There are times when I am amazed at the kind of honesty and deep kind of stuff I get to talk about with my guy friends late at night.

If you’ve read my blog for a while, you know I am all about demystifying incorrect beliefs.  I’m all about thinking and living life in a way that helps you achieve the things you set yourself to achieve.

So today, I decided to share with you my raw self.  You get to see me chat honestly about life and dating.  You get to see a side of me that not everyone gets to see unless you know me for a while… or unless you do long-a coaching with me.

Manuel is a friend of mine I’ve mentioned in a previous blog.  He was the jock who needed help with dating.  I’ve helped him for a few months and boy oh boy, he has come a long way since then.  Let’s just say he’s been having some fun.

A lot of the concepts I teach in bootcamps or in private coaching sessions are stuff I’ve experienced and studied myself… and more importantly, stuff that I have experimented with by teaching it to friends to see how it affects their lives.  That’s how I know whether the stuff I talk about works or not.

Grab yourself a cup of coffee or whatever your favorite drink is before reading.

It is a long post but you have plenty of time!!!  You have all the time in your life actually because…  well… we ARE talking about life.

1:16:18 AM Manuel : we tend to get lazy
1:16:22 AM Manuel : in relationships
1:16:23 AM Manuel : men
1:16:30 AM Manuel : don’t you think
1:16:30 AM Khiem : no… I typically don’t
1:16:37 AM Manuel : hmm
1:16:39 AM Khiem : b/c I put a high emphasis on always appreciating
1:16:52 AM Khiem : if I keep the idea of rewarding her behaviors by showing appreciation in various forms
1:16:55 AM Khiem : it keeps her hooked
1:17:04 AM Khiem : so I may get lazy on initiating sex
1:17:08 AM Khiem : but I don’t get lazy in the relationship
1:20:35 AM Manuel : yes, I meant in terms of sex
1:20:45 AM Manuel : sometimes I feel like the fact that it is guaranteed
1:20:52 AM Manuel : makes us take it for granted a little bit
1:20:57 AM Khiem : well maybe for you
1:21:01 AM Khiem : I try to not take it for granted
1:21:01 AM Manuel : in relationships
1:21:03 AM Khiem : b/c I told you before
1:21:07 AM Manuel : hahaha
1:21:08 AM Khiem : if you don’t do the effort to keep her happy
1:21:09 AM Manuel : i know
1:21:14 AM Khiem : her eyes and heart will start to wander
1:21:19 AM Khiem : it’s your job to keep her hooked
1:21:19 AM Manuel : YOU are the Supafreak
1:21:31 AM Khiem : just as it’s her job to seduce us with her femininity
1:22:19 AM Manuel : makes sense
1:22:35 AM Manuel : do you feel that requires a lot of attention on the man’s part? (more…)

I talk about this with my close friends all the time.

Meeting women or meeting anyone for that matter isn’t that hard.

Attracting women into your life and consequently becoming intimate with one is much easier than you think…

… if only you’d stop making it hard on yourself to connect with her.

I see it all the time during bootcamps:  the monkey chatter, the insecurities, the excuses.  Guys get so blinded by wanting women that they let let their own fears get in the way of being present in the moment with her.

Guys try to think so much ahead that they forget to listen and act on their very own desires and urges.

They just think too much.

Their misguided perception of what is going on hinders the real obvious truth.  Forget everything  you know about how attracting women is supposed to look like.  Forget everything you read from the Seduction Community for just a brief moment.

When you are with a woman, when you are truly there with her, listening to her, being with her… what do you feel?

What do you want most in that moment?

Being good with women is all about who you are, how you think and how you carry yourself genuinely to the very things you care about and want.

For once, listen to your dick.  Stop pretending you don’t enjoy or want women.

A friend once got a girl so sexually ramped up that she was completely enamored with him.  What she wanted was so glaring obvious.  Unfortunately, in the end, nothing happened even though they were in her bedroom.

Why?  Because he started questioning himself.  He started hesitating.  He started thinking too much instead of really flowing with what was right in front of him.

Stop analyzing what you HAVE to do to get her to RESPOND to you a certain way.

If you want to kiss her, kiss her.  If you like something about her, tell her.  If you want to hold her hand, do so… but here’s the magic trick:

…if you can make her feel it already in her, you won’t have to force anything.

