August 17th, 2012  (1)
The Player & The Art Of Seduction
Posted by Khiem in: Advice, Articles, First Impressions

I was about to post the new podcast for MTV’s Guy Code episode 4 but instead, I thought I’d share something else with you today.  If you’ve been following my blog, you’ll notice that we’ve had a couple discussions on what it means to be a player or what seduction is all about in our recent podcasts.

When I say “player,” I don’t always mean it with the typical negative connotation that most people have.  What I mean by it is the letting out of the sensual lover side that is innate in you.


I personally love to hear other people’s take on the art of seduction and I discovered this little post randomly on a while ago.  I was saving it for the right time to share it with you and today is the day.  It doesn’t seem that the original author still has it posted on her site but it is such a beautiful written piece that I feel we all need to read it for ourselves.

For your enjoyment, here’s a woman’s take on what it takes to seduce a woman.

[Editor’s Note:  I took the liberty to bold and italicize certain phrases]

The Player & The Art of Seduction

The first step to seducing a woman is to win over her mind, try to appear as genuine as you can and don’t feed her lines. A real player knows that rewards only come for those who are patient.

Now ladies, a player is not a man who gets his own and leaves a trail of broken hearts, a player is not someone who jumps from one bed to the next. A real player, is someone who lives his life like a legend, puts a woman into a passionate romance, and works his job like he built the entire company.

Seduction, is a game that forever requires leveling up. It is not lying or taking the first drunken girl back home or nagging a woman to death. It is an art and a skill. Most people will misunderstand it and think it is all about the money and the looks. Wrong. Boys you could think you’re perfect and measure up to all the others, because you have perfect teeth and a perfect body, but you are wrong and will sleep alone for a long time. If you think the amount of cash in your wallet does the trick you are wrong and your bed is a cold as your cash.

Seduction is founded on confidence. A man who does have any self confidence is nothing like a player. Without it, you’ll probably try to trap a girl with cheap pick up lines and a lame game, but honesty is more alluring to a woman as well as a man who is aware of what he truly wants who is solid and grounded.

Physical attraction is still important if you want to seduce a woman properly. You need to be well dressed and clean, you do not need to look like Brad Pitt or whoever, but you do need to look your best. I am sorry boys, but there is no second chance at first impression, and that is one thing that personally works with me. I will pay attention to it, but that doesn’t mean I am superficial for looking at the you’re dressed. Also, if you lack fashion sense, that is perfectly fine, but hygiene cannot be stressed out. Just consider good shoes, pressed pants and shirt and a classy watch. Class and seduction work together.

Harmlessness. Do not appear dangerous, this is not about high school anymore and you don’t need to be the Bad Boy anymore. Don’t expect her to give you the keys to her place, she will be cautious, but worth it. Also, smile but do not leer, do not objectify her body because a woman will notice when you are ignoring the words coming out of her mouth for her cleavage.

Charm! Seduction also is 10% projection of success, 10% appearance, 10% intelligence and 70% charm! But charm is another art, it means making a person aware that you feel good about them.

Intelligence. As a girl, I will want your mind before you body. Women are mental and emotional rather than visual and physical. Engage her thoughts and emotions with questions about who she is and what are her opinions. Don’t investigate too much or interview her, just start a thoughtful conversation. I am sorry but a man who sits next to me at a bar and starts saying random things and doesn’t know how to converse is a dick and will only make me want to get out. Avoid talking about sex, or previous relationships, that’s a real turn off.

Emotional seductiveness. That’s all in four words, excitement, excitement, excitement and spontaneity . Make her adrenaline rush without looking crazy of stalking her and she’ll be addicted to you. Women are creatures of emotions hence the estrogen hormone.

Chivalry. Most men think chivalry is dead. Wrong. That can also work in your favor if you do an act of a well trained gentleman like opening a door. I thought of it as pathetic for years because I was immature, but now it gets me all the time. Do it, I’ll like you. Learn etiquette. Conduct yourself with your best manners.

Sincerity and honesty. Be genuine, women can see the false interest easily.

Greatest turn-ons. Make her feel beautiful, all day every day. But don’t use it as a tool, so just don’t say it right before coming on to her and teasing her, or else she’ll figure out you want her sexually and only sexually.

Remember, a man paints with his brains, not with his hands.

Originally posted on

So now that you’ve done reading it, take a breather and read it again!  And when your mind starts wandering, post a few comments.

What does seduction mean to you?  What have you seen work for you or on you?  Let’s hear your stories.

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    September 18th, 2008  (8)
American Men: Too Macho or Too Homophobic?
Posted by Jack in: Articles

Whenever I hang out with my college guy friends in a group, there is always a tendency for them to demonstrate to one another that they are not gay or not acting in any feminine fashions.

