November 14th, 2012  (0)
How ONE Cool Guy Approaches His Dating Life (Podcast)
Posted by Khiem in: Advice, First Impressions, Interviews

If you want to learn anything fast in life, nothing beats having a mentor.

But short of having a mentor, how about just asking what other successful people do?

Today, I have the privilege of interviewing one of my good friend Eric about his take on dating and what he thinks men specifically need to learn about women.  You’ll hear some of his personal dating stories, you’ll laugh, and more importantly, I hope you learn something from it.

Without further ado, give a hand to my friend Eric for spending a good hour sharing his insights on the matter.

Topics covered include:

  • Some of the qualities/traits Eric feels gives him an edge in dating
  • What process does he use to go from online meeting to real date
  • How he manages to bring up dirty talk or phone sex to a woman
  • The latest crazy date he’s been on
  • How having sex early with a woman affects the way she perceives your future potential
  • The potential negatives and disappointments of online dating
  • Gold diggers
  • Funny logic from unexpected women
  • 3 things you can do to be more like Eric

If you liked this kind of podcast, make sure to let me know.  I’m wanting to refine the topics I cover with you guys so post a comment.

I’ll see you next week.

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    October 22nd, 2009  (5)
I Smell Poo-ahh (PUA)
Posted by Khiem in: Articles, First Impressions

I always love a good PUA story.

As much time as PUAs spend on learning advanced social and dating skills, they aren’t always so subtle (or good) when they are talking to women.

I can always smell them!

Last month, I went with David Wygant to the PUA Summit 2009 in Hollywood for his talk.  I knew that if I brought my girflriend, I might have to protect her from guys oogling at her… or worse, from guys trying to practice their recently learned techniques on her.  Nonetheless, I decided to take her along.

I’ve told her about the Seduction Community before.  She’s never seen anything Community related so she was pretty excited to discover what this whole movement was about.

As I arrived at the Renaissance hotel, I started scanning the room for familiar faces.  There were quite a lot more people this time around that I didn’t know.  I guess that’s what happens when I don’t actively keep in touch with people in the Community.  I definitely wasn’t familiar with some of the speakers listed on the schedule.

We entered the room quietly in the middle of Adam Lyon’s speech and sat in the back.  I love Adam!  I think the world of him.  He and his wife Amanda are the nicest people.  I wish I’d get to see them more often but as much as I like him, I didn’t like his speech as much as the other years.  As a speaker, he’s absolutely fantastic!  He always wow the crowd with his humor and stories.  What I didn’t like was his message (at least the part of the message I caught).

In his talk, he explained to the guys how you can almost guarantee success in transitioning to sex with a woman by justifying your every move… even if it didn’t completely make logical sense.  As long as you give a seemingly valid reason to why you are doing this or that with her, why you are leading her somewhere, she will follow.

From a psychological perspective, that’s pretty interesting!  It shows you that people don’t really think for themselves that much.  As long as what you are doing makes some sense and that you do it with enough conviction, people will just follow.  Honestly, it’s kind of scary to me.  It just shows me how stupid we really are as human beings, but oh well…

The reason I didn’t like his message is simple.

In my world, if you are a powerful and genuine guy who kind of embodies the lover for women, you don’t have to justify anything!  Sex with you just happens (or so that’s what women say)!  It feels like a fairy tale.  For them, being with you feels natural and right.  It just happens because you understand how women get turned on.  You understand that women love the idea of being swept away… and YOU are that guy who lets them live their own romantic comedy or sexual fantasy through you! 😛

If you have to justify anything to her, you probably didn’t do a good job at making her feel (more…)

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    February 3rd, 2009  (3)
What’s Wrong With PUA Methods?
Posted by Khiem in: Articles

Most of you guys who’ve read David Wygant‘s blog already know what David feels about Pickup Artists and their methods.  He doesn’t believe in them.

