Imagine Will Smith, acting as Hitch, enter the library room at the Viceroy Hotel in Santa Monica on a Thursday night.  He is sporting True Religion jeans, red Converse-like sneakers and a collarless form-fitting shirt.  His understated fashion downplays his true good looks.  He is tall and fit.  As he walks in the room filled with 90% men (one girl is present - my friend “Radiant Sun”, formerly known on this blog as the “White Woman”), he looks around with a confident smile.  All eyes are on him but he doesn’t seem one bit intimidated.  With little to no effort, he takes control of his surroundings with charm and energy.  Within minutes, everyone seems entranced by him and for the next hour or so, words of wisdom are shared on the topic of dating.

Now… pause the image you have in your mind.  Switch out Will Smith for a white man in his mid-40s.  Keep the handsome part, but change his looks to a taller and more slender version of Hitch.  Press play again and there!  You now have David Wygant.  If you don’t know who he is, go check his website.  He is what he calls a ”dating agent” and he wants to put you ”into a position to succeed with women in a way that works best for YOU.”  It’s not about just meeting and bedding women anymore, it’s about finding the right woman. 

I listen attentively to everything he has to say and I’m beginning to really like him.  Unlike your average dating coach, he has actually worked with A-listers in the entertainment/business world and teaches both men and women.  He’s also well recognized in the mainstream media as he occasionally writes dating advice for Yahoo! and has been featured in countless magazine articles.  Unlike many pick-up gurus, he doesn’t advocate a one-size fits all approach either.  His coaching is aimed at giving you a strong foundation and building your strengths on top of it.  He wants to give you the tools to be able to talk to anyone anytime, and also encourages you to meet women in places where you have no real competition (he recommends paying attention to the women in your daily routine.  Think of grocery stores, book stores, yoga studios, parks, etc… rather than bars and clubs).  Interesting… indeed. 

I was very impressed with the way David carried himself.  He reminded me of Wayne “Juggler” Elise, but David was a more energetic, fun version of him.  Wayne is funny because he doesn’t take himself very seriously whereas David is funny because he’s just “out there.”  Maybe it’s all in my head but I’m noticing a trend that even Johnny Wolf from SoCal Lair is seeing (yeah, Johnny was out with me too).  A lot of “natural” guys carry a very strong presence.  Their energy level is different based on their personality but they share this very warm, approachable and magnetic aura around them.  I don’t know why yet, but it’s something I don’t sense in indirect method guys as often as in natural guys.  Maybe I just haven’t met that good of indirect guys yet.

After his talk, I stayed to speak with him for 15 minutes or so.  A lot of what he said really hit home with my own personal beliefs:

• He’s not fond of the routine approach to dating because “meeting people is not a game, it’s an art.”  Routines encourage guys and girls to play games with each other and they don’t really teach you to connect properly with women.  “Natural is the only way to live.”
• The best opener is to observe the girl and/or your surroundings and use that as a conversation starter.  From there, you can talk about things you are both interested in and have fun with it (this reminded me a lot of the things I told “StreetWiseKeen” last year when I went out with him on Third Street Promenade)
• Always have fun first (which is the same as what theApproach advocates with their “keeping the proper focus” concept).  Meeting women should not be hard.  It should feel easy and casual.
• You want to always allow the energy in the interaction to flow freely (this is very similar to the Continuous Flow of Action by theApproach)
• Creating sexual tension is very important in solidifying the attraction/seduction.  It’s about making sex her idea.  When you can successfully do this, you enter a new category of men that women want to escalate on first.
• Tantric/erotic massage is one of your greatest tools to achieve great sex.

All in all, David Wygant was the unexpected but pleasant surprise of my Thursday night outing.  What I liked about him most (besides his charismatic energy) is that I could see myself hang out with him.  He is a very engaging person.  I wasn’t afraid to introduce him to my non-Community friends so I decided to invite him out to my friend’s birthday on Saturday night.  Everyone seemed to enjoy his company.

Now, if you want to learn more about him, take a look at his blog.  He posts twice daily and also has podcasts for you to listen to.  I listened to them over the weekend after I met him and they are good.  They are short too… about 10 minutes each so it’s really easy to listen to.

