Dating Talk Uncensored
Posted by Khiem in: Articles, Interviews

There are times when I am amazed at the kind of honesty and deep kind of stuff I get to talk about with my guy friends late at night.

If you’ve read my blog for a while, you know I am all about demystifying incorrect beliefs.  I’m all about thinking and living life in a way that helps you achieve the things you set yourself to achieve.

So today, I decided to share with you my raw self.  You get to see me chat honestly about life and dating.  You get to see a side of me that not everyone gets to see unless you know me for a while… or unless you do long-a coaching with me.

Manuel is a friend of mine I’ve mentioned in a previous blog.  He was the jock who needed help with dating.  I’ve helped him for a few months and boy oh boy, he has come a long way since then.  Let’s just say he’s been having some fun.

A lot of the concepts I teach in bootcamps or in private coaching sessions are stuff I’ve experienced and studied myself… and more importantly, stuff that I have experimented with by teaching it to friends to see how it affects their lives.  That’s how I know whether the stuff I talk about works or not.

Grab yourself a cup of coffee or whatever your favorite drink is before reading.

It is a long post but you have plenty of time!!!  You have all the time in your life actually because…  well… we ARE talking about life.

1:16:18 AM Manuel : we tend to get lazy
1:16:22 AM Manuel : in relationships
1:16:23 AM Manuel : men
1:16:30 AM Manuel : don’t you think
1:16:30 AM Khiem : no… I typically don’t
1:16:37 AM Manuel : hmm
1:16:39 AM Khiem : b/c I put a high emphasis on always appreciating
1:16:52 AM Khiem : if I keep the idea of rewarding her behaviors by showing appreciation in various forms
1:16:55 AM Khiem : it keeps her hooked
1:17:04 AM Khiem : so I may get lazy on initiating sex
1:17:08 AM Khiem : but I don’t get lazy in the relationship
1:20:35 AM Manuel : yes, I meant in terms of sex
1:20:45 AM Manuel : sometimes I feel like the fact that it is guaranteed
1:20:52 AM Manuel : makes us take it for granted a little bit
1:20:57 AM Khiem : well maybe for you
1:21:01 AM Khiem : I try to not take it for granted
1:21:01 AM Manuel : in relationships
1:21:03 AM Khiem : b/c I told you before
1:21:07 AM Manuel : hahaha
1:21:08 AM Khiem : if you don’t do the effort to keep her happy
1:21:09 AM Manuel : i know
1:21:14 AM Khiem : her eyes and heart will start to wander
1:21:19 AM Khiem : it’s your job to keep her hooked
1:21:19 AM Manuel : YOU are the Supafreak
1:21:31 AM Khiem : just as it’s her job to seduce us with her femininity
1:22:19 AM Manuel : makes sense
1:22:35 AM Manuel : do you feel that requires a lot of attention on the man’s part?
1:22:49 AM Manuel : to where it interferes with other parts of his life?
1:23:04 AM Manuel : HELL, that is a great topic to write about
1:23:07 AM Manuel : on your blog
1:23:23 AM Manuel : So You Have HER…now WHAT?
1:23:41 AM Manuel : i would imagine lots of guys are just as stupified as me
1:23:43 AM Manuel : 🙂
1:25:16 AM Khiem : that’s a good topic
1:25:25 AM Khiem : I like that title too
1:25:31 AM Khiem : well what do you think?
1:25:36 AM Manuel : 🙂
1:25:50 AM Manuel : its an excellent topic that you have mastery in
1:26:10 AM Manuel : I particularly enjoy the part about wandering eyes
1:26:49 AM Manuel : and it would be great if you talk about how its your job to keep her interested through your masculinity
1:27:03 AM Manuel : much like it’s her job to seduce you with her femininity
1:27:18 AM Manuel : (I imagine that is what you meant as far as the masculine side)

