Why I Need A Dating Coach
Posted by Khiem in: Articles

Dating coaches are kind of a novelty.

If you asked 20 years ago if anyone knew a dating coach, you’d be hard press to find an answer.  When did we, as social creatures, started to need a guide or an expert to teach us how to find love?  Isn’t our desire to find a mate innate to our DNA?

As our lives get more complex, what does it take to attract the kind of people we want to date and marry?

If I was to self-promote, I’d say everyone needs a dating coach.  But that’s not what I’m here to write about today.  Today, I want to answer the one question I get all the time when I tell people that I am a dating coach:  what kind of people come to you for services?

Please meet Vincent.

Vincent is like you and me.  He’s just a regular guy, living his life the best way he can but for whatever reason, as he gets close to his 30th birthday, he feels the need for a dating coach.  From his words to me, he feels an urge to really change his life for the better… and that’s why he contacted me.

So with his permission, I am reposting a couple of blogs he wrote on his own site so that you can see for yourself that the people who come to me for guidance are really normal people, like you and me.  What is amazing to me is the story that drove him to contact me.

(Click the link below the picture to read the rest of the post)

You're on my to do list t-shirt

Read on.  

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The Last Five Years

Have you heard of or seen the show “America’s Got Talent?” How about “So You Think You Can Dance” or “Dancing with the Stars,” it seems one can’t turn on the television without at least catching a glimpse of those shows a few times.  I’ve seen an episode or two myself, and the performers are amazing, but I just can’t watch those shows.  Five years ago I was young, or at least I felt young.  Five years ago as I felt as young as the dancers and performers on those shows:  vibrant, energetic, hopeful.  I felt passion in motion.  I felt creativity flowed through my body.  I felt choreography that needed to be expressed.  Five years ago, I didn’t have wrinkles on my face, and I believed in… a lot of things.

A lot can happen in five years, or a lot of nothing can happen.  The last five years for me has been pretty lonely, passion-wise and romance-wise, everything-wise.

Something intense, even if it didn’t last forever, would be nice.  I’d rather have “love and lost,” but so far I’ve “never loved at all.”  I knew this year I needed to move in a different direction, something riskier, bolder, sexier, something more exciting, more passionate; something to reignite my desire to thrive.  Right now I just need fuel, instant gratification before I can fly again.

I thought my passion was motion, lines and rhythm:  to create a visual moving image, converting the texture and moods of sound into something visual tangible, to transform moods into movement, to dance.  I was wrong.

Dance is only the language.  Technicality, musicality and so on… knowing how to dance and dancing well is like mastering the English language, poetry and grammar, but what I really wanted, what we as human beings really want, is to communicate and to share something.

Share not anything, only something that is amazing, vibrant and fun.  I want to share something intense, passionate, deep and rich.  Something moving, soft and intimate, powerful and aggressive, graceful, beautiful, intense, hot. Intelligent, thoughtful, creative, intriguing.  I want it all.

Where is the woman who can set my passions in motion?  Where’s my dancer?  Where’s my artist, my singer, my philosopher, my poet, my equal, my woman?  I think I should have found and met her a long time ago, because the poetry that longs to be in motion in my soul won’t yearn forever, and I’ve already felt a few petals of my heart wither.

So to help set my passion in motion, I’ve contacted a dating coach, I can’t wait to meet him this Saturday.

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Spunky

It’s hard to describe but you know it when you see it.  We’re talking about a splash of color, bright screaming neon colors, maybe bright purple, orange, pink, green even.  Think color designer, no wait… think interior decorator, think designer, think of a palette that speaks sophisticated but a little crazy, sexy, fun.  I’m talking about a girl.  Maybe tan classy, plaid dressy slacks, maybe a white dressy button up shirt, but luxurious and shiny silver diagonal stripes, very subtle, barely visible.  You know what, it’s not even her style, it’s more of her look, her expression, her walk.

She glides into the room, into a coffeeshop, into your view, her posture impeccably even, hips torso, head, eyes directly forward in the direction of her travel.  That is until she turns to look at you, a very slow controlled deliberate, subtle turn of her head, you see her eyes slowly widen, her smile slowly opens… you know she’s a dancer, the classically trained kind.

But what ruins her image is this silly-isly bright pink hair.  And then a split second later, a second glance, I see those shades of brightly color strands, how it compliments her pastel tan slacks, how it compliments her green eyes. Silly bright neon pink evolves into audacious, bold, sexy and fun.  Classically trained no doubt but you know she can swing.  Elegant but with a splash, a generous heavy douse, of spunky.

Classy spunky girls have never in my life fail to make my heart skip a beat.

I know what I want, I know what I have to offer, so why am I still single.  When you get older, a little part of you do die, but then that song from Webber’s “Aspects of Love,” plays in my head, “I’m still young don’t forget, it isn’t over yet, so many hearts for me to thrill.”

That’s why I need a dating coach, because spunky girls intrigue me. Because I’ve never dated a spunky girl before.  Because I want to.  Because even as I’m waiting to meet my dating coach, I can’t help but think of the girl that I want.  I can’t wait.


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