In fact, any acts of weak behavior is taboo and deserve a kick in the nut sack.

It seems that they always feel the need to demonstrate that they are as straight as a heterosexual can be and are in every way the quintessential alpha male, aka “The Man!”. 

I consider this typical college fraternity mentality.  The sad part is most guys never grow out of this mindset for a long time. For some, sadly to say, their entire lives are lived out in such ways.

GUY1: “DUDE!!!…………..Did you see that shit?  That was AWESOME! YEAH, I OWNED THAT SHIT.”

GUY2: “That’s what I’m talking about man!  Grand Theft Auto is awesome.  You can shoot cops and run people over.”

GUY3: “Iono guys, this game is nice and all but it’s a little violent. I like playing tennis on Wii better than this cuz it’s more relaxing and entertaining. You know what I mean?”

GUY1 & GUY2: “WTF!? Dude you’re freaking GAY!”

GUY2: “Yeah man that’s the most homo thing I’ve ever heard” 

GUY3: “F&*k you two!”

GUY1: “Why don’t you go play with your little Wii and do your Dance Dance Revolution routine in your living room.”

Does the above conversation sound familiar?

Typical behaviors for these kind of men include talking louder, making more noticeably overt gestures to draw attention to themselves, laughing with deeper voice and trying to one up one another by making fun of each other.  

When hanging out together, they make sure to leave enough space in between one another to not get too close and touch the other guy by mistake.  They MUST not show any form of physical contact with another man aside from the manly punching and slapping.

After traveling and learning about other cultures, I feel that most men in the United States (my college buddies included) are very homophobic. They are afraid to show the sensual sensitive side of themselves to people, particularly in front of other men because they fear being chastised by their peers.  Most of them associate being sensual as feminine.  

They cover this insecurity of potentially being perceived as a “weaker” man by showcasing outrageous overt behaviors such as acting like a jock, walking with a swagger, etc. 

It wasn’t until I took theApproach‘s bootcamp with Sebastian Drake and later on, until I started hanging out with Khiem that I realized how silly these societal conditioned perceptions can be. 

Those of you who have traveled a lot probably have noticed that men from the rest of the world are quite different than men from the US.  Most of my European and South American friends are very sensual and in tune with their sexuality.

They own their manliness image by not being afraid of gentle touching, fully body hugging, cheek-kiss greeting and generally-speaking being comfortable around and in the presence of other men. With women, they show even more warmth than with men.  

Everything about them conveys how comfortable they are with their body and sexuality. They are not afraid to show people their real side instead of our typical American cowboy, alpha male demeanor. They express who they are with authenticity and purest form of desire.

On the contrary, American men seem lost and (more…)

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    April 12th, 2008  (2)
Meeting The “Man Transformation” Seminar’s Dating Experts
Posted by Khiem in: Announcements & News, Articles, First Impressions

This week, I got to tag along David Wygant to David DeAngelo’s “Double Your Dating:  Man Transformation” seminar.

David Wygant had a speech to do and as usual, he rocked it.  His energy is absolutely amazing when in front of an audience. 

When he gets on stage, he just gets in the zone.  He never prepares his speech.  Everything is in his head and I think that’s what makes him so good.  He knows his stuff so well that he just get into that flow state. He gets in the moment and everything comes out naturally.

For this seminar, he brought a grapefruit on stage and asked one courageous volunteer to come up.  He then explained:  “I want you to catch the grapefruit. I’m going to roll it either fast or slow.  It’s up to you to catch it.”  Without much of a warning, he then rolled the grapefruit fast towards the volunteer.  The guy missed the grapefruit completely and had to chase it down the stage.

This is what most men do wrong.  They spend their life chasing after women.

The audience went crazy with the analogy.  David moved on to talk about how men need to learn to attract women instead of chasing them.  Men need to learn to have purpose, have passion, be able to observe and listen to truly connect with women on a deeper, higher level.

I’m not going to lie.  I like working with David.  He has a very healthy lifestyle and mindset.  Sometimes, I feel he could teach a little bit more technical stuff for the guys who truly don’t get it but he doesn’t… and I know why.  He really wants guys to understand the habits and behaviors of being an attractive man.  If you “get it”, techniques don’t matter as much.

However, David is not the only dating expert I like to hang around or hear from.  There are a lot of other dating experts and gurus that teach some truly amazing things.

At the “Man Transformation” seminar, I was very happy to see Vin DiCarlo again.  He’s one of my favorite guys in the Community because his writing has always resonated with me.  He’s the guy who coined the term “Natural Game” for the Seduction Community a few years back.

If you were to meet him, you’d think of him as a totally normal guy unlike some of the other Pick-Up Artists (PUAs) out there.  Ask him about his Star Wars collectibles collection sometimes or if you are into music, ask him about his rockstar aspirations.

