A couple weeks ago, a girl I really liked and I “broke up”. 

We never really dated. 

We’ve been friends for a year and a half.  We started our friendship with a very hot makeout but life happens and we never managed to see each other much.

On the day we “broke up”, she told me very harsh words via texts.  Somehow, I wasn’t phased. I saw these words for what they were:  a mere reflection of her own confused emotional state.

I was sad… not because I didn’t get the girl, not because I lost a friend.  I was sad because she couldn’t see how much she had.  She had so much potential and beauty but oftentimes, she would look for outside validation to make herself feel better instead of truly believing in herself. 

I was sad that on many occasions, she behaved a certain way because she didn’t know better.

Yesterday, I went to meet up with some friends to play golf.  I arrived an hour late (I didn’t sleep very much the night before).  I didn’t know what I was doing but I walked on the golf course directly to hole #3 to see my friends.  I didn’t know I couldn’t walk on like that.  I didn’t even pay. 

As I started walking towards my friends, people were yelling at me from afar to tell me something.  I looked back without really understanding what people wanted and kept on walking.  I was unphased by the commotion and social pressure around me.

My friend couldn’t believe what I just did.  He said I was “Gangsta” for walking in like that.

A week and a half ago, I got into a car accident.

I was driving straight when the other car trying to turn left hit me on my driver side, rear wheel.  My car spun almost 180 degrees and I came to a complete stop on the side of the curb, facing back traffic.

Throughout the entire experience, I saw everything move in slow motion.  I wasn’t afraid.  I wasn’t panicked.  I knew what to do.

A few days ago, my insurance deemed my car as “total loss”.  The damages were too heavy for repairs when considering how many miles my car had.  I have to buy a new car now.  The other insurance hasn’t accepted liability yet either.  My rental car may not get paid by the insurance.  What it translates to is…

I have a lot of uncertainty floating around in my life at this moment.  I am faced with potentially new financial stress.

But I am calm.

How do YOU react to the pressures in your life?  When faced with unexpected situations, how do you handle negative or overwhelming emotions?

Jealousy, anger, fear, anxiety, pain, feelings of inadequacy, strong urge to feel loved, racism, embarrassment…

These are all emotions that will test your emotional strength and character.

These are also emotions that will arise when a woman teases you or as the Seduction Community calls it “shit tests” you.

As men, we are taught to be unreactive… almost to the point of stoicism.  In hopes of being strong, I learned to hide my emotions.  That’s what I thought being strong meant.  That’s what I believed for a long time. 

Don’t show your emotions.  It’s weak.

I became afraid of feeing sad, angry, scared… etc because I thought showing emotions meant I was weak.

I was wrong.  Emotions are what makes me feel alive.  They are what makes me feel strong.  I can’t run away from them and I shouldn’t have to hide them.  Instead, I need to embrace them.

But as much as I embrace them because they make me feel alive, I don’t let my emotions control me.   (more…)

 

 Emotional Strength [12:22m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download (135)

What do you do when you are so high on life that people can’t understand you?

What do you do when you see beauty in every moment that you breathe?

What do you do when you see beauty in every person you meet but they don’t see it in themselves?

Which moments do you consider worth living?

Are you so oblivious to those moments that you let them pass you by as if they never existed?

I love what I do.  I love the people I meet.  I love life.

Yesterday, I was at a friend’s party.  The location was gorgeous.  Imagine a mansion hanging on a cliff overlooking Santa Monica beach.  The house is filled with flowers.  Beautiful people are mingling around in the patio.

The men are all successful.  Some of them are millionaires.  They carried a certain confident and comfortable energy with them.  The women are all wearing sun dresses.  They walked with that sexy feminity that would make any guy look twice.

And there it was… a little garden that only had one wooden bench in the middle of it.

I walked there and sat down by myself.  I looked out.  I breathed in the moment.

If I didn’t step away from the beautiful crowd, I would have missed it.

As I looked out, I saw something magical.  I saw that magical moment when the sun kissed the horizon in a red hot passionate embrace.

When you let that moment sip in through you, when you connect to your own  emotions, when you allow yourself to be grounded, you start feeling something you can’t describe in words.