If you want to meet him without taking his bootcamp, he’ll be speaking at the PUA Summit this August 25-26.  When you go buy your tickets, remember that you can get $50 off by using “kissntale” as your discount code on the checkout page.

Now… because I like to give stuff out, I asked David to allow me to offer you guys a free copy his Mastery Audio Series for Men, Volume 1.  It’s entitled “Target Practice” and has 42 min worth of audio on the mindset you should have for successful dating.  Guess what?  He said yes, so download it here (19.5 MB – right click and save as…) before he changes his mind.  Just know that the 8 volumes series is never sold separately and will cost you $169.95 as a complete package.  I haven’t reviewed Volume 1 yet but if you like it, you can buy the rest of his series on his website.  Have fun, guys!

The more I study the Seduction Community, the more I realize how important it is for someone wanting to learn a method to meet an instructor or an accomplished practicioner of that method.  You can THINK you understand a method, but you won’t get it until you meet the person behind it live. 

This is why I was so excited to have the opportunity to finally meet Wayne “Juggler” Elise at the SoCal Lair meeting of 04/26/2007.  I have been a fan of Juggler for a long time.  My buddy from Tampa was one of his earliest student and was raving about him to me for months.  His enthusiasm sparked my curiosity which led me to read all his e-books, listened to all his Charisma Arts podcasts, and watched all the videos he has released (including the bootcamp DVD I borrowed from another friend of mine).  Intellectually, I knew everything there was to know about the Juggler Method but as I later found out, there was something else I needed to figure out: the Juggler VIBE!

On that evening, I headed with the “White Woman” to  K1 Speed in Irvine, CA where the meeting was being held.  If you were wondering:  yes, she drove.  She even brought me leftover Thai food from her work.  I know, I love her too.  She’s awesome like that.  You can’t ask more from a friend like her

As you can imagine, I was happy.  I was in good company and was about to meet another “pickup guru.”  Some of my posse would be there too (a couple VAC alumnis I had invited) but the cool part was that we had another woman with us.  She was a friend of “the White Woman” and sported colorful purple hair.  Oh yeah… she was white too but I guess I’ll just nickname her the “Purple Woman” for storytelling purposes.  It was the first time I met her but I liked her.  From the few conversations we exchanged in the car, I could tell she was confident and very intelligent… just the kind of woman I like to surround myself with.  As expected, they ended being the only 2 women in the room.  Maybe I should have put a wager because  I would have made some easy money there LOL

We didn’t have to wait long for Juggler to show up.  From his towering (estimated) 6′2 height, he looked very relaxed in front of the audience.  Unlike the majority of PUAs I have seen, his clothing was not flashy.  He wore simple jeans with a blue sweater.  If you were to believe the fashion advice of the Seduction Community, he would barely pass the “fashionably trendy” test, and would definitely fail the peacocking test.  His demeanor was casual without being overly alpha.  His scruffy looking face gave you the impression that he just woke up and didn’t have time to shave.  The “White Woman” turned to me and whispered in a disappointed tone: “Is that him?”  From appearance alone, I guess she was expecting a little bit more.

After the typical speaker introduction, Juggler leaned against the table, looked at us and said nothing, a-b-s-o-l-u-t-e-l-y nothing.  For a while, it seemed that he didn’t know how to begin his speech.  Maybe he was giving the audience time to settle down.  Maybe he was searching for words.  He finally pointed to someone and broke the silence with “So what do you want to talk about?” The guy quickly replied:  “The Juggler basics.”  Juggler smiled and said:  “The basics?  I will show you a juggler trick later.  Before I leave, I WILL show you a juggler trick.”  The audience laughed as Wayne Elise crafted his next response:  ”The Juggler METHOD basics… I don’t even know what those are.  What I have been thinking about lately is knowning how little I know.”

At that moment, I knew.  I knew my drive to Irvine was time well spent.  Within 2 minutes of his presentation, Juggler has just showed 2-3 applications of his method.  He vacuumed the audience, used playful misinterpretations, related to guys in the audience by disqualifying himself.