1:28:17 AM Manuel : one good piece to address is the fine line between taking her for granted…and being overly caring
1:28:33 AM Manuel : not being masculine about how you desire her I suppose?
1:29:06 AM Manuel : ie. the guy that does anything and everything a.k.a the nice guy
1:29:18 AM Khiem : yes
1:29:27 AM Manuel : versus the masculine guy who treats her very well and keeps her wanting more and more
1:29:50 AM Manuel : i feel most men do not understand this distinction
1:30:02 AM Manuel : but the few that do understand it…
1:30:08 AM Manuel : oh, you can tell
1:30:20 AM Manuel : heck, I see it all the time, as rare as it is
1:30:25 AM Manuel : you are a fine example of it
1:30:37 AM Manuel : and I have known some guys that are able to do just that
1:30:43 AM Manuel : there is a way to them
1:31:04 AM Manuel : how they go about appreciating the woman without sacrificing masculinity
1:31:44 AM Manuel : its not about “giving up the power” as the PUA self proclaimed guru’s would call it
1:31:57 AM Manuel : I think it’s about not giving up your masculinity
1:32:11 AM Khiem : well… it’s simple
1:32:18 AM Khiem : it has nothing to do about giving or not giving
1:32:28 AM Khiem : it’s the simple act of staying true to yourself
1:32:39 AM Khiem : it’s not the “act” of trying to be masculine
1:32:44 AM Khiem : it’s the act of BEING who you are
1:32:48 AM Khiem : you are masculine at your core
1:32:51 AM Khiem : you know what you want
1:32:54 AM Khiem : you know what you care about
1:33:13 AM Khiem : if you always ARE that way… and don’t compromise that core identity when in relationsihp with a woman
1:33:18 AM Khiem : she perceives you as very masculine
1:33:28 AM Khiem : it’s not an act… it’s a way of BEING
1:34:54 AM Manuel : makes sense
1:35:09 AM Manuel : hell, you should just blog our discussion!
1:35:32 AM Manuel : that in itself would be a unique way to present the information
1:35:59 AM Khiem : maybe I will
1:36:00 AM Khiem : not sure yet
1:36:09 AM Khiem : I like to present my points well, if you know what I mean
1:38:39 AM Manuel : haha
1:38:43 AM Manuel : take cuts
1:38:48 AM Manuel : like a producer
1:38:50 AM Manuel : haha
1:38:58 AM Manuel : director, should i say
1:39:06 AM Manuel : i def see what you mean though
1:41:52 AM Khiem : cuts….
1:41:53 AM Khiem : geez
1:41:58 AM Khiem : what do you think I am?
1:42:06 AM Khiem : I can’t do “cuts” of the same writing?
1:42:13 AM Khiem : it’d be like… super gay!
1:42:21 AM Khiem : or I actually coined a new term today… “way gay”
1:42:26 AM Khiem : it’s “way gay”
1:42:29 AM Khiem : it has a nice ring to it
1:45:25 AM Manuel : haha
1:45:28 AM Manuel : way gay
1:45:46 AM Manuel : just started reading your new entry
1:45:52 AM Manuel : adam lyons
1:46:52 AM Manuel : wicked shit
1:47:14 AM Manuel : “When you make people feel comfortable around you, when you make people feel desired… and when you focus on giving people a good time, there is a feeling of magical-ness.  People just follow.”
1:47:26 AM Manuel : (I absolutely love this)
1:48:45 AM Khiem : why do you like this, huh?
1:52:08 AM Manuel : its something I experienced in college my friend
1:52:16 AM Manuel : when I led my student organization
1:52:25 AM Manuel : this quote just captures it
1:52:36 AM Manuel : brought back a memory of who I once was
1:52:41 AM Manuel : deep down I still am
1:53:03 AM Manuel : I have just not found how to reapply what I use to do in college
1:53:09 AM Manuel : to the realm of life after college
1:53:28 AM Manuel : this quote is not just about picking up women…its about life in general
1:55:50 AM Khiem : well yes
1:55:58 AM Khiem : a lot of what I teach can be applied to broader things
1:56:06 AM Khiem : I just teach it THRU the medium of picking up chicks
1:56:51 AM Manuel : HA
1:56:56 AM Manuel : great entry
1:57:09 AM Manuel : I really enjoyed that!
1:57:17 AM Manuel : so even at the end…
1:57:24 AM Manuel : he failed to swallow his pride
1:57:28 AM Manuel : and say hello
1:57:36 AM Manuel : these guys lack something my friend
1:57:45 AM Khiem : oh the PUA guy lol
1:57:50 AM Khiem : well I don’t know if he recognized her
1:57:50 AM Manuel : not sure if its inner confidence
1:57:52 AM Khiem : so i dunno
1:57:58 AM Manuel : oh ok
1:58:01 AM Manuel : funny though
1:58:02 AM Khiem : I only heard the girl’s side
1:58:21 AM Khiem : I mean … as bad as your memory is.. you usually remember face don’t you?
2:01:42 AM Manuel : yes
2:02:00 AM Manuel : who was he an instructor for?
2:02:04 AM Manuel : what company?