You can let it be.  You can ride the emotion.

If you can make her feel the desire to be with you, if you can make her feel curious about you, if you can make her feel the urge to do things with you, you won’t have to think about what to do to get her to agree to be with you.

Intrigue…  neg…  push-pull…  sexual barrier…  compliance…  every technique you may have learned from the Seduction Community is meant to affect the woman’s emotions about you.

Stop learning the techniques.  Start learning about how you impact or even influence her emotions directly by your behaviors, by who you are.

All of that starts with you knowing what YOU want.  What do you like?

When you are talking to a woman, where do you want to take her emotionally?

Do you have a direction to the experience, the fairy tale you are creating with her?

You don’t have to be a super duper Pickup Artist (PUA) to get women.

You just have to be you, the you without the fears, without the insecurities, without the hesitation, the most authentic and powerful version of you that’s been there all along, deep inside of you, scared of truly coming out.

When you are confused on what to do,

• Don’t ask “does she like me?”, ask yourself:  ”do I like her?”
• Don’t ask “what do I do to get her to like me?,” ask yourself:  ”what can she do for me to like her?” or… “is there something in her that I may like?”
• Don’t ask “what should I do now?”, ask yourself:  ”what do I REALLY want to do now?”
• Don’t ask “why doesn’t it work?, ask yourself:  ”what else can I do?”
• Don’t ask “does she want to kiss me?”, ask yourself:  ”do I want to kiss her?”
• Don’t ask “what do I say to her?”, ask yourself:  ”what do I see?  what comes up to my mind?” and just say it to her.
• Don’t ask “am I being too xyz?”, ask yourself:  ”does it really matter?”
• Don’t ask “what more can I do to get her attention”, ask yourself:  ”does she really see me for all of who I am?”

When you meet somebody, do you see more barriers or more opportunities?

When I interact with someone, I only see opportunities.

I see the opportunity for her to get to know me.  I see the opportunity for me to get to know her.

I see the opportunity for both her and I to learn to appreciate one another, to celebrate our individual uniqueness.

When a woman gives me the cold shoulder, I see it as an opportunity for me to show her how truly friendly and caring I am.

When a woman questions my judgment or my actions, I see it as an opportunity for me to show her how truly confident I am in what I do and believe.

When she hesitates with something, I see it as an opportunity to make her feel more at ease when I lead her with conviction down the path I know is both right and good her and me.

When you focus and act on what you truly want, there is no room for hesitation.

Whatever I do, whatever I say, I own it.

Things are always easiest when you make a choice, when you make a decision.  Don’t linger.  Don’t think too hard.  Don’t question yourself all the time.  Act on things.

At every step of the interaction, all I think about is:  how do I keep this moving forward?

Attracting women is really not that hard.

Instead of creating barriers between you and her to get together because you use tricks, gimmicks or game, make it easy on yourself.  Remove the barriers.

Acknowledge the inherent sexuality that exist between a man and a woman.

Attraction is bound to happen if you just let it be.

Let that sexual desire blossom inhibited.

I’m just a man.  She’s just a woman.  The only thing separating us is space… and at any given time, she or I can determine how much space stays in between.

It’s something I’ve come up recently.  My friends love it.  It’s so simple, yet it says so much.

Say it… over and over again.  Soon, you’ll understand.

See what I see.

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If you want to learn things you can apply today to better your dating life, David Wygant’s Men’s Mastery Audio Series is one of the best out there.  He coaches men and women so he knows and understand both sides of the equation.

If you want to kick up a notch your understanding of how to be the naturally attractive man you ought to be, go check out Vin DiCarlo’s The Attraction Code.  He will explain in depth how you should think about what it means to be attractive.

Imagine Will Smith, acting as Hitch, enter the library room at the Viceroy Hotel in Santa Monica on a Thursday night.  He is sporting True Religion jeans, red Converse-like sneakers and a collarless form-fitting shirt.  His understated fashion downplays his true good looks.  He is tall and fit.  As he walks in the room filled with 90% men (one girl is present - my friend “Radiant Sun”, formerly known on this blog as the “White Woman”), he looks around with a confident smile.  All eyes are on him but he doesn’t seem one bit intimidated.  With little to no effort, he takes control of his surroundings with charm and energy.  Within minutes, everyone seems entranced by him and for the next hour or so, words of wisdom are shared on the topic of dating.

