It always surprises me how a small change in the way you do things can dramatically enhance your results.

I think the biggest problem with people today is that they do not show real intent in what they truly desire.  What I mean when I say that “they do not show real intent” is that their actions are not aligned with what they want.

A lot of people will state a purpose, an intent to do something but they do not act upon that intent.  For example, if I was to say “I am looking for a job” but I was still not finding a job after six months, am I really looking for job?

Keeping yourself honest with your intent is what’s going to make you successful in whatever you do because you are allowing yourself to express yourself freely with no restraint nor care.  In the context of meeting women, showing romantic intent goes beyond stating your sexual interest.  Do your behaviors with the woman you are interested in consistently show an explicit sexual overtone?

If you are only looking for casual play, are you mistakenly showcasing your provider/boyfriend traits to her instead of your “just for fun” qualities?

I have a friend who really liked this one girl.  They’ve been talking every day for the past 2 weeks through phone, online chat or text and have seen each other in person about twice a week.  From the way they were flirting, there was definite sexual tension between them… however, they were still just friends.  After much encouragement from my part, he finally gathered the courage to kiss her.  She was hesitant at first to reciprocate but eventually, she kissed him back. 

Actions speak louder than words.  It’s better for you to show intent through your actions than to wonder where you stand.

In the next few days, her barrage of questions regarding whether he was ready to continue with the romantic intent made him self-conscious.  He didn’t kiss her nor did he hold her hand the next few times he saw her.  In retrospect, she was voicing her own insecurities to him and he didn’t know how to handle that.  Tell me:  what do you think would have happened if he kept his actions congruent with his intent?  Because of his seemingly lack of direction, do you think the girl is confused now?

Most people are looking to be led.  Showing clear intent to the people around you allows them to react and behave accordingly to what YOU want.  More often than not, they will accommodate your desires and the more consistent you become at reinforcing your intent with your actions, the more people become conditioned to responding to you a certain way, thus setting a precedent.

If you want to get romantic with a girl, have your actions explicitly shown that intent?  I’m not recommending you to flat out tell a girl you like her upfront, but does your behavior show sexual interest?  Do you look into her eyes and hold eye contact passionately?  Do you subconsciously always find reasons to touch her?  Do you flirt or tease her?  Are you challenging her to be the unique woman you know she is and do you make her feel like one?  Do all your behaviors create a sexual vibe?

My friend JC and I talked a lot about intent the other night.  He has become quite good at approaching women and getting their phone numbers.  However, his return call ratio for dates was less than ideal.  (more…)