Whenever I hang out with my college guy friends in a group, there is always a tendency for them to demonstrate to one another that they are not gay or not acting in any feminine fashions.

In fact, any acts of weak behavior is taboo and deserve a kick in the nut sack.

It seems that they always feel the need to demonstrate that they are as straight as a heterosexual can be and are in every way the quintessential alpha male, aka “The Man!”. 

I consider this typical college fraternity mentality.  The sad part is most guys never grow out of this mindset for a long time. For some, sadly to say, their entire lives are lived out in such ways.

GUY1: “DUDE!!!…………..Did you see that shit?  That was AWESOME! YEAH, I OWNED THAT SHIT.”

GUY2: “That’s what I’m talking about man!  Grand Theft Auto is awesome.  You can shoot cops and run people over.”

GUY3: “Iono guys, this game is nice and all but it’s a little violent. I like playing tennis on Wii better than this cuz it’s more relaxing and entertaining. You know what I mean?”

GUY1 & GUY2: “WTF!? Dude you’re freaking GAY!”

GUY2: “Yeah man that’s the most homo thing I’ve ever heard” 

GUY3: “F&*k you two!”

GUY1: “Why don’t you go play with your little Wii and do your Dance Dance Revolution routine in your living room.”

Does the above conversation sound familiar?

Typical behaviors for these kind of men include talking louder, making more noticeably overt gestures to draw attention to themselves, laughing with deeper voice and trying to one up one another by making fun of each other.  

When hanging out together, they make sure to leave enough space in between one another to not get too close and touch the other guy by mistake.  They MUST not show any form of physical contact with another man aside from the manly punching and slapping.

After traveling and learning about other cultures, I feel that most men in the United States (my college buddies included) are very homophobic. They are afraid to show the sensual sensitive side of themselves to people, particularly in front of other men because they fear being chastised by their peers.  Most of them associate being sensual as feminine.  

They cover this insecurity of potentially being perceived as a “weaker” man by showcasing outrageous overt behaviors such as acting like a jock, walking with a swagger, etc. 

It wasn’t until I took theApproach’s bootcamp with Sebastian Drake and later on, until I started hanging out with Khiem that I realized how silly these societal conditioned perceptions can be. 

Those of you who have traveled a lot probably have noticed that men from the rest of the world are quite different than men from the US.  Most of my European and South American friends are very sensual and in tune with their sexuality.

They own their manliness image by not being afraid of gentle touching, fully body hugging, cheek-kiss greeting and generally-speaking being comfortable around and in the presence of other men. With women, they show even more warmth than with men.  

Everything about them conveys how comfortable they are with their body and sexuality. They are not afraid to show people their real side instead of our typical American cowboy, alpha male demeanor. They express who they are with authenticity and purest form of desire.

On the contrary, American men seem lost and (more…)