Peace?  Love?  God?

I smiled.

A 42 year-old man I talked to earlier came up to me. 

Why are you here, sitting by yourself?

I asked him to sit with me and I pointed to the horizon.  He understood.

Then he asked me a question he asked me before:

Why are you here, at this party?

I didn’t know it… but I found out at some point that the party was actually a matchmaking party.  These beautiful men and these beautiful women were put together in this breathtaking setting to find one another.

I obviously wasn’t looking for “the one”.  I was just “there”.

I told him “Because I was invited”.

And then this 42-year old man and the 27-year old “kid” that I was started talking.  We talked for a long time.  (more…)

So I am one day late. 

I wanted to publish this post yesterday but Yakub is taking all of my time.  I just dropped him off at the airport so that he can finally go home to Virginia. 

Pfffeew, what a fun couple of weeks I’ve had with him.

If you don’t have a cool buddy to do fun crazy things with, I highly recommend you find yourself one.  I don’t mean a good buddy to play video games or sit around at home with but a seriously awesome guy you can hang out and play around with.  Hmmm… that didn’t sound right. 

I meant you should find yourself a super chill guy with whom you can fuck around when you two are meeting and talking to the people you see in your daily routine.  You want a guy who’s at the same level as you socially or better… or you want a guy with whom you feel energized by.

Yakub is one of those guys who just make me want to do more in my life.  We are always daring each other on stupid stuff and we push each other’s boundaries.  In all honesty, sometimes I hate him.  He’s always making fun of me but so am I.  What can I say… it’s a love/hate relationship

We actually got new nicknames for each other.  We’re the new Harold and Kumar!  Some girl we were talking to at Whole Foods gave those to us because we were such screwballs on the day I was wearing that “BIG PENIS” t-shirt.

Anyway, one of the things I love most about meeting people is learning from their experiences. 

It is fascinating for me to listen to someone talk about what made them succeed in life or what made them one way or another.  Last week, one of David Wygant’s clients came into town and all we did was go around town to shop with him while listening to his life stories and countless jokes.

Let me tell you:  this particular client was an experience of his own.  I have never learned so much from someone by just hanging out with him for 2 days.  He obviously was successful in his business.  He made plenty enough of money to not worry about his spending habits but what struck me the most was not his ridiculous generosity but his lifestyle. 

The way he leads his life is that he creates and lives his very own fantasy.  No matter where he goes, he thinks of entertaining himself first.  He creates his own situations and his own memories.  He jokes around with people, he plays with them… sometimes he give them gifts because he likes to show them that anything is possible.  He likes to create the unexpected in people’s lives. 

He absolutely has no social fear.  He has no sense of social boundary.

It’s very inspiring.

David actually nicknamed him Santa Claus.  It’s pretty funny actually because it’s so accurate!

Most of us are afraid of standing out.  We want to be unique but we are afraid of not fitting in so we play it safe most of our lives.  After watching him, I realized even more that the real fun is when you create your own rules.  You CAN live your own fantasy if you want to.  No one can judge you if you are doing the things you love and enjoy, even when it’s “out of the norm”. 

If people can’t accept you the way you are, they will weed themselves out of your life.  The one who stays are the one you want around in the first place.  They are the ones that will make you an even better, an even more interesting person.

Personally, his ability to create good energy and have fun anywhere was mind boggling.  Everything he did came from a place of making himself happy first, even in his dealings with women.  He obviously cared about women and gave a lot of himself to them but it always came second to his own happiness.

If the Community was to look at the way he gives to others, the Community would probably consider his overly generous behavior as supplicative but in all honesty, he did not come across supplicative at all.  Everything he did, he did from a place of authenticity, a place of personal power… and THAT was very attractive about him.

Parts of the Community teach guys to put people down with negs or tell you that it’s bad to give too much to people.  If you were a recovering “nice guy”, I can see why you should abide by those rules for a while but eventually, as you learn to find what your boundaries and deal breakers are as a man, it’s okay to give… as long as you do it for your own happiness’s sake and from a place of self-respect.

 

 Live Your Own Fantasy [11:38m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download (84)

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