October 27th, 2009  (2)
Dating Talk Uncensored
Posted by Khiem in: Articles, Interviews

There are times when I am amazed at the kind of honesty and deep kind of stuff I get to talk about with my guy friends late at night.

If you’ve read my blog for a while, you know I am all about demystifying incorrect beliefs.  I’m all about thinking and living life in a way that helps you achieve the things you set yourself to achieve.

So today, I decided to share with you my raw self.  You get to see me chat honestly about life and dating.  You get to see a side of me that not everyone gets to see unless you know me for a while… or unless you do long-a coaching with me.

Manuel is a friend of mine I’ve mentioned in a previous blog.  He was the jock who needed help with dating.  I’ve helped him for a few months and boy oh boy, he has come a long way since then.  Let’s just say he’s been having some fun.

A lot of the concepts I teach in bootcamps or in private coaching sessions are stuff I’ve experienced and studied myself… and more importantly, stuff that I have experimented with by teaching it to friends to see how it affects their lives.  That’s how I know whether the stuff I talk about works or not.

Grab yourself a cup of coffee or whatever your favorite drink is before reading.

It is a long post but you have plenty of time!!!  You have all the time in your life actually because…  well… we ARE talking about life.

1:16:18 AM Manuel : we tend to get lazy
1:16:22 AM Manuel : in relationships
1:16:23 AM Manuel : men
1:16:30 AM Manuel : don’t you think
1:16:30 AM Khiem : no… I typically don’t
1:16:37 AM Manuel : hmm
1:16:39 AM Khiem : b/c I put a high emphasis on always appreciating
1:16:52 AM Khiem : if I keep the idea of rewarding her behaviors by showing appreciation in various forms
1:16:55 AM Khiem : it keeps her hooked
1:17:04 AM Khiem : so I may get lazy on initiating sex
1:17:08 AM Khiem : but I don’t get lazy in the relationship
1:20:35 AM Manuel : yes, I meant in terms of sex
1:20:45 AM Manuel : sometimes I feel like the fact that it is guaranteed
1:20:52 AM Manuel : makes us take it for granted a little bit
1:20:57 AM Khiem : well maybe for you
1:21:01 AM Khiem : I try to not take it for granted
1:21:01 AM Manuel : in relationships
1:21:03 AM Khiem : b/c I told you before
1:21:07 AM Manuel : hahaha
1:21:08 AM Khiem : if you don’t do the effort to keep her happy
1:21:09 AM Manuel : i know
1:21:14 AM Khiem : her eyes and heart will start to wander
1:21:19 AM Khiem : it’s your job to keep her hooked
1:21:19 AM Manuel : YOU are the Supafreak
1:21:31 AM Khiem : just as it’s her job to seduce us with her femininity
1:22:19 AM Manuel : makes sense
1:22:35 AM Manuel : do you feel that requires a lot of attention on the man’s part? (more…)

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    October 20th, 2009  (1)
PUA Summit 2009 Review
Posted by Khiem in: Articles, Community News & Events, Product Reviews

I have a love and hate relationship with the PUA Summit.

On one hand, I love it!

It’s the one place where you can openly discuss dating and pickup with other similar minded people.  It’s the one event where you can meet and talk directly to the gurus you’ve learned and read from on the internet for years!

I would be a hypocrite if I didn’t admit that I learned a lot from it when I was still exploring the Pickup Community.

It’s thanks to the PUA Summit that I connected with Johnny Wolf, Vince Kelvin, Adam Lyons and other really nice guys!

This year, they had some of the big names again:  David Wygant, Adam Lyons, Speer, Asian Playboy, Hypnotica, Mehow, Daniel Rose, Bad Boy, Brad P., DJ Fuji and many more!  They even had Kosmo speak there.  If you forgot, he’s the season 2 winner of Mystery’s reality TV show “The Pickup Artist” on VH1.

No matter what you are expecting from a convention like this, you won’t be disappointed.  If you need a few new techniques to add to your arsenal of seduction skills, many of the speakers will share with you what they know.  If you wanted to ask some of them about your personal situation, you can get some quick Q&A in after each presentation.  If you just wanted to wrap yourself around the mindset behind how to be a cool and attractive guy, you’d get that too!

You gotta love the half naked women in bikini or scantily clad clothes :P

Woman Half Naked = Good Ad :P

It’s at events like the PUA Summit that you can find out for yourself who’s the real deal.  Which guru do you connect and relate to the most?  How do you like their vibe?  How do you like how they carry themselves?  This is where you can find out if you really want to be like them, if you really want to continue learning from them.  Honestly, some of these gurus don’t have very good looking girlfriends.

Worse, I don’t know if I would consider some of these women “high quality”  (in the sense of… what do they bring to your life outside of sex and/or being your arm candy).