Now… pause the image you have in your mind.  Switch out Will Smith for a white man in his mid-40s.  Keep the handsome part, but change his looks to a taller and more slender version of Hitch.  Press play again and there!  You now have David Wygant.  If you don’t know who he is, go check his website.  He is what he calls a ”dating agent” and he wants to put you ”into a position to succeed with women in a way that works best for YOU.”  It’s not about just meeting and bedding women anymore, it’s about finding the right woman. 

I listen attentively to everything he has to say and I’m beginning to really like him.  Unlike your average dating coach, he has actually worked with A-listers in the entertainment/business world and teaches both men and women.  He’s also well recognized in the mainstream media as he occasionally writes dating advice for Yahoo! and has been featured in countless magazine articles.  Unlike many pick-up gurus, he doesn’t advocate a one-size fits all approach either.  His coaching is aimed at giving you a strong foundation and building your strengths on top of it.  He wants to give you the tools to be able to talk to anyone anytime, and also encourages you to meet women in places where you have no real competition (he recommends paying attention to the women in your daily routine.  Think of grocery stores, book stores, yoga studios, parks, etc… rather than bars and clubs).  Interesting… indeed. 

I was very impressed with the way David carried himself.  He reminded me of Wayne “Juggler” Elise, but David was a more energetic, fun version of him.  Wayne is funny because he doesn’t take himself very seriously whereas David is funny because he’s just “out there.”  Maybe it’s all in my head but I’m noticing a trend that even Johnny Wolf from SoCal Lair is seeing (yeah, Johnny was out with me too).  A lot of “natural” guys carry a very strong presence.  Their energy level is different based on their personality but they share this very warm, approachable and magnetic aura around them.  I don’t know why yet, but it’s something I don’t sense in indirect method guys as often as in natural guys.  Maybe I just haven’t met that good of indirect guys yet.

After his talk, I stayed to speak with him for 15 minutes or so.  A lot of what he said really hit home with my own personal beliefs:

• He’s not fond of the routine approach to dating because “meeting people is not a game, it’s an art.”  Routines encourage guys and girls to play games with each other and they don’t really teach you to connect properly with women.  “Natural is the only way to live.”
• The best opener is to observe the girl and/or your surroundings and use that as a conversation starter.  From there, you can talk about things you are both interested in and have fun with it (this reminded me a lot of the things I told “StreetWiseKeen” last year when I went out with him on Third Street Promenade)
• Always have fun first (which is the same as what theApproach advocates with their “keeping the proper focus” concept).  Meeting women should not be hard.  It should feel easy and casual.
• You want to always allow the energy in the interaction to flow freely (this is very similar to the Continuous Flow of Action by theApproach)
• Creating sexual tension is very important in solidifying the attraction/seduction.  It’s about making sex her idea.  When you can successfully do this, you enter a new category of men that women want to escalate on first.
• Tantric/erotic massage is one of your greatest tools to achieve great sex.

All in all, David Wygant was the unexpected but pleasant surprise of my Thursday night outing.  What I liked about him most (besides his charismatic energy) is that I could see myself hang out with him.  He is a very engaging person.  I wasn’t afraid to introduce him to my non-Community friends so I decided to invite him out to my friend’s birthday on Saturday night.  Everyone seemed to enjoy his company.

Now, if you want to learn more about him, take a look at his blog.  He posts twice daily and also has podcasts for you to listen to.  I listened to them over the weekend after I met him and they are good.  They are short too… about 10 minutes each so it’s really easy to listen to.

If you want to meet him without taking his bootcamp, he’ll be speaking at the PUA Summit this August 25-26.  When you go buy your tickets, remember that you can get $50 off by using “kissntale” as your discount code on the checkout page.

Now… because I like to give stuff out, I asked David to allow me to offer you guys a free copy his Mastery Audio Series for Men, Volume 1.  It’s entitled “Target Practice” and has 42 min worth of audio on the mindset you should have for successful dating.  Guess what?  He said yes, so download it here (19.5 MB – right click and save as…) before he changes his mind.  Just know that the 8 volumes series is never sold separately and will cost you $169.95 as a complete package.  I haven’t reviewed Volume 1 yet but if you like it, you can buy the rest of his series on his website.  Have fun, guys!