Maybe I like him because I’m a Star Wars geek too.

The only difference between you and him is that he just gets laid a whole lot more than you ;p

He’s definitely a bit more of a Pick-Up Artist than a dating kinda guy but his methodoly has always been about bringing your most natural masculine behaviors out without asking you to manipulate women into liking you.  Some of his advanced techniques can definitely be misused by ill-intentioned men towards women but that’s the nature of things.  You can use any pool of knowledge for good or evil.

As I was networking with David, I didn’t realized that I completely missed Vin’s presentation.  Bummer!  I was really looking forward to hearing what he had to say.

I did get to chat with him a little bit though.  He’s releasing a new e-book called The Attraction Code which I’m pretty excited about.

He graciously sent me a copy for me to review so you can bet that I’ll be writing about it soon.  I’ve read 3/4th of the e-book already and the cool thing about Vin is that he realizes that any seduction method out there CAN work… as long as you know HOW TO THINK about attraction.

So if you want to keep yourself up-to-date on his e-book release, make sure to sign up for his VIP list right now by clicking the banner below.  He has some freebies to give away and he’ll be releasing the book to his friends and private list first.

I also got to chat a little bit with Steve Piccus.  If you don’t know him, he’s the guy behind the White Tiger Tantra DVD set.

In those videos, he teaches men how to massage a woman for optimal relaxation and blood flow so you can help her reach deeper, stronger orgasms and squirting.  I remember watching those DVDs a long time ago and wondering how Steve would be like in person.  From his long hair and cowboy/native American fashion style, I was afraid he’d be some kind of woo woo woo new age spiritual guy.

After meeting him, I can say that Steve is CRAZY!!!  He’s not insane crazy.  He’s just crazy because he’s so full of life and energy.  I was there listening to him and David Wygant speak to each other and Steve truly understands how to connect to women on a much higher level.

Steve’s 18-year old son was also present and it was interesting to watch how father and son were both so open with each other about sexuality.  So many fathers out there don’t really teach their sons anything about women.  The funniest part for me was when his son expressed his view that a lot of Pick-Up Artists (PUAs) are just “gay”.  They seemed more interested in chatting with other men than meeting women.

Now, THAT’s something to think about.  This reminds me of what Adam Lyons once said in one of his speeches: 

If you want to meet women, surround yourself with women.  Why are you going out with a bunch of dudes?

Steve Piccus is definitely a manly man.  Everything about him projects a very masculine and dominant energy.  He absolutely abhors the part of the Seduction Community that teaches men to use tricks to meet women or the part of the Community that tell guys to act or dress gay to attract women.  If you want to meet women of quality, be a man! 

Steve curses a storm when he wants to make his opinion well known.  You probably wouldn’t want him to speak if political correctness was an issue.  He’s very passionate about what he teaches and you can tell it’s important for him to have men and women connect genuinely on a spiritual and sexual level.  Just by listening to him and talking to him for a few minutes, I was just amazed at how much he knew about sensuality and health.

I sure hope David and I get to work with him in the near future.

Finally, I got to meet Brent M.  David and Brent have been friends for a long time and I’ve always heard good things about Brent.  However, I haven’t met him until a few days ago.

Brent is one of those guys who also focuses on teaching men to live an interesting lifestyle.  If you live an attractive lifestyle, women will come to you but you have to learn to let go of a lot of your fears, a lot of your outcome dependence, a lot of your insecurities.

Brent is probably one of the best dressers I’ve met in the Community.  He has a very clean yet trendy look.  He wears good jeans, very nice shoes and always sports a nice blazer/sport coat.  The way he moves is very flowing and dominant.  His image alone probably gives him a lot of attention from the kinder gender.

Besides his good fashion sense, he has long shiny hair that would make Fabio (the model for all those romance novels) jealous.  You know what?  Maybe I should nickname Brent “Fabio.”  I wonder how he’d like that.  Anyhow, I didn’t talk to him about anything significant but I know that I’d just get along with him.  There are some people you just know.  You just KNOW you’d click with them.  There’s something about their vibe that puts you at ease and makes you smile.

The “Man Transformation” seminar featured a lot of other guest speakers including Lance Mason from PU101, Mehow, Hypnotica, Grant Adams from Net2Bed, Sean Stevenson, Alex Allman (author of Revolutionary Sex) and Neil Strauss himself.  I didn’t get to hear everyone speak and I definitely didn’t talk to all of them either but it was fun for me to just SEE all these gurus in one room chatting one another up. 

There were even other major players in the industry that just came in to network.  Tyler Durden from RSD, Jae Ellis from AskRomeo and Cameron Teone from AttractWomenAnywhere were there as well.

They may be competitors when it comes to business but when you put them all in one room, they are all friends.

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