Juggler continued talking mostly about the importance of vibe and logistics.  Instead of summarizing his speech, I strongly recommend you download it instead (duration – 1 hr 32 min) and listen for yourself.  Some things are better experienced first hand and he definitely deserve all the honor and credit he can get:
- *.wav format (58.48 MB)
- *.mp3 format (84.28 MB)

Right click and hit “save as…” to download the file.

For people who are too lazy to actually listen, here are some sound bites that hopefully will entice you to listen to the speech in its entirity:

• Interaction is really about just showing up:  just being there, being there at the right place, the right time.  It’s logistics.
   
• (About compliments) Unfortunately, people don’t believe in truth. There’re a long ways from being truthful to making it believable.  In fact if you can make it believable, that’s so much better.  You can say to a girl “you know what?  I think you are hot” and she will like that and that will work… if she believes you.  She has to believe you [...]  It’s not even about her.  If you tell a girl that you are hot, it doesn’t matter if she believes if she’s hot or not.  She has to believe that you believe [...]  Our job is to convince them that we believe it.
   
• (Escalation is about) Owning it.  
   
• I want you to be Forces of Nature. I want you to know what you want, I want to know your opinions, I want to know the essence of “John” and I want to bring that out of you and kick somebody’s fucking ass [...] On your own authority.
   
• There’s only one reason things don’t work:  it’s because either your vibe is wrong… or your logistics are wrong.
   
• Two things make vibe: (1) how you handle yourself in the interaction and (2) if you really care about people.
   
• When a girl says:  “I don’t sleep with guys the first night.”  It’s not necessarily bad, that’s a limitation.  That means that she’s willing to commit within that limitation A LOT.  Guys hear that and they think:  “Oh, she doesn’t like me at all”.  No, that means she wants to go home, make out and get naked with you but no actual penetration.
   
• Two techniques for handling AMOG:  (1) making negative presumptions about the person and (2) making the audience decide.
   
• We hear it all the time in the Community:  “you are gonna be better in relationships because you have options.  Because you can pickup somebody else, that means when you commit to somebody, that means more.”  You know what?  They are wrong!  I don’t believe that’s the way to feel secure.   I believe the way to feel secure is to be okay with your aloneness.  Once you are okay with your aloneness, you realize you are never alone.
   
• The tendency for most people is to move that interaction off of themselves because most people are not comfortable with that.  One thing I teach is keeping that (conversation) centered, keeping that focused on the other person but at the same time focused on me.  So that’s the only thing I talk about:  myself and the other person.  The topics are just kind of ways to put our personality through that.

By the end of the presentation, I fell in love with the Juggler Method (or maybe just Juggler himself) all over again.  It was interesting for me to see the parallel between his take on “vibe & logistics” and theApproach’s “Sex = VAC + Logistics” formula.  I guess in the end, each guru explains the same thing in different manners.

What I liked about Juggler is how he embodied true warmth and genuine compassion in the way he interacted with people.  He was never condescending nor did he try to come across as the all-knowing guru when he answered the audience’s questions.  He was funny without being a clown, he was confident without being arrogant and he had this very zen-like internal emotional state.  If I had to make a comparison, I would describe his vibe to be closest to a Buddhist monk… but conversely more engaging than a Buddhist monk.  I guess he’d be one of the few gurus in the Community that I would feel comfortable introducing to my sister, my mother or grandparents.

In terms of his skill as a teacher, he had this innate ability to explain social interactions in simple terms without using Community technical jargon.  Just by watching him, I understood how and why his philosophy were so powerful and so well-regarded.  His open vibe is what I think was  missing in my application of the method.  As friendly and as social that I was, I realized that I was still fairly selective of the people I chose to interact with whereas he tried to make EVERYONE feel appreciated. 

However, as much as I enjoyed meeting Juggler in person, I was not prepared for the best comment of the night.  The “White Woman” later admitted to finding Juggler progressively more and more attractive as he kept talking.  Sigh… so much for a negative first impression!

Wayne “Juggler” Elise, I send you my regards