2:02:17 AM Khiem : [Editor’s note:  information edited out for privacy reasons]
2:04:37 AM Khiem : so you tell me!!!
2:04:44 AM Khiem : all I can think about is… it’s funny
2:04:53 AM Khiem : you tried to hit on my g/f’s sister a few years back
2:04:57 AM Khiem : she ignored you
2:05:04 AM Khiem : you tried to then hit up my g/f a few years back
2:05:10 AM Khiem : she was somewhat attached… and she didn’t go out with you
2:05:14 AM Khiem : and now.. I date her…
2:05:19 AM Khiem : and she’s attached to me like glue
2:06:03 AM Manuel : haha
2:08:38 AM Khiem : you should check some of my other blogs if you want
2:08:41 AM Khiem : it’s fun stuff [Editor’s notes:  Manuel hasn’t read my latest blog entries for a while]
2:09:00 AM Manuel : def
2:09:04 AM Manuel : i normally do
2:09:23 AM Manuel : Khiem, its hard for me to believe how clueless i was at this man
2:09:39 AM Manuel : i was just thinking back to costa rica 3 years ago
2:09:59 AM Manuel : one girl, I failed to kiss and ended all the magic that night with that little move
2:10:29 AM Manuel : and this other lady, who was married, (granted I was not attracted to her)
2:10:52 AM Manuel : she took me up to her room while she called her husband “real quick” to check in before we went back down for some beers
2:10:56 AM Manuel : and I thought nothing of it
2:11:05 AM Manuel : wow…unbelievable
2:12:10 AM Khiem : b/c you weren’t “ready” to see the real opportunities
2:12:16 AM Khiem : guys who are good with girls SEE the opportunity
2:12:22 AM Khiem : just like good business men smell opportunity
2:13:30 AM Manuel : yes, i see that now
2:13:40 AM Manuel : hell, even as late as last year
2:13:46 AM Manuel : already in the community
2:14:04 AM Manuel : I had no idea how to pick up on women’s innuendo’s, etc..etc..
2:14:09 AM Manuel : twice i can remember..
2:14:36 AM Manuel : once with Jack, when i first wen out with him a girl is out with a guy, and another “couple”. I assume they are together
2:14:40 AM Manuel : so think nothing
2:14:44 AM Manuel : i head to bar
2:14:59 AM Manuel : say hi, she is quite welcoming, offers me a drink
2:15:02 AM Manuel : gets one for Jack too
2:15:05 AM Manuel : i’m thinking cool
2:15:36 AM Manuel : got to the “where are you from?” she responds with, “Oh, i live in Jersey, I am actually here for one night.”
2:15:51 AM Manuel : I respond with “oh okay”
2:15:56 AM Manuel : completely oblivious
2:19:21 AM Khiem : and… how does that make u feel now?
2:19:48 AM Manuel : it def gives meaning to that damn saying…
2:20:01 AM Manuel : If I only knew then what I know now
2:20:30 AM Khiem : exactly what I say all the time 🙂
2:20:42 AM Manuel : I feel slightly down about all the missed opportunities
2:21:09 AM Manuel : but very thankful for the knowledge I was fortunate to learn
2:21:27 AM Manuel : better to know now than 20 years from now
2:21:29 AM Khiem : hahaha ok
2:21:40 AM Manuel : I see so many guys that just settle for “a girl”
2:21:49 AM Manuel : not a girl they love or have great chemistry with
2:21:53 AM Manuel : just “a girl”
2:22:12 AM Manuel : because they honestly don’t know any better
2:22:23 AM Manuel : and have left this dept of their life completely to chance
2:22:51 AM Manuel : they are glad to simply have “a girl”
2:23:03 AM Manuel : much like the people who are just glad to have “a job”
2:23:15 AM Manuel : heck, maybe that’s another good topic to address
2:23:33 AM Khiem : ahhaah
2:23:39 AM Khiem : are you on an inspiring kick or what?
2:23:39 AM Manuel : write about the guys that never find “this”
2:23:49 AM Manuel : 🙂
2:23:54 AM Khiem : well Manny… sometimes ignorance is bliss
2:23:57 AM Khiem : b/c you don’t know about it
2:23:59 AM Khiem : you don’t miss out on it
2:24:07 AM Khiem : and therefore you don’t get miserable for it
2:24:14 AM Khiem : same thing with developing countries
2:24:16 AM Khiem : they are overall happier
2:24:20 AM Khiem : b/c they don’t know what they miss out
2:24:19 AM Manuel : deep down inside
2:24:26 AM Khiem : so they just enjoy the simplicity of things
2:24:32 AM Manuel : i do think some are completely unaware
2:24:48 AM Manuel : but I also believe that many of them know
2:24:52 AM Manuel : deep down inside
2:25:02 AM Manuel : just like many people know they settled for a job in accounting or whatever
2:25:13 AM Manuel : sure things turn out nice
2:25:22 AM Manuel : and you can get pleasure from other areas
2:25:31 AM Manuel : but many of us know
2:26:13 AM Manuel : i think too many people focus on the getting laid part of learning this stuff