If you’ve read my blog for a while, I’ve already detailed many times what you can and can’t expect from PUA teachings.

It’s not that they necessarily don’t work.  Most of them are either childish, manipulative or plainly unnecessary (therefore, it takes you longer to get good with women)

Funny thing is David and I still receive a lot of emails from guys asking us the same question over and over again:

 “I recently read a book on xyz method.  I want to learn more about attracting women.  Do you think xyz method is a good starting point for those learning to attract women?”

 Well… before we even answer that question, let me ask you a few of my own: 

 What are you looking for?

  • What kind of man are you?  Better… what kind of man do you want to be?  Are you wanting to be a Pickup Artist who speaks in pickup lingo to his friends and who always have to think of techniques every time he meets a women or do you want to be a the normal cool guy with whom women always look forward to meet up?               

  • Where do you want to meet women?  A lot of the more funny, gimmicky methods out there are geared for you to use in high energy and loud environments such as bars and clubs.  It’s always good to learn how to have fun in any environments because the more you enjoy yourself, the more you project good vibes and the more attractive you become… however, do you really need to learn lines and games for you to know how to have fun?               

  • What kind of women do you want to meet?  I’m not going to lie to you.  I’ve hung out with a lot of Pickup Artists and the types of women they attract are not the same kind of women I attract.  Enough said.  I like to talk to intelligent, caring, independent, emotionally stable and overall confident or self-made women. 
     
    When you read about a method, try imagining what kind of women would fall for those techniques.  I know a lot of PUA will tell you their stuff works on everyone but if you can feel something is fishy when you use some of their techniques or lines, the woman can too!  If they don’t say anything to point it out to you, it’s because they are letting you do your thing… because they already like you.  
     
    This is a huge topic of contention but when you go out using techniques, ask yourself:  how much is the woman liking me because of my use of techniques… and how much is it because she already likes me for who I am and for my energy or vibe?
  • Do you see women as just an object to conquer and have sex with or do you truly enjoy and appreciate all that a woman can bring or contribute to your life?  This is not a criticism of ALL PUA methods but let’s be honest, a lot of these guys don’t actually like women.  They just want to bed them and as such, they have loose standards on what makes a woman worthy of the kind of man they are.  I personally don’t want to be with everyone out there.  There’re definitely a few women that I won’t associate myself with, no matter how hot they are.
      
  • Do you want your world to center around women?  This is the biggest paradigm shift you have to accept.  The world of a PUA centers around women:  how to meet them, how to attract them, how to seduce them… how to chase them.
      
    Most of the “normal” men who I’ve seen naturally successful with women have their lives centered around what they are passionate about.  Women are a hobby.  These men don’t place their self-worth on the amount of women they have in their lives.  They place their self-worth on whatever activity they get fulfillment from. 

Therefore, if your goal is to learn how to attract women by being confident, by being you, you can skip a lot of the PUA methods out there.

The reason I have is very simple:  learn more about emotions and how emotions affect the woman and you’ll understand them better, connect with them better and in the end, attract them better.

You don’t need a method to learn how to do that.  Methods teach you a set of techniques and tactics.  Methods will give you a list of reasons on why their techniques work, how their techniques are based on the women’s needs and that’s why they successfully influence her emotions but I’ll be honest with you, their analysis is not always accurate.

There is no logic to emotions.

Even if your sole goal is to become a great womanizer, learn empathy and compassion.  Learn how to place yourself in her shoes so that you can understand her world.  By understanding her world, you will be able to navigate through her own emotional chaos and help her open up to you so she feels comfortable letting herself be seduced by you.

Instead of learning techniques A, B or C, instead of learning WHAT to do, LEARN HOW TO THINK about attraction, learn how to understand the emotions behind sexual arousal to make her feel desired, learn how to relate to the women’s needs and even more importantly, learn about yourself.

Attraction is about BEING attractive, not doing something attractive.

Real attraction starts from within because… (more…)

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