I talk about this with my close friends all the time.

Meeting women or meeting anyone for that matter isn’t that hard.

Attracting women into your life and consequently becoming intimate with one is much easier than you think…

… if only you’d stop making it hard on yourself to connect with her.

I see it all the time during bootcamps:  the monkey chatter, the insecurities, the excuses.  Guys get so blinded by wanting women that they let let their own fears get in the way of being present in the moment with her.

Guys try to think so much ahead that they forget to listen and act on their very own desires and urges.

They just think too much.

Their misguided perception of what is going on hinders the real obvious truth.  Forget everything  you know about how attracting women is supposed to look like.  Forget everything you read from the Seduction Community for just a brief moment.

When you are with a woman, when you are truly there with her, listening to her, being with her… what do you feel?

What do you want most in that moment?

Being good with women is all about who you are, how you think and how you carry yourself genuinely to the very things you care about and want.

For once, listen to your dick.  Stop pretending you don’t enjoy or want women.

A friend once got a girl so sexually ramped up that she was completely enamored with him.  What she wanted was so glaring obvious.  Unfortunately, in the end, nothing happened even though they were in her bedroom.

Why?  Because he started questioning himself.  He started hesitating.  He started thinking too much instead of really flowing with what was right in front of him.

Stop analyzing what you HAVE to do to get her to RESPOND to you a certain way.

If you want to kiss her, kiss her.  If you like something about her, tell her.  If you want to hold her hand, do so… but here’s the magic trick:

…if you can make her feel it already in her, you won’t have to force anything.

You can let it be.  You can ride the emotion.

If you can make her feel the desire to be with you, if you can make her feel curious about you, if you can make her feel the urge to do things with you, you won’t have to think about what to do to get her to agree to be with you.

Intrigue…  neg…  push-pull…  sexual barrier…  compliance…  every technique you may have learned from the Seduction Community is meant to affect the woman’s emotions about you.

Stop learning the techniques.  Start learning about how you impact or even influence her emotions directly by your behaviors, by who you are.

All of that starts with you knowing what YOU want.  What do you like?

When you are talking to a woman, where do you want to take her emotionally?

Do you have a direction to the experience, the fairy tale you are creating with her?

You don’t have to be a super duper Pickup Artist (PUA) to get women.

You just have to be you, the you without the fears, without the insecurities, without the hesitation, the most authentic and powerful version of you that’s been there all along, deep inside of you, scared of truly coming out.

When you are confused on what to do,

• Don’t ask “does she like me?”, ask yourself:  ”do I like her?”
• Don’t ask “what do I do to get her to like me?,” ask yourself:  ”what can she do for me to like her?” or… “is there something in her that I may like?”
• Don’t ask “what should I do now?”, ask yourself:  ”what do I REALLY want to do now?”
• Don’t ask “why doesn’t it work?, ask yourself:  ”what else can I do?”
• Don’t ask “does she want to kiss me?”, ask yourself:  ”do I want to kiss her?”
• Don’t ask “what do I say to her?”, ask yourself:  ”what do I see?  what comes up to my mind?” and just say it to her.
• Don’t ask “am I being too xyz?”, ask yourself:  ”does it really matter?”
• Don’t ask “what more can I do to get her attention”, ask yourself:  ”does she really see me for all of who I am?”

When you meet somebody, do you see more barriers or more opportunities?

When I interact with someone, I only see opportunities.

I see the opportunity for her to get to know me.  I see the opportunity for me to get to know her.

I see the opportunity for both her and I to learn to appreciate one another, to celebrate our individual uniqueness.

When a woman gives me the cold shoulder, I see it as an opportunity for me to show her how truly friendly and caring I am.

When a woman questions my judgment or my actions, I see it as an opportunity for me to show her how truly confident I am in what I do and believe.

When she hesitates with something, I see it as an opportunity to make her feel more at ease when I lead her with conviction down the path I know is both right and good her and me.

When you focus and act on what you truly want, there is no room for hesitation.

Whatever I do, whatever I say, I own it.

Things are always easiest when you make a choice, when you make a decision.  Don’t linger.  Don’t think too hard.  Don’t question yourself all the time.  Act on things.

At every step of the interaction, all I think about is:  how do I keep this moving forward?

Attracting women is really not that hard.

Instead of creating barriers between you and her to get together because you use tricks, gimmicks or game, make it easy on yourself.  Remove the barriers.

Acknowledge the inherent sexuality that exist between a man and a woman.

Attraction is bound to happen if you just let it be.

Let that sexual desire blossom inhibited.

I’m just a man.  She’s just a woman.  The only thing separating us is space… and at any given time, she or I can determine how much space stays in between.

It’s something I’ve come up recently.  My friends love it.  It’s so simple, yet it says so much.

Say it… over and over again.  Soon, you’ll understand.

See what I see.

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If you want to learn things you can apply today to better your dating life, David Wygant’s Men’s Mastery Audio Series is one of the best out there.  He coaches men and women so he knows and understand both sides of the equation.

If you want to kick up a notch your understanding of how to be the naturally attractive man you ought to be, go check out Vin DiCarlo’s The Attraction Code.  He will explain in depth how you should think about what it means to be attractive.

It always surprises me how a small change in the way you do things can dramatically enhance your results.

I think the biggest problem with people today is that they do not show real intent in what they truly desire.  What I mean when I say that “they do not show real intent” is that their actions are not aligned with what they want.

A lot of people will state a purpose, an intent to do something but they do not act upon that intent.  For example, if I was to say “I am looking for a job” but I was still not finding a job after six months, am I really looking for job?

Keeping yourself honest with your intent is what’s going to make you successful in whatever you do because you are allowing yourself to express yourself freely with no restraint nor care.  In the context of meeting women, showing romantic intent goes beyond stating your sexual interest.  Do your behaviors with the woman you are interested in consistently show an explicit sexual overtone?

If you are only looking for casual play, are you mistakenly showcasing your provider/boyfriend traits to her instead of your “just for fun” qualities?

I have a friend who really liked this one girl.  They’ve been talking every day for the past 2 weeks through phone, online chat or text and have seen each other in person about twice a week.  From the way they were flirting, there was definite sexual tension between them… however, they were still just friends.  After much encouragement from my part, he finally gathered the courage to kiss her.  She was hesitant at first to reciprocate but eventually, she kissed him back. 

Actions speak louder than words.  It’s better for you to show intent through your actions than to wonder where you stand.

In the next few days, her barrage of questions regarding whether he was ready to continue with the romantic intent made him self-conscious.  He didn’t kiss her nor did he hold her hand the next few times he saw her.  In retrospect, she was voicing her own insecurities to him and he didn’t know how to handle that.  Tell me:  what do you think would have happened if he kept his actions congruent with his intent?  Because of his seemingly lack of direction, do you think the girl is confused now?

Most people are looking to be led.  Showing clear intent to the people around you allows them to react and behave accordingly to what YOU want.  More often than not, they will accommodate your desires and the more consistent you become at reinforcing your intent with your actions, the more people become conditioned to responding to you a certain way, thus setting a precedent.

If you want to get romantic with a girl, have your actions explicitly shown that intent?  I’m not recommending you to flat out tell a girl you like her upfront, but does your behavior show sexual interest?  Do you look into her eyes and hold eye contact passionately?  Do you subconsciously always find reasons to touch her?  Do you flirt or tease her?  Are you challenging her to be the unique woman you know she is and do you make her feel like one?  Do all your behaviors create a sexual vibe?

My friend JC and I talked a lot about intent the other night.  He has become quite good at approaching women and getting their phone numbers.  However, his return call ratio for dates was less than ideal.  (more…)