2:26:24 AM Manuel : but in reality, there is a deeper level
2:26:39 AM Manuel : learning this stuff is about more than just getting laid
2:27:28 AM Khiem : well you get that
2:27:31 AM Khiem : not everyone gets that
2:27:42 AM Manuel : its about obtaining the knowledge to understand yourself , women, and attraction, so that you can be fully confident to go for what you really want
2:27:44 AM Khiem : and b/c they are at a different level of emotional maturity
2:27:49 AM Manuel : what you are passionate about
2:27:51 AM Khiem : it’s all about understanding yourself
2:27:58 AM Khiem : women is only a reflection of your understanding of yourself
2:28:03 AM Manuel : the woman and/or women that really make you tick
2:28:19 AM Manuel : and the one’s you make tick
2:29:26 AM Manuel : you always have the greatest little quotes
2:29:28 AM Manuel : 🙂
2:29:32 AM Khiem : hahaah thanks
2:29:37 AM Manuel : i need to start putting those on my wall
2:29:41 AM Khiem : I don’t try to come up with catchy phrases
2:29:48 AM Manuel : i know
2:29:52 AM Manuel : that’s the beauty
2:29:54 AM Manuel : haha
2:30:04 AM Manuel : i know you well enough to realize that
2:30:23 AM Manuel : to the point where I have to stop you on the phone and say “Khiem! write that down!
2:30:28 AM Manuel : its good stuff
2:30:52 AM Manuel : with your responding “what was it i said again”
2:30:54 AM Khiem : well I’m still learning to recognize my own genius at times
2:32:55 AM Manuel : you and I, we would never work out
2:33:04 AM Manuel : you’re like my cocky little brother
2:33:13 AM Manuel : I am sooooo not your type [Editor’s note:  this is a joking reference to my previous post about the PUA using that cocky and funny line to talk to my girlfriend’s little sister]
2:33:15 AM Khiem : I had lunch with an former client today… and he was reminding me of the stuff I said that he found valuable during his bootcamp
2:33:19 AM Khiem : and I still dont’ remember what I told him lol
2:33:28 AM Manuel : hehe
2:33:59 AM Manuel : you have a profound way to you man
2:34:04 AM Manuel : my buddies told me that
2:34:08 AM Manuel : when you did that speech in NYC
2:34:17 AM Manuel : I have always known that
2:34:25 AM Manuel : I honestly think of you as a life mentor
2:34:27 AM Manuel : haha
2:34:44 AM Khiem : thanks… but as profound as I was… I don’t think I got any of them kickstarted to do something about it
2:34:49 AM Khiem : they think it sounds cool
2:34:52 AM Khiem : and they go on with their merry life
2:34:57 AM Manuel : comes from within
2:35:11 AM Manuel : you have to want it
2:35:16 AM Manuel : or recognize it
2:35:24 AM Manuel : recognize the value
2:36:02 AM Manuel : ha….I tell Candice about you
2:36:18 AM Manuel : i always think it would be funny as hell for her to meet you
2:36:28 AM Manuel : especially if you tell her what you do
2:36:32 AM Khiem : why’s that?  she probably wouldn’t see that side of me
2:36:32 AM Manuel : LoL
2:36:39 AM Khiem : like she’d get the whole dating coaching
2:36:46 AM Khiem : but not the profound stuff you and I talk about
2:36:49 AM Manuel : yeah
2:36:57 AM Manuel : right, i mean the dating coach stuff
2:37:03 AM Manuel : profound side is diff
2:38:44 AM Khiem : talking to you makes me want to write
2:38:47 AM Khiem : I hate you for that sometimes
2:38:52 AM Khiem : b/c it’s late at night and I should go to bed!
2:39:00 AM Khiem : but then again, I enjoy it
2:39:04 AM Manuel : LoL
2:39:26 AM Manuel : honestly, I am inspired right now
2:39:39 AM Manuel : i noticed that learning from you always does that
2:39:52 AM Khiem : honestly, if you feel inspired, write me letters LOL… or emails…
2:39:52 AM Manuel : I need to get my ass up to L.A. just to hang with you guys
2:39:57 AM Manuel : it would do me good
2:40:02 AM Khiem : b/c those are the things that puts my creativity in high gear
2:40:13 AM Khiem : when I hear that from someone, it puts me in a writing mood
2:40:19 AM Khiem : or in a mood to talk/explain/discuss
2:40:25 AM Khiem : when someone tells me write a book
2:40:29 AM Khiem : and I sit by myself on the comp
2:40:32 AM Khiem : I get a blank mind
2:40:39 AM Khiem : b/c there’s a lot to say… but where do I start?
2:40:51 AM Manuel : makes sense
2:40:56 AM Khiem : if I had your questions… or your inspirations… or anyone who found some of the stuff I say useful
2:40:59 AM Khiem : it gives me a starting point
2:41:02 AM Khiem : and that’s really all I need
2:41:08 AM Khiem : that… starting point
2:41:11 AM Khiem : and then I start writing

