November 14th, 2008  (0)
Kill The Mood Please…
Posted by Khiem in: Articles

I can’t stop laughing.

There are times when you have to admit… we, as humans, are funny.

I want you to imagine something.

Imagine yourself going on a date.  You are dressed all sexy and hot.  You pick up your date and she’s dressed up to the nines.

She’s definitely wanting to turn heads today, in particular, your head.  Her low cut blouse makes your eyes wander towards her plunging cleavage.

Her short shorts emphasize her already beautiful plump bum.

“Control yourself,” your mind tells you.  You can’t make it so obvious that you are checking her out, now can you?

As you come in to give her a hug, you let out a quick compliment.  “Thank you,” she says with her cute little smile.

Her warm body feels good in your arms.  As your chest rests briefly against hers, you take a quick whiff at her neck and silky hair.  She smells good too.  Hmmm… You can feel yourself getting turned on.

Not realizing what has just happened until just now, you hope she doesn’t notice your growing bulge.

She lets you go with an even bigger smile.  “Oh my god!  Did she notice?”

After a quick lunch, you both end up taking a stroll on the beach.  As you walk side by side on the pier towards the sea, she gets cold.  Even though the sky is clear with a powerfully radiant sun shining on, the chilling wind blows strongly.  Like little kids unaware of the sexual implications of a boy and girl holding each other, you stand behind her and wrap your arms around her to keep her warm.

People look at you with funny stares.  You both look like penguins, marching like that, wrapped in each other, towards the diner at the end of the pier but it doesn’t matter to you.  She’s so close to you.  You can smell her intoxicating scent again.  Hmmm…

You feel the urge…

Though you can’t see her face when walking like that, you can sense her smiling.  She likes it.  She’s holding your arms wrapped around her.

Inside, you both share a root beer float sitting next to each other, in a booth overlooking the horizon.  She lets one of your hands roam around her thigh.  She’s laughing at the stupid jokes you tell her.  Hmmm… her body feels so smooth against your hand.

You can’t help but smile.   (more…)

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    September 5th, 2008  (6)
Don’t Be A Dildo
Posted by Khiem in: Articles

Pardon my bluntness here but let me ask you something:

Are you a great lover?

Really.  Honestly.  Don’t try to blow yourself up here.  I’m not the one to judge you.  Look straight into my eyes and tell me how good of a lover you are.

No, no, no, don’t laugh either.  I’m asking for your own benefit.

You see, I love nicknames.  

Nicknames are fun.  Every time I give someone a nickname, I just feel that much closer to them.  I particularly love giving nicknames to the girl(s) I’m dating.  It’s very endearing and guess what, she likes it too.  The fun part is seeing what kind of nickname the girl might give you.

And… let me tell you.  There is ONE nickname you don’t ever want to be called.  

You don’t want to be “Dildo…”

No, I’m not “Dildo.”

“But a lot of guys are,”  as my girl from Vegas claimed.

Think of the imagery for a moment.  Guys = Dildos.  How funny is that?!?  It makes total sense!  Most guys don’t know the first thing about sexual pleasure beyond kissing, some basic fingering or tonguing techniques and in-and-out hip movements.

No wonder women are so picky about who they sleep with.  They don’t want another lame lover.  If all that they wanted was some in-and-out poking of their vaginas, they could just as well pull out their favorite plastic toy.

Men like that are disposable.  They are no better than dildos.

My friend from Vegas is in her late 20s.  None of the guys she’s been with in the past 10 years has ever taken the time to figure out where her G-spot is.  That’s totally absurd!

It’s like all they do is find a way to stick it in, pump a few times and there… that’s their idea of sex.

If the guys were a bit more sophisticated, they’d have learned something about female anatomy so they’d know a few special sex positions or techniques to specifically stimulate the various erogenous zones (aka G-Spot, Anterior and Posterior Fornix, Clitoris, Perineum area… etc.) and… eventually, after they’ve explored all the technical aspects of sex, they’d have played with speed and depth variation or how rough they’d go at it.

Sounds like a lot of fun and it is!  But great sex goes way beyond that.

(more…)

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    December 13th, 2007  (0)
Women DO Know
Posted by Khiem in: Articles, Interviews

You’ve heard it from the Pick-Up Artist (PUA) Community before: 

When it comes to men, women don’t know what they want.

In some ways, it’s true.  Women (and men too) usually base their dating preferences on their past experiences so technically, they (and we as well) really don’t know what they (we) want.  Our preferences CAN change.  It just takes one new “different” experience to make that happen. 

On a similar topic, some PUAs have said that women don’t know how to express what they are attracted to in a way that is applicable and useful to a guy wanting to improve his dating life.  Again, it is sometimes true.  Some women give such vague advice that you really wouldn’t know how to use it without the proper context or mindset but once in a while, women can tell you how the game is played.

