Last Monday, I was walking with some friends to the movie theatre to watch Iron Man.

If you guys like action or superhero movies, go watch it! It was kick ass!!!

On the way there, the girl asked:

Man… why is it so cold tonight? Brrr…

I looked at her funny and said:

It always makes me laugh when someone wonders why the weather is a certain way. It just is. Why does it matter if it’s cold or hot? It’s not like you can do anything about it. [grin]

She looked at me completely confused while her boyfriend cracked up hysterically.

Seriously… Sometimes, I think people just like to ask the most worthless questions and by doing so, they don’t realize how much mental energy they waste on things that don’t matter or on things they can’t do anything about.

A lot of guys in the Seduction Community do just that.

They focus on the wrong things. They ask the wrong questions. Therefore, they get sidetracked by things that don’t matter. Then they get frustrated that they don’t progress faster.

And sometimes… eventually, they give up.

You never fail when you give it your all…
because you learned something from the experience.

Last Sunday, a guy asked me what he could write in his first email to the woman he just met a few days beforehand.

As usual, I asked him for more background information. What do you know about her? What have you done with her so far? What do you want to say or convey to her? Where do you want to lead her?… etc.

Based on what he gave me, I suggested a cool opening topic he could use to start his email so that she would feel the desire to respond to him but as he told me more, something didn’t click.

He told me the girl was from the UK and was visiting LA. She’d soon leave to visit Las Vegas, then San Francisco before returning to London. I asked him:

So when are you going to see her?

To which he replied:

I don’t know.

So I told him:

So why does it matter what you are going to say in your email?!? You aren’t even going to be able to see her!!!

When you are learning something, make sure you ask the right questions. Focus on the right things and you’ll learn a lot faster.

There’s no point of (more…)

A couple weeks ago, a girl I really liked and I “broke up”. 

We never really dated. 

We’ve been friends for a year and a half.  We started our friendship with a very hot makeout but life happens and we never managed to see each other much.

On the day we “broke up”, she told me very harsh words via texts.  Somehow, I wasn’t phased. I saw these words for what they were:  a mere reflection of her own confused emotional state.

I was sad… not because I didn’t get the girl, not because I lost a friend.  I was sad because she couldn’t see how much she had.  She had so much potential and beauty but oftentimes, she would look for outside validation to make herself feel better instead of truly believing in herself. 

I was sad that on many occasions, she behaved a certain way because she didn’t know better.

Yesterday, I went to meet up with some friends to play golf.  I arrived an hour late (I didn’t sleep very much the night before).  I didn’t know what I was doing but I walked on the golf course directly to hole #3 to see my friends.  I didn’t know I couldn’t walk on like that.  I didn’t even pay. 

As I started walking towards my friends, people were yelling at me from afar to tell me something.  I looked back without really understanding what people wanted and kept on walking.  I was unphased by the commotion and social pressure around me.

My friend couldn’t believe what I just did.  He said I was “Gangsta” for walking in like that.

A week and a half ago, I got into a car accident.

I was driving straight when the other car trying to turn left hit me on my driver side, rear wheel.  My car spun almost 180 degrees and I came to a complete stop on the side of the curb, facing back traffic.

Throughout the entire experience, I saw everything move in slow motion.  I wasn’t afraid.  I wasn’t panicked.  I knew what to do.

A few days ago, my insurance deemed my car as “total loss”.  The damages were too heavy for repairs when considering how many miles my car had.  I have to buy a new car now.  The other insurance hasn’t accepted liability yet either.  My rental car may not get paid by the insurance.  What it translates to is…

I have a lot of uncertainty floating around in my life at this moment.  I am faced with potentially new financial stress.

But I am calm.

How do YOU react to the pressures in your life?  When faced with unexpected situations, how do you handle negative or overwhelming emotions?

Jealousy, anger, fear, anxiety, pain, feelings of inadequacy, strong urge to feel loved, racism, embarrassment…

These are all emotions that will test your emotional strength and character.

These are also emotions that will arise when a woman teases you or as the Seduction Community calls it “shit tests” you.

As men, we are taught to be unreactive… almost to the point of stoicism.  In hopes of being strong, I learned to hide my emotions.  That’s what I thought being strong meant.  That’s what I believed for a long time. 

Don’t show your emotions.  It’s weak.

I became afraid of feeing sad, angry, scared… etc because I thought showing emotions meant I was weak.

I was wrong.  Emotions are what makes me feel alive.  They are what makes me feel strong.  I can’t run away from them and I shouldn’t have to hide them.  Instead, I need to embrace them.

But as much as I embrace them because they make me feel alive, I don’t let my emotions control me.   (more…)

 

 Emotional Strength [12:22m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download (105)

What do you do when you are so high on life that people can’t understand you?

What do you do when you see beauty in every moment that you breathe?

What do you do when you see beauty in every person you meet but they don’t see it in themselves?

Which moments do you consider worth living?

Are you so oblivious to those moments that you let them pass you by as if they never existed?

I love what I do.  I love the people I meet.  I love life.

Yesterday, I was at a friend’s party.  The location was gorgeous.  Imagine a mansion hanging on a cliff overlooking Santa Monica beach.  The house is filled with flowers.  Beautiful people are mingling around in the patio.

The men are all successful.  Some of them are millionaires.  They carried a certain confident and comfortable energy with them.  The women are all wearing sun dresses.  They walked with that sexy feminity that would make any guy look twice.

And there it was… a little garden that only had one wooden bench in the middle of it.

I walked there and sat down by myself.  I looked out.  I breathed in the moment.

If I didn’t step away from the beautiful crowd, I would have missed it.

As I looked out, I saw something magical.  I saw that magical moment when the sun kissed the horizon in a red hot passionate embrace.

When you let that moment sip in through you, when you connect to your own  emotions, when you allow yourself to be grounded, you start feeling something you can’t describe in words.

Peace?  Love?  God?

I smiled.

A 42 year-old man I talked to earlier came up to me. 

Why are you here, sitting by yourself?

I asked him to sit with me and I pointed to the horizon.  He understood.

Then he asked me a question he asked me before:

Why are you here, at this party?

I didn’t know it… but I found out at some point that the party was actually a matchmaking party.  These beautiful men and these beautiful women were put together in this breathtaking setting to find one another.

I obviously wasn’t looking for “the one”.  I was just “there”.

I told him “Because I was invited”.

And then this 42-year old man and the 27-year old “kid” that I was started talking.  We talked for a long time.  (more…)