2:42:00 AM Manuel : maybe I do need to move to L.A. for a bit
2:42:28 AM Manuel : for some reason you inspire me to do great things with my life
2:42:36 AM Manuel : not just with women
2:43:23 AM Khiem : really?
2:43:29 AM Khiem : I didn’t know I had that effect on you
2:43:30 AM Manuel : yeah man
2:43:39 AM Manuel : yes sir
2:43:54 AM Manuel : i take most of the stuff we talk about and apply it to everything in my life
2:44:00 AM Manuel : it has profound meaning to me
2:44:03 AM Manuel : like you said
2:44:14 AM Manuel : you teach it through attraction and seduction
2:44:34 AM Manuel : but your principles go beyond that
2:44:45 AM Manuel : some guys don’t “get it”
2:44:47 AM Manuel : i do
2:45:33 AM Manuel : comments like this…
2:45:35 AM Manuel : “When you make people feel comfortable around you, when you make people feel desired… and when you focus on giving people a good time, there is a feeling of magical-ness.  People just follow.”
2:45:44 AM Manuel : carry much weight with me
2:45:55 AM Manuel : probably more so than many other fellas
2:46:09 AM Manuel : because i know and have experienced exactly what you mean
2:46:41 AM Khiem : well that’s the thing… you recognize it b/c you experienced it
2:46:47 AM Khiem : I write about it… but not everyone sees it
2:48:05 AM Manuel : you know Khiem, without sounding “way gay”
2:48:46 AM Manuel : for as little time as I have known you, my relationship with you is what I imagine it feels like to have a big brother
2:48:56 AM Manuel : deep down, I know you care
2:49:01 AM Manuel : i fell it
2:49:03 AM Manuel : i feel it
2:49:18 AM Manuel : and I am sure you are the same way with your clients and your other friends
2:49:32 AM Manuel : that to me, is what makes you a stand out in my book
2:50:17 AM Khiem : awww … thanks man!
2:51:17 AM Manuel : thanks to you, buddy

Well, there you have it!  This is a glimpse of the kind of stuff I talk to friends and long-term clients.  If you have a topic idea or a question you really want to know my take on, shoot me an e-mail.

I love to hear from you guys.


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