, you still like to be a boy, and we tend to hang out so much in my office – I’d love to have a killer den and a guest room.

A lot of guys who take the Bootcamp come and stay with me, clients stay with me, and friends stay with me at my house. My ex-girlfriend Alison said to me the other night that my house is like Camp David. That’s pretty funny – I’m certainly NOT George Bush! – but I wouldn’t mind if my house was actually Camp David.

I like opening my home, I’ve always been about opening up my home to my friends. And it’s fun – I like having people over. I have a cool pad, great furniture, fun toys in my house, lots of computers for people to play on, and a killer dog that everybody likes to hang out with.

So we were talking a little bit more about being a man. A couple of weeks ago we talked about what I feel it is to be a man. Khiem wanted to add something that I thought was really fascinating…

Khiem: For me, I really enjoy talking about being a man, because it’s a topic that is not very widely or often discussed among boys and men nowadays. Society and your family expect you to be a man, but nobody ever really tells you how to be one.

Or, you’re taught: “don’t cry,” “be strong,” “be a man!” But what does that mean? How do you be tough? Does that mean that you become stoic and hide your emotions from everybody? Or does it mean that you can raise your emotions, but not let them effect you?

When I was young, I was always close to my dad, so I don’t have an issue with that, but I remember when I was 15 and older, he was always really absent in my life. Now, looking back, I realize it was a big void because in your late teens when you are maturing, how do you transition from a boy to man?

David: You know it’s interesting – when I grew up, my father was my anti-role model. I didn’t respect him. When I was growing up, we would play football in the backyard, and sometimes my dad would fade back to pass, or go over to the middle to catch something that one of my friends threw, and he was like 6’4” and not muscular at all, and I would go to tackle him and he’d break like the Leaning Tower of Pisa. You’d hear him tumble down.

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I’ve always wondered why it is so hard for people to be naked.

Are people afraid of nakedness, or are they afraid of being vulnerable?

Are we too critical of our own self-image? Can we not accept seeing ourselves “as is” with no pretentions?

Why do some women insist on being intimate with a man only in darkness?

Why are men so afraid of other men’s bodies?

I find this entire “naked” business very funny.

When you go to the beach in Europe, men and women of all ages wear skimpy outfits. Imagine grandpa in a speedo with his flabby gut hanging out. Imagine the woman with saggy boobs walking topless. There’s skin showing everywhere. It’s not always pretty but over there, it’s not a big deal.

Here, in the U.S., someone would call out foul play and indecency.

Ewwww… Gross!

What’s so gross about a human body?

Why are YOU not comfortable with nakedness?

More importantly, are YOU comfortable with YOUR OWN nakedness?

I see it a lot in the pickup/dating industry. There are a lot of guys (and girls for that matter) with insecurities. They aren’t comfortable with themselves. They aren’t happy with who they are. They aren’t happy with how they look. They aren’t happy with their lives and they look for that external validation to tell them that they are okay, that someone loves them.

They look for that external validation by chasing money, by chasing unhealthy relationships, by chasing sex, by chasing empty dreams, etc and that’s why they can’t meet and connect with someone of the opposite sex.

That’s why they can’t get laid.

I was there. I understand. I was confused.

Being naked is the epitome of being comfortable with yourself. When you can look at yourself in the mirror - naked and vulnerable - without the urge of looking away, (more…)

 

 Be Naked [27:54m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download (61)

Last Monday, I was walking with some friends to the movie theatre to watch Iron Man.

If you guys like action or superhero movies, go watch it! It was kick ass!!!

On the way there, the girl asked:

Man… why is it so cold tonight? Brrr…

I looked at her funny and said:

It always makes me laugh when someone wonders why the weather is a certain way. It just is. Why does it matter if it’s cold or hot? It’s not like you can do anything about it. [grin]

She looked at me completely confused while her boyfriend cracked up hysterically.

Seriously… Sometimes, I think people just like to ask the most worthless questions and by doing so, they don’t realize how much mental energy they waste on things that don’t matter or on things they can’t do anything about.

A lot of guys in the Seduction Community do just that.

They focus on the wrong things. They ask the wrong questions. Therefore, they get sidetracked by things that don’t matter. Then they get frustrated that they don’t progress faster.

And sometimes… eventually, they give up.

You never fail when you give it your all…
because you learned something from the experience.

Last Sunday, a guy asked me what he could write in his first email to the woman he just met a few days beforehand.

As usual, I asked him for more background information. What do you know about her? What have you done with her so far? What do you want to say or convey to her? Where do you want to lead her?… etc.

Based on what he gave me, I suggested a cool opening topic he could use to start his email so that she would feel the desire to respond to him but as he told me more, something didn’t click.

He told me the girl was from the UK and was visiting LA. She’d soon leave to visit Las Vegas, then San Francisco before returning to London. I asked him:

So when are you going to see her?

To which he replied:

I don’t know.

So I told him:

So why does it matter what you are going to say in your email?!? You aren’t even going to be able to see her!!!

When you are learning something, make sure you ask the right questions. Focus on the right things and you’ll learn a lot faster.

There’s no point of (more…)