June 7th, 2012  (0)
HBO Girls Season 1 Episode 7 Review
Posted by Khiem in: Articles, Podcast, Product Reviews

I know I know… I’m late on my HBO “Girls” Guy Commentary podcasts.

Sometimes, certain events in life take precedence and without going into details, I was out of town for the last 2 weeks.  However, that doesn’t mean I haven’t been able to keep up with my new favorite show on TV: HBO “Girls“!!!  I’ve even managed to get a few more people hooked on the show while on my travel.

Since my last podcast review, 3 episodes have aired.  Episode 6 entitled “The Return” focused primarily on Hannah coming home to visit her parents and discovering how little have changed in her hometown and how much she has grown (or so we are led to believe).


In between her hard times dealing with her parents, we get to see her sleep with an old high school acquaintance who’s now a pharmacist, we see her parents have sex and get injured, we get a glimpse of her former high school friends’ circle and for the big reveal, we discover that Hannah is finally accepting the fact that she needs to grow up when she decides not to ask her parents for rent money.  And for the final twist, we discover that Adam… might actually be developing a real soft spot for Hannah.

As fun or uneventful as that episode was (depends on how you view it), I’m going to skip my review of it and talk to you about episode 6 entitled “Welcome to Bushwick a.k.a. The Crackcident.”  THIS, to me, was the more interesting episode.  Every character in the show had their own little story arc and we really get to see each of them move forward in their own different ways.  In addition, this episode was WAY FUNNY!

Just check out the preview clip below:


As usual, my buddy Evan is in to discuss what we totally loved and hated about episode 7 and what kind of attitude guys can learn from the show to improve their dating lives.  Sounds crazy but yes!  You can sometimes learn good things about dating from TV!

Sit down, relax and listen… you are in for a treat.

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    May 8th, 2012  (0)
Why You Shouldn’t Worry So Much About Other People’s Thoughts Of You
Posted by Khiem in: Advice, Articles

Today, I got a good reminder lesson for myself.  It’s actually a lesson that I feel a lot of people should learn early on in life hopefully:

Don’t worry so much about what other people think or do.

I know it’s common.  Deep inside, we all want to be liked.  So we look to other people, our family, our friends, our peers to gain insight into our own selves, to validate us, to tell us that we are alright.  We spend a lot of time worrying about what other people may think of us, how they may judge us.

I remember feeling that anxiety the most when I just turned 30.  I’m 32 now, as of a few days ago.  Back then, I started comparing myself a lot to my friends.  What have I achieved so far in my life?  How are my friends doing?  How come I’m not where they are at?  Shouldn’t I be married already?  How come all my friends seem to be settling down already?  Is something wrong with me?

I think it’s natural to self reflect from time to time.  It can be healthy to want to know how people perceive us.  It’s a sign of maturity in self-awareness… Sometimes, it can be a decent quantifiable gauge of whether we are going in the right direction.  But sometimes, it does get out of hand.  So today, I want to remind everyone:  please please please don’t let people’s perception of you dictate what you do so much.

In dating, this is even that much more important.

It was endearing, really.  I felt like a big brother.  I was listening to him, smiling inside. He was so eager to ask me questions.  He has never met a guy who did dating coaching before.  I was waiting on a friend to be done with his work so we  started chatting.  He was Asian, just like myself.  I looked at him in quiet amusement.  He was 19, decently good looking, with high cheek bones and his long, black, straight hair pulled back behind a bandana.

As soon as he learned of what I did, he opened up to me about his situation.  He was seeing a girl.  It’s been a couple months…  But everything seems to have gone too fast, he said.

– What do you mean, “too fast”?, I asked.

– …like the second date

– Who’s to say that’s too fast?  Based on what?

– Well, I feel that’s all that we might do.  I talked to my roommate a long time last night.  He and I agreed that I’m the rebound guy.  I’m OK with that.  But how do you know if you are JUST the rebound guy?

– So what if you are just the rebound guy?

– I dunno…  What does she want?  My roommate and I talked all night.  We kept on wondering what she wants.

– Why is it so important for you to define the relationship?

–  Shouldn’t you?  I think it’s important.  Don’t girls like that?  Well, I want to know.  What if I wanted to be more than the rebound guy?  When I met her, she just broke up with her boyfriend.

–  OK and…?  […] Do you like her?

– Yea… I do.  But she’s going to Spain in a few weeks.  Does that count?  How does she see me?

– Well, what do you want?

– Hmm… I dunno.

