August 17th, 2012  (1)
The Player & The Art Of Seduction
Posted by Khiem in: Advice, Articles, First Impressions

I was about to post the new podcast for MTV’s Guy Code episode 4 but instead, I thought I’d share something else with you today.  If you’ve been following my blog, you’ll notice that we’ve had a couple discussions on what it means to be a player or what seduction is all about in our recent podcasts.

When I say “player,” I don’t always mean it with the typical negative connotation that most people have.  What I mean by it is the letting out of the sensual lover side that is innate in you.


I personally love to hear other people’s take on the art of seduction and I discovered this little post randomly on a while ago.  I was saving it for the right time to share it with you and today is the day.  It doesn’t seem that the original author still has it posted on her site but it is such a beautiful written piece that I feel we all need to read it for ourselves.

For your enjoyment, here’s a woman’s take on what it takes to seduce a woman.

[Editor’s Note:  I took the liberty to bold and italicize certain phrases]

The Player & The Art of Seduction

The first step to seducing a woman is to win over her mind, try to appear as genuine as you can and don’t feed her lines. A real player knows that rewards only come for those who are patient.

Now ladies, a player is not a man who gets his own and leaves a trail of broken hearts, a player is not someone who jumps from one bed to the next. A real player, is someone who lives his life like a legend, puts a woman into a passionate romance, and works his job like he built the entire company.

Seduction, is a game that forever requires leveling up. It is not lying or taking the first drunken girl back home or nagging a woman to death. It is an art and a skill. Most people will misunderstand it and think it is all about the money and the looks. Wrong. Boys you could think you’re perfect and measure up to all the others, because you have perfect teeth and a perfect body, but you are wrong and will sleep alone for a long time. If you think the amount of cash in your wallet does the trick you are wrong and your bed is a cold as your cash.

Seduction is founded on confidence. A man who does have any self confidence is nothing like a player. Without it, you’ll probably try to trap a girl with cheap pick up lines and a lame game, but honesty is more alluring to a woman as well as a man who is aware of what he truly wants who is solid and grounded.

Physical attraction is still important if you want to seduce a woman properly. You need to be well dressed and clean, you do not need to look like Brad Pitt or whoever, but you do need to look your best. I am sorry boys, but there is no second chance at first impression, and that is one thing that personally works with me. I will pay attention to it, but that doesn’t mean I am superficial for looking at the you’re dressed. Also, if you lack fashion sense, that is perfectly fine, but hygiene cannot be stressed out. Just consider good shoes, pressed pants and shirt and a classy watch. Class and seduction work together.

Harmlessness. Do not appear dangerous, this is not about high school anymore and you don’t need to be the Bad Boy anymore. Don’t expect her to give you the keys to her place, she will be cautious, but worth it. Also, smile but do not leer, do not objectify her body because a woman will notice when you are ignoring the words coming out of her mouth for her cleavage.

Charm! Seduction also is 10% projection of success, 10% appearance, 10% intelligence and 70% charm! But charm is another art, it means making a person aware that you feel good about them.

Intelligence. As a girl, I will want your mind before you body. Women are mental and emotional rather than visual and physical. Engage her thoughts and emotions with questions about who she is and what are her opinions. Don’t investigate too much or interview her, just start a thoughtful conversation. I am sorry but a man who sits next to me at a bar and starts saying random things and doesn’t know how to converse is a dick and will only make me want to get out. Avoid talking about sex, or previous relationships, that’s a real turn off.

Emotional seductiveness. That’s all in four words, excitement, excitement, excitement and spontaneity . Make her adrenaline rush without looking crazy of stalking her and she’ll be addicted to you. Women are creatures of emotions hence the estrogen hormone.

Chivalry. Most men think chivalry is dead. Wrong. That can also work in your favor if you do an act of a well trained gentleman like opening a door. I thought of it as pathetic for years because I was immature, but now it gets me all the time. Do it, I’ll like you. Learn etiquette. Conduct yourself with your best manners.

Sincerity and honesty. Be genuine, women can see the false interest easily.

Greatest turn-ons. Make her feel beautiful, all day every day. But don’t use it as a tool, so just don’t say it right before coming on to her and teasing her, or else she’ll figure out you want her sexually and only sexually.

Remember, a man paints with his brains, not with his hands.

Originally posted on

So now that you’ve done reading it, take a breather and read it again!  And when your mind starts wandering, post a few comments.

What does seduction mean to you?  What have you seen work for you or on you?  Let’s hear your stories.

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