I personally like to ask women themselves about their thoughts on male-female dynamics.  You may be surprised at what they will teach you.  A lot of women may pretend that they don’t know you are “gaming” them but they really do!  And when you talk to enough women, you start seeing a recurring pattern in what they will tell you.

Below, I am going to share with you an instant messaging chat session that I’ve had with a girl I met a few weeks ago at a club/lounge.  After speaking with her for a few minutes, I found her delightfully charming.  She is the type of girl who displays a reserved, yet sexy appeal.  She knew everyone I met there that night.  She gave off a very lady-like, classy, graceful vibe and I would definitely consider her a high quality woman.  She’s not your senseless party girl.  She is in her early 30s, she runs/owns her own business and yes, she is hot.  To clarify, she also has no prior knowledge of teachings from the Seduction Community.

The conversation started with how she likes to flirt with a lot of guys but in case you didn’t know yet, flirting doesn’t always mean that the girl likes you for more than friends.

Her: i mean i’ll flirt with all sorts of guys
Her: but i see them as my friends
Me: You make me curious
Her: what? bout what?
Me: How would you pick “your man”?  How would your man makes you feel?
Her: i know this sounds crazy but there always need to be a tension with me n the guy i love
Her: where he would be fearful and love me at the same time. fearful as in fearful of losing me

If you read in between the lines, she really wants to see her man feel raw desire and passion for her.  It’s very arousing for a woman to know that you can’t help but WANT her and her alone.  Any good courtship should involve some sort of sexual tension but before you can even start there, you have to be intriguing.  You want to display some form of value.  You want to paint yourself in ways that captivate her.

Her: how i would pick my man is if he piques my curiosity
Her: n my head is obsessed with him (but he doesnt know that!)

With the conversation starting so well, I dug deeper.

Me: what does it mean when you finally confess: “I AM attracted to this man!”
Her: are u talking bout me defining it?
Her: or someone else saying it?
Her: cuz i always give the weirdest responses. haha.  not normal
Me: I want your answer
Me: I don’t want your general idea of what everyone else means!
Her: in the past, i would’ve said that i wanted to know everything bout him, but now, it really means i want to jump his bones n have his baby. haha
Her: but theres a difference bt attraction n compatibility
Her: i can be attracted to someone but dont want to be with them
Her: totally wrong for me
Her: ok, scratch that baby part
Her: its all mental for me
Her: the attraction has to do with sexual libido.

This is really interesting.  Her answer is very consistent with a lot of the sexually mature women I have spoken with.  Any women who were 26+ of age and to whom I have asked this question have said the exact same thing.  If a girl admits to being attracted to you, she wants sex with you.  However, notice that she also added something very important:  “it’s all mental for me”.  So if you want to have a woman, you have to be able to seduce her mind.  You have to be able to stimulate her mentally.  I let her continue.

Her: but of course, i dont jump his bones.
Her: if i really, really like someone, i am very distant to them. n i take my time

I was very intrigued by this new information.  Why wouldn’t she want to indulge in the carnal pleasures of a man she feels attracted to?  I asked for more.

Me: could it be b/c you are afraid to opening too fast?
Her: i hold the tension as long as i can. make both of us go crazy
Her: right
Her: bc i need to set the bar high
Me: or is it b/c you really want him to make it safe for you to open and feel that desire
Her: no, doesnt matter
Her: to me, there are no rules n boundaries
Her: but i wait n buy my time
Her: bc i like the rewards to be the best. n the ultimate. 
Her: bc if u jump the guys bones too soon, u depreciate it

After a little bit of random chatter, we commented on people who have sex quickly.

Her: ppl who are insecure think that if they dont give all of themselves soon, the other party will lose interest

Re-read that:  “ppl who are insecure think that if they dont give all of themselves soon, the other party will lose interest”.  I sometimes feel that parts of the Pick-Up Community encourages guys to bed women too quickly.  It’s probably stemming from the “fake it until you make it” mentality:  “Oh no… I better bed that girl soon before she finds out I’m really not that cool of a guy.”

For some guys, this is an unhealthy mindset to uphold.  I understand that laying a lot of women quickly is a lifestyle choice but it has to be something you desire.  For the majority of “nice guys” who are just trying to improve their dating success, there is NOTHING wrong with taking your time.  The psychology of attraction is the same whether you take 1 night to get the girl or 3 months to do so.

However, as you gain a better understanding of sexuality and as you develop strong and real inner game, quick lays become a choice that you may decide to embrace… not because you are told to do so but because you finally realize that sex is just the beginning.  It gets better with time.  As my natural friend Marc once told me:

You can’t truly understand and love a woman until you experience her fully… both physically and mentally. 

(more…)

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