–  Do you want more?

– I dunno.  I dunno yet.

– That’s your problem right there.  Why are you so worried about what she wants when you don’t even know what you want.

– I dunno.  I never thought of it like that.  My roommate and I… we just kept on going in circles wondering what she wants.

– You can only know what you can do or who you can be once you know what you want.  Think of it this way.  If you are going on a business deal, you want something from the other person.  What do you bring to the table?  What do you have to offer?  If you don’t know what you want, there’s no negotiation you can have with what the other person wants.   So going back to your original question, as of right now, you can be whatever you want!  You just need to know what you want first.

– Yeaaa!…. it makes sense.

–  And with her, the only thing is… you might have to change the nature of what you do with her just to make sure she sees you the way you want her to see you.  For example, make sure that when you hang out with her, you don’t go straight to the bedroom.  That way, it will allow her to see you in a new light and it will allow you to discover different sides of her as well.  That’s how you develop the connection that will create the potential for a relationship, assuming that’s what you want.  Just one thing though, don’t be too nice.

Miley Cyrus Sticking Out Her Tongue

– What do you mean?  Why can’t I be nice?  Why is it that everyone says that?  I’ve noticed that when I date girls I’m not totally into, I’m not super nice.  But with girls I like, I tend to be really nice.

– Again, that’s because you worry too much about what other people think of you, here with what she thinks of you.  You want her to like you.  It’s not that you can’t be nice. Just don’t put her on a pedestal.  Let me put it this way.  If you met a fat girl… scratch that, even a hot girl that really really really liked you and was super nice to you all-the-time.  How do you feel?

– It’s weird.  It’s awkward.

– Why?

– I dunno.  It doesn’t feel natural.

– Exactly.  That’s because no one wants to be on someone else’s pedestal.  It doesn’t feel right.  When you are being too nice, it’s not real.  People know that.  It’s not the real you.  It’s not genuine.  So if you want a a chance at a relationship with her and you base it on you not being real or genuine…

– It’s not going to work.  It’s not gonna be sustainable!

– [smile]  You got it.  Don’t worry though, this will pass with age.  As you get better with dating, you’ll worry less about what other people think so you can be more of yourself.  Right now, I’m sure that’s why you and your guy friends probably talk about who does what with who. You want to be liked by them and without knowing it, you try to outdo each other.  You aren’t really trying to impress girls, you are trying to impress guys!

– Yeah, that’s true!  I don’t know why we do that.

– Again, that’s because you worry too much about what people think of you.

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    March 28th, 2011  (0)
Get Out Of Your Head, Reality Isn’t Always As It Seems
Posted by Khiem in: Articles, First Impressions

People must be liking the new direction I’m taking with the blog.

Today, inspired by my “First Impressions” series of blogs (first couple stories are here and here), Donnie wants to share a personal story.  He is going to talk about how to not let the monkey chatter cloud your mind and make the best out of your first few interactions with someone.

If you have a an insightful and entertaining story you want to share that truly speaks of how people really think while dating or socializing, email me.  I don’t think you need “gurus” to show you how to date better.  When it comes to improving your chances at meeting and attracting the people you want in your life, I believe we can all learn from each other if we shared more of our experiences with one another.

And Kiss N’ Tale is the place for you to do that!

Right now, the series is about “first impressions” or “first love/lust.”  I also would love people to write about bad sex, interracial dating or being too much of a nice guy.

******************************

Have I been wrong all along?  Back track to a few months ago, to when I was just starting to open myself up and really put myself out there to meet people, everything I saw was what I believed to be real.

I’d work myself up the courage to go and talk to the cute girl behind the counter at the coffee shop and rather than just placing my order, I would talk to her and see what she is all about.  We’d have a good fun conversation that would last for a good few minutes depending on how many people were in line (usually I went up when there was no line) or until I had exhausted the conversation and felt like I had left a good impression.

So what happened the next time I saw her?

I’d walk into the coffee shop and I’d instantly look to see if she was working that day.  When I saw her and she’d look up at me and then look back at what she was doing, all I could think about was:  “Did I creep her out?” “Does she not remember me?” “Should I just leave?”.  Explosions of monkey chatter would go off in my head when in reality, she was just working and being focused on her job, nothing personal.

Monkey Chatter

Do you find yourself “expecting” things from women?  When you think about it, how many times have you not talked to a girl because she didn’t show immediate bubbly enthusiasm that you were in her presence?

What you see is not what you always get. (more…)

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