The Start of a Beautiful Experiment
Posted by Khiem in: Wandering Thoughts

Way before “The Game” (a book written by Neil Strauss) was released, I was seduced into the “Pickup Artist (PUA) Community” by a friend living in Tampa.  He assured me I would become the next Casanova or Don Juan.  That thought alone made me grin from ear to ear.  Come on!  Who could resist the idea of having beautiful women fawning over you?!?  That was the fall and winter of 2004. 

It has now been a a bit longer than 2 years since then… and…  I am still no Casanova, but that’s OK. 🙂  What I have learned have allowed me to become a much more socially savvy man.  I have become a much more likable man and I love myself even more for that.  During those 2 years, I faced some insecurities I didn’t know I had.  I had to let go of the fear of being judged by strangers or society, and more importantly, I became comfortable talking to the beautiful random people, particularly the women that I meet in my everyday life.  I was now empowered with Charm.

Looking back, this has been an interesting journey.
2005:  My goal was to create a positive impact in my professional life as I just moved to California a few months before for a job.  I am proud that I succeeded.  I traveled a lot (which gave me little time to go out) and worked on bringing more value to my company and customers.  In my spare time, I spent countless hours reading e-books and forum posts on what was being developed as the science of attraction and social chemistry.  It was so fascinating!  There were so many theories on seduction.  How could I have gone into the real world not knowing anything about that?  Dad… I hate you! (j/k).  Some would have called me a keyboard jockey (KJ), but that would have been a real misnomer.  I couldn’t be a KJ.  Even though I was not going in the field to practice what I was reading, I wasn’t even writing anything online either.  All I was doing was  absorb as much information as I could so that I could understand the mindset behind all these “techniques.”  Even then, the fascination waned down.  It was tiring to read about social dynamics all the time.

2006 was a fun year.  It was the year where I decided I would work on personal growth.  I wanted to experience more of life.  As such, I took some ballroom dancing classes, I went skydiving, I went jumping off cliffs into a lake,  I went camping, and I went to the gun range for the first time.  I LOVED EVERY MINUTE OF IT!  I really learned to love myself.  You are definitely your best company.  Every so often, I still read some seduction/attraction theory, but I did it much more casually.  I aslo started testing out some of the things I’ve read about.  Interestingly, it did work!  People were quite enjoying my company in a way that I haven’t experienced before.  They wanted to hang out with me more than I wanted to hang out with them!  However, there were a few things that I realized.  Some of the Community preachings were just detrimental to  your personal well-being.  As Neil Strauss warned in his book, I witnessed some social robotting from men I saw at the bars and clubs.  Luckily, I was never very involved in the Community to lose my personality.  I despised routines (which are scripts that are designed to help you get into a conversation with women) and I refuse to use them.

Surprisingly, I decided to embark myself on a 3-day weekend bootcamp in September 2006 to polish my social skills.  I have read so many things on this Pickup Artist Community that I had to see for myself.  Is this real?  My choice of which bootcamp to take winded down to either Charisma Arts/Juggler Method or theApproach.  Both of them were appealing in the sense that they were based on natural game.  They were not going to teach you how to use gimmicks, tricks or routines to meet and attract women.  They were going to show you how to carry normal and fun interactions with people.  I chose theApproach.  Why?  It was simple, it was just a matter of cost.

That weekend was eye-opening!  I learned so much applicable knowledge that it was a bit overwhelming.  What theApproach teaches you is so simple that it is mind boggling.  Attraction is built on 3 core components: Value, Attainability and Compliance (VAC).  If you carry interactions without neglecting those 3 components, you have attraction!  VAC also helped me define and refine my relationships.  Since then, I’ve been applying this principle in all my interactions more conscienciously and I couldn’t be happier right now.

The funny thing is I “lost” my job around that time too.  With the increased spare time, I become more involed with the Community.  By the end of the year, I became an Administrator for the Unofficial Charisma Arts and Juggler Method Forums where I was asked to help increase traffic and member participation, then I also started working with theApproach to refine their curriculum and teaching methods.

So what does 2007 have in store for me?  I would like to focus back on my career, expand and strengthen my relationships and help other people filter through the vast amount of misinformation that roams around in the Community with this blog.

Until next time, be good 🙂

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