But again, I’m not judging here.  Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

The PUA Summit has matured a lot since its first year in 2007.   (more…)

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    September 21st, 2007  (4)
The Fallacy of Wanting More
Posted by Khiem in: Articles

So you’ve done all this “work.” You’ve gone from total loser to complete stud.

You walk slowly in the bar, you scan the room, a girl is checking you out. You half-smile back at her but you know not to eagerly walk up to her yet. She’s actually not the only one who’s been glancing at you ever since you stepped in. You have the choice. Hmmm… who are you going to pick tonight? There, that one! She’s sitting in the back corner talking to her friends. She’s pretty. Cute face, boobilicious body, curvacious hips. She notices you as you start walking to her. She pretends not to see you but you can tell she’s getting nervous as she realizes the prospect of meeting you.

You start the conversation with something you can’t even remember. Within minutes, all her friends love you. Her entire social circle is mesmerized by you. Without knowing why or how, she senses the sexual tension rising between you and her. She’s feeling a little bit flustered inside, maybe a little warm. With calm confidence, you pull her to the side. She smiles or laughs at the drop of your every word. She touches your arm and brushes herself against you. She tells you things she haven’t shared with many guys before. She really likes you. By the end of the night, you get her phone number. Maybe you’ve kissed her. Maybe you’ve made out with her. Maybe you’ve even slept with her.

Pick-up is easy for you now. If you wanted, the same scenario could play over and over again every night. Women call you non-stop to hang out with you. You have more dates than you even know what to do with. Now what?

You actually have a few girlfriends, some more serious than others. Some are actually so in love with you that they want a committed relationship from you. However, you don’t know if you can honor that commitment. Now what?

Let me tell you this. Don’t be afraid to go to the next level.

I see so many Pick-Up Artists working so hard at staying in the position to “have the choice in women.” After suffering so many years of not having any options, they are now constantly looking for new, better, hotter women. It’s like they collect them. They always need “one more.” I know… having someone new is fun. It’s like having a new toy every day. If that’s what you enjoy and want, keep playing the field. I respect that decision and you should stop reading now.

But if you are done sowing your royal oats, if you have now decided to find yourself a “real” girlfriend/wife or if you are not finding fulfillment in meeting more women, then ask yourself: what’s the point of having a choice in women if you don’t exercise that choice? How long are you wanting to stay unattached for? Do you want to be that creepy 65 year old man who’s still chasing after 3-4 women?

It’s time to look hard at what you have already. I am sure that some of the women you are seeing today are worth pursuing a real relationship with. Why aren’t you?

In pick-up, you learn to conquer your own fears and insecurities. Be that confident man, they say. Don’t let fear take over you when it comes to talking to a woman. Just approach and so… you’ve learned to overcome that anxiety. Well… now that you have the choice in women, what are you afraid of?

My roommate used to tell me:

In the end, you only need one woman to be happy.

I have a friend who was dating a wonderful girl. He met her only one month after taking his bootcamp with theApproach. He came to a dilemma that many Pick-Up Artists would eventually have to face. After a few months of dating, he sensed that she would soon want a committed relationship with him. She was hot, she was caring, she was fun, she was sexy and for a while, she did tolerate his uncommitted ways. Yes, she liked him a lot and so did he. But what was he to do: go exclusive with her or keep seeing other women?

At this moment, a lot of Pick-Up Artists would have chosen to break-up with the girl to maintain their position of choice. They prefer to break it off rather than become more attached to her. They don’t want to miss out on meeting and seeing other girls. Maybe they are afraid of liking that ONE girl too much. Maybe they don’t want to hurt her because she’s falling too in love with them and they don’t want that to get out of hand. Whatever.

My friend decided to give exclusivity a shot. It’s not like he couldn’t break-up with her later if things didn’t work out. When he made that decision, he wasn’t thinking marriage either but now, I can say he’s happier than ever. You should have seen the big smile he had at his wedding. He married her earlier this month. If he didn’t take the time to connect to her on a deeper level, he wouldn’t have realized how much she meant to him. When you are done with the thrills of “just sex,” only a committed relationship can allow you to grow on a deeper personal level. We sometimes forget to notice the very gem that is in front of us. If you have a quality woman in your life who is worth savouring, don’t let her slip you by.

So when the time comes, don’t fall for the fallacy of wanting more. Recall why you became a Pick-Up Artist in the first place. Wasn’t it to have the ability to eventually find that special someone? Look at Hugh Hefner. At 80 year old, even he is getting married again.

I am not asking you to settle down but if a girl feels right, stop looking around. Allow yourself to grow with her. Try things out.

Another friend of mine who has always been very successful with women reminded me of something I’ve told him in my college years. I didn’t remember it but it was something that have stayed on his mind for years:

On a deep emotional level, when you sleep with someone, you give away a little piece of your soul. Don’t spread your soul too thin.

Maybe there’s some truth to that.

Can you be happy with what